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Angry. Frustrated. sad. 6mo sleep problems

(3 Posts)
Cbell Sun 03-Jul-11 07:31:55

Last night was crap. I have woken up so pissed off. I am angry at my DD for not sleeping. I am angry at my DH for being useless and only thinking of himself (this may not be entirely true) but mostly I am angry at me. WHY DON'T I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO. ( Not sure if you are allowed to swear on here... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Over the last two months her sleep has got worse. She is waking ever hour. We can usually just pop the dummy back in and sooth a little. But sometimes it's BF and then in bed with me.

Last night we moved her rooms. I was so excited. Our bedroom back to ourselves. It was so lovely and grown up. But after going to bed fine (with the usual popping dummy back in routine) by 1am she wasn't settling. I was angry. I was fustrated getting up and down. Stupid hustand was making pointless comments...#Do you think she is too hot'.....GO AND CHECK STOP ASKING ME!

So at 1am she ended up in bed with me. Where she slept much better. I did the dummy routine, then when she was really restless gave her boob. This is clearly what she wants but I feel so angry because it isn't what I want.

I started out following an attachment parenting approach and 6 months in I feel crap, useless. I want her to sleep more. I want to teach her to self sooth.

The HV said I should do a form of CC
My friend said this might damage our bond and make her more prone to stress

I feel so sad. I don't feel like loving either my little girl or my hubby this morning

Paula30CWR Sun 03-Jul-11 08:38:28

I'm sorry to hear sounds like you're all having a difficult time.
Last night it was bad for us as well. We have a nearly four-month old baby boy and when he was 2 1/2 or 3, he slept perfectly fine form 7.30pm til 11.30, then dream feed, and carried on until 3am, then another dream fed and will go on until 7.

We moved houses 3 weeks ago...and now, it's hell!
6.30pm - 7pm - bath
7.30 - feed and bed
8.30 - waking time! moaning --- eventually, sleep
11.00 - awake --- moaning, sleep
11.30 - We go to bed.
12am or 1 -- awake, incredibly energetic, feed, no sleep, ending up in bed with us and still not settling.

Result: every our or every hour and half all the above procedures are repeated plus rocking him as he hates dummy. Nothing works..The only thing that works is rocking him while we are in bed, that is holding him while he is lying next to us and moving him as if he was being rocked..uncomfortable position. If we get up and walk around, the minute you put him in the cot, he wakes up.

Last night I cried of exhaustion, frustration and dissapointment at myself. I used to get mad at my husband but I understand it's hard for him as well. We wanted to let him cry out but it's awful. However, the doctor said to me he understands those paretns that have to decide on that...because there is no point in being frustrated if all you want is to give your child the benefit of sleeping.

Now it's 8.30, I got up at 7 because the baby was very energetic in our bed. I'm tired but I let my husband rest. I know it's hard for him as well.

Try not to argue with him but think that babies are different. That no matter how many books you read to make your baby do what you want, in the end, and this is only MY opinion, you need to have a happy baby - yes a tired mum, but eventually we'll get there. You might need to change some things in your routine and try different things. Something will work.

I hope that my experience, though not much helpful, has made you realise you're not the only one.

Take care xxxx

valbona Sun 03-Jul-11 11:01:11

hello, I remember the rage/exhaustion/frustration so well. our DD was always pretty rubbish at sleeping and at around six months it became farcically bad - waking every 40 mins/ hour and nothing would settle her, but nothing. I was deranged and also meant to be working ... not good ...

first, you are not useless! some babies seem to get sleeping, others don't.

second, for us it was CC that worked. we did it at about 8 months when we were about to implode. It was the last thing I ever, ever thought I'd do - but I think very few mothers think "yeah great I want to leave my baby to cry".

the thing is - it worked. and she only cried for 10 mins the first night (with us going in after 1 min and 3 min or something) and less the second night. which was a hell of a lot less than the crying we had when we tried to settle her with food/singing/rocking/patting etc. and then she slept every night from a feed at 10/11 ish until 6ish. and she was so obviously so much chirpier after a proper night's sleep. entirely undamaged, I promise.

of course she has had bad nights since with teething or after we've been away somewhere, which is OK, and we help her settle as best we can, but we've never gone back to that hellish insanity.

good luck whatever you do and please don't beat yourself up.

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