6yr old will not go to bed -

[ClingingOnByFingertips]

She has a bedtime routine and is tired. And yet we fight, night after night about this. I try not to engage in an argument about it, and fail. At end of tether. Can't even see tether any more.

[wonderfultykes]

Nightmare, so sorry.

? Tell her uber-calmly and sweetly: 'I won't be putting you to bed tonight, sweetheart, you will be doing that yourself, I am going to be downstairs starting my work/sorting the breakfast/ hoovering the cat etc etc'.

Make clear she needs to do hands, face, teeth, hair, jamas, put out tomorrow's clothes, turn out light etc, all on her own, all before X o'clock.

Say goodnight before you send her upstairs. THere'll be no bedtime story of course. No snuggling time. No pleasant wind down to her day

Then steel yourself and ignore her (while you sit with your large gin). You are busy working/watching telly/enjoying self and as she reappears, it's almost an irrelevance: calmly, 'no darling you are putting yourself to bed tonight, remember, as I'll not be waiting around upstairs for you. Up you go, see you tomorrow sweetheart.'

(carries on working)

'Oh, are you still here?'

Took nerves of steel and much gin but worked for ours who HATES not being snuggled in. Very soon whipped in to shape. Best of luck!

[JT44]

The 'put yourself to bed tonight" routine does sound like something to try, I'm struggling with the same problem with my 7 yr old boy. Could I ask how long you did this and do you now give a story as an option?

[Lambskin]

Do you use reward charts? Can work if she really wants something, can be a way to work towards it. Apologies if you've already tried this!