Controlled crying not working. Any other suggestions?(16 Posts)
I have been trying cc for a while now on my 6 mth old dd, but even after an hour and a half of her shouting and me going up and down the stairs, she stubbornly will not give in and go to sleep.
Does anyone have any other suggestions?
Hi, I am not sure if this is going to be of any use for you but is there a possibility that your little one is not tired enough when you put her down? Or maybe overtired? Could she be hungry/thirsty? When did she last sleep and eat? If all is ok on that front maybe she is not quite ready for controlled crying? We tried some controlled crying on our son when he was a bit younger than 6 months and it was definitely too early. He refused to go to sleep and just cried, it was heartbreaking. We then cuddled him to sleep instead and only reverted back to controlled crying when he was just under a year.
Sorry if I am not of much help..
The No Cry Sleep Solution
I am a strong believer in responding to infant's needs and the book above helps you to ease your baby into a 'better' sleep pattern.
Teeth? I did CC and failed totally. Three weeks in and we were still having 2 hours of screaming a night. Was totally awful. (In my defence, I was sleep deprived and desparate.) Teeth came through and all was fine. I would dose up on neurofen, not calpol, and see if that makes a difference. In fact, I think there was a period of a month or two when the only way I could get him to sleep at all was to give him pain killers.
Good luck. It's horrible.
Has she got a bedtime routine?
Is the room dark?
Is she in a sleeping bag thingy?
Has she got some relaxing music on?
How long are you leaving her to cry before going back in? (I found with my dd that if I went back in too quickly/often it just made her more determined to keep going iyswim?!)
What time is it?
How much does she sleep during the day?
Can she self settle?
Does she have a dummy/ blankey?
O.kay thats enough questions for now!!!
CC is meant (according to the Toddler Taming book) to be a very strict, timed, add 2 minutes each time. Eg leave them 3 mins, then 5, then 7 etc. Apparently its the gradual increase that is key.
Its worked a treat for my DDs the handful of times I've used it - but then I could have just been lucky, and mine have been much older when I've used it (10 months to 2 years ish). Only ever got to 9 mins leaving them before they gave in and went to sleep.
I think at 6 months you might need to give it up, and try when she is nearer a year, if the problems are still continuing. And only, as the poster above says, if you are absolutely sure that all other bases are covered - hunger, tiredness, illness/teething etc etc etc.
Can you give us an idea of the sleep problems you're having with her, and maybe we can suggest something more constructive?
When I did DD with DS, I found it pissed him off more when I came in and out of the room. Agree that you need to rule out any potential causes of discomfort, over tiredness or lack of. I think it's important to have some sort of a routine even if not necessarily dead rigid.
When you decide to go down the CC route, you ought to be very consistent because you can aggravate your DC if you are not.
I think that maybe she is still hungry/thirsty, as most nights she dozes off during her feed, but she stirs when I put her in to her cot. She's ok for a few minutes but before long starts to shout (rather than properly cry). The only way I can settle her is to feed her again until she falls asleep then attempt again to put her in her cot. Some nights I can end up doing this over and over again for hours.
I agree that maybes she isn't ready for it yet, and also that different methods work for different lo's.
I wasn't sure if there were any different methods I could try.
Is it a recent thing?
Just thinking that if it is, and she's 6 months, it could be down to the solids/milk balance maybe (i.e. not enough solids, and the milk isn't quite doing the trick anymore). Has she been able to settle herself to sleep before this?
PS if it is to do with something physical, like hunger/teething, then no kind of method will help really. The methods - whichever one you use - are all to solve problems with the DCs not settling themselves to sleep, not physical issues that are preventing settling. Hence needing to address all the potential issues first, before starting any methods.
TBH it sounds like you are being used as a human dummy, if you are o.kay with that then fine but personally that would have driven me nuts!!!
I think have a bedtime routine so you know they are clean, fed and sleepy but them down in a dark room with soothing music and then leave them to it.
Set the timer and do quick checks every 10mins or so. In the long run you are doing them and yourself a massive favour by teaching them to self settle imo.
Have you read a specific book/do you have a specific plan?
IME, this book was a complete life-saver. It meant we didn't have to leave DS1 for unbearable periods of time, and it only took 2 nights before we were sorted.
Definitely worth a read to find out how to go about it.
This sounds mad but it sounds like she's overtired. DS did this - if he was too tired or I put him to bed too late, he'd want to feed feed feed to get him to sleep. The other thing was he sometimes got wind and again would feed a huge amount to relieve it. I'd have to burp him and he'd settle a lot quicker.
So if you want to try CC, go for an earlier bedtime of about 20 mins. After feeding making sure she's fully winded then give a cuddle and go from there (I've not done this myself mind - I went for an earlier feed then would put down in the cot - sometimes he'd flap about and fall asleep by himself sometimes not!)
Hi, I did the 'pick up put down' method suggested by the late baby whisperer Tracy Hogg.
That works by not letting your baby cry and virtually picking them up every time they do cry. You stand there and comfort them and soon as they stop crying, you put them back down. This is repeated until they fall asleep. The time required for this gets shorter every day.
The first night we did this it took 2 hours of continual pick up put down. The second night 2 1/2 hours, the third night 10 minutes and that was it. We've never gone back.
I had to get my husband to do it as I was breastfeeding still and it's not usually a good idea for you to do it as it could be teasing them as they can smell the milk.
Highly recommend it.
i didn't do it till 7 months till i was sure he'd eaten/drunk enough during the day so he really couldn't have been hungry. if it doesn't work then that means baby still needs something to go to sleep - food/milk/clean nappy/calpol/teething gel.
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