Has anyone had any success with paid sleep consultants?

[practicallyimperfect]

Ds will be 2 in Sept. He wakes at anytime after 4.30am every morning. He often wakes in night too, but us easily resettled. He goes to sleep well enough and naps well.

We have tried all advice in books. We have blackout blinds (although he does it in deepest winter, so don't think it is that. We have tried shorter naps, longer naps, earlier naps etc.

I am part time, but return to full time work in Sept (teacher). It is already killing me, I can't function properly. All me and dh do is argue because we are Si tired. I have work to do in evenings, who early.nights are difficult.

We are desperate, but also don't have much cash. Don't want to pay out for consultant for it not to work.

[tegan]

don't waste your money. My ds is also 2 and wakes at 5.30 every morning but has good naps, self settles at bedtime and too is up tice in the night but goes straight back to sleep easily. It will get better it just takes time you are doing all the right things but your dc's body clock is just programmed to wake at that time. As they grow their bodies will need more sleep and as such their sleep will settle. It is hard when they are little but it gets easier as i have 2 other dc's who have done exactly the same and now sleep 12 to 14 hours every night

[gingergaskell]

I think it's a price worth paying. :)

Hopefully others here can give some recommendations, so you find a good fit for your needs / your own style of parenting etc, so you get the results you need.

My younger daughter had bad reflux as a baby, and also her personality is such that she is fairly high maintenance! I'm comparing to my older son, who also had bad reflux {they both had protein allergy} and even so, was able to manage sleep a lot better.

Anyway she was so bad that we{my husband and I would take shifts} would have to stay up with her most of the night trying to keep her settled {one night we literally stayed up ALL night, she was that unsettled!}

My older son is only 19 months older than her I had no one to support me, having just moved to the country, and my husband doesn't get home from work until late {once they are in bed} and also was travelling a lot at the time.

Anyway in the end when she was about 10 months old I tried a night nanny while my husband was away one week, it was just so I could get some sleep, I wasn't actually expecting 'results'.
I was fairly clear on what I wanted as far as when to offer feeds, patting through rather than leaving to cry etc, with her reflux I was just aiming to manage sleep rather than fixing it.
So I asked this lady just to do the same things I was already, and bring her in to me when feeds were needed.

What I found was that combination of having some sleep myself to be able to better cope, and also having someone else to do it, so the stress and anxiety I had from doing it every night, wasn't washing off on my daughter, made a huge difference.
We had the NN for only 3 nights, that was enough to settle her into a pattern of about 2 /3 wake ups a night, which was fine for her at 10 months old {and a walk in the park compared to what I had been doing} and by a year she was sleeping through.

BEST money I'd ever spent. I don't know if my daughter would have been ready {reflux wise} to have had the same results by doing it earlier, but do regret not having tried it at least.

[practicallyimperfect]

Thanks. Tegan that is what people keep saying, just really struggling at moment. My dh won't ever consider another child now as he says this has been too hard.

I just don't know how to cope when I am so tired. My job is so demanding in terms of not just being able to have a quiet day, and I have already had days this year where I just cry and cry because I am so tired.

My ds spends too long watching cbeebies as my energy is zapped.

I know it will get better, but not sure I can survive

[bigkidsmademe]

I have. At four months DS was waking every forty five minutes so I went to see Andrea Grace on Harley Street. It was £250 for initial consultation and sleep plan then a month of phone calls while we implemented the plan. Four weeks later he was no longer feeding to sleep, could self settle, and was sleepig through every other night ish. Now at six months he sleeps through every night, 7-6. It was worth every penny, frankly!

I think for us the success came from having a strict plan, which meant we did exactly the same thing every night, and having someone we were accountable to so we didn't cheat at 4am when previously we would have!

[tegan]

please dont think i dont know what tired means. Dd2 never slept any longer than 20 mins in 24 hours for 3 years but gradually she has slept longer until 18 months ago she began to sleep 12 hours easy. Dd1 slept all night but was a early riser being up at 3am til 5am then returning to bed for an hour sometimes 2 if i was lucky. ds1 used to wake every hour but now at 2.5 yrs he is self settling and sleeps alot better, only waking twice but up at 5:30.but like i have said they all grow out of it and not every child is like this so dont think for a minute if you had another it would be the same.

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

We used these people //www.sleepnannies.co.uk They were amazing. Completely sorted out DS when he was at his worst. Best thing, we did at all by phone and it cost less than 100 pounds. Best money we have ever spent.

[bigkidsmademe]

I'm sure they do all grow out of it in the end. But if it saves the OP a year or even six months of broken nights and exhaustion, Tegan, why not try a consultant?

[Dreemagurl]

We were very tempted ourselves, and went through an initial consultation, both phone and face to face, which was free and not obligatory to proceed. We didn't go any further as we really couldn't afford it, and DD's sleep has improved (touch wood) on her own. However my friend used them and swore they were worth every penny and would use them again. We tried Night Nannies and I have to say we probably would have used them if we'd had the money, if only to get some sleep ourselves and have backup from a 'professional'. They were lovely and helpful when I spoke to them, and a lot of the advice they gave me I use as gospel now! I would say, if you have the money go for it, or at the least have a consultation as there's nothing to lose. Good luck and really hope things get better for you.

[practicallyimperfect]

Tegan, I know others understand. I am beginning to think that other people must cope better than me. I feel like it is killing me. I am not so bad in holidays where I am just with ds all day, but when I am working I find it almost impossible.

I realise not every child is like this, but dh won't risk it.

I am going to call one tomorrow. All dh and I do is argue, mostly about who is more tired. Which is so pointless, but we can't seem to stop.

[rr16]

I tried everything, just like you, before contacting a sleep consultant. I was seriously losing the plot and every relationship was being effected. The money was a major issue for me - that's why I made sure I'd tried every avenue before shelling out BUT IT IS WORTH IT!!!! Sarah Barnes (Leeds/York based) from //gentlesleepsolutions.co.uk has changed my 16mo ds's awful sleep patterns and given me my life back.

I can't recommend her enough, just wish I'd not waited so bloody long to contact her...!!!!!!!!!