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How the hell do I get this child to nap?!

(16 Posts)
attethersend Fri 01-Jul-11 13:32:36

Please tell me how you get your 6 month olds to nap during the day.

This is my second child. I never succeeded with DS1 either. He is now two and naps every day at nursery but still WILL NOT sleep during the day when at home with me. DS2 is now doing the same thing. He wants to be fed to sleep but if he's not hungry he won't feed and therefore won't sleep. He grizzles and whines all day because he's tired and becomes a screaming horror by about 5pm but will not go to sleep unless I walk for miles with him in the pram (did this with DS1 but can't now as I have a two year old who also needs attention/his dinner preparing etc.).

I have the No Cry Sleep solution but it doesn't really seem to address napping. He currently sleeps ok at night, but is driving me mad during the day. I can't go anywhere or do anything because he just screams and screams.

RitaMorgan Fri 01-Jul-11 13:38:27

Can you try to re-order his feeds a little so he's hungry around naptime? How often does he feed and how often does he need to sleep? At around that age my ds liked to feed every 2-3 hours and could only stay awake 3 hours, so I'd feed him at 7am and then try to stretch him to 9.30/10am so I could feed to sleep.

Will he fall asleep in a sling?

TimeForLunch Fri 01-Jul-11 13:39:32

Have you tried a dummy? Not ideal to get into that at 6 months if you haven't before now, but better than having a constantly overtired baby. If he feeds to sleep (when he will take it) maybe it is the sucking that is comforting him in which case a dummy might help. Just a thought.

Samvet Fri 01-Jul-11 13:42:28

There is a no cry nap solution book by the same author.

bigkidsmademe Fri 01-Jul-11 13:44:07

Mine now naps in his cot but until he was five months only napped in the slog. I have a good one with padded straps and walk about the house all day with him in it. Would that work?

prettyone Fri 01-Jul-11 13:49:52

If you are very desperate, you could try settling him down in his cot at the same time they do at his nursery and leave him there. Close door, go to another room and lisen to a radio. Hopefully after a cry and no distractions he will drop off. If he is safe in his cot he will come to no harm. Find out from nursery how long he sleeps, do they play calming music etc and try and do the same at home.
Good luck x

attethersend Fri 01-Jul-11 13:51:25

Tried him with a dummy when he was very little and he wouldn't take it. He won't take a bottle either, so I think that's probably a non-starter. His brother was exactly the same. Would go for hours rather than take a bottle.

He's quite reluctant to go in a sling at all, let alone sleep in one!

The problem with feeding is, I try to time his feeds so that they coincide with when he is sleepy, but if he doesn't go off (or more likely his brother wakes him up after a few minutes), he is then full, but still tired. That is the situation we are in today. He has been awake since 7am. I fed him to sleep at 10.30 but he woke up again after only 20 minutes and has been griping ever since. Every time I pick him up he tries to feed but as soon as he latches on he loses interest because he's not really hungry. The result is he's been fed a little bit about every 45 minutes since 11am, but still hasn't slept. I am just leaving him now in the hope that he will work up a proper appetite.

The problem is I need to go out now. If I put him in the car he will probably scream himself silly (which is not great for me as I am an inexperienced and nervous driver at the best of times) and then go to sleep. Then we will arrive where we're going and I will have to get him out of the car which will wake him up again, and we'll go round again.

attethersend Fri 01-Jul-11 13:53:38

He's not the one at nursery Pretty, that's his brother. I have tried putting him in his cot and leaving him but he just climbs out and then trashes his room.

Both of them are quite capable of screaming full tilt for at least 45 minutes when left to "cry it out". That's the longest I've ever lasted on the rare occasions I've been driven to try it.

prettyone Fri 01-Jul-11 14:07:21

I am sorry for you attethersend. It does get easier!
They sound like determined little boys! And your 6 month old a very good climber!
I wish I could offer you better advice X

RitaMorgan Fri 01-Jul-11 14:11:13

Think she means the 2 year old climbs out!

Have you tried pick-up/put-down? Worked well for us when I stopped feeding to sleep.

bigkidsmademe Fri 01-Jul-11 15:04:07

I second that - in the last month we've moved from sling naps to cot by doing PUPD

bigkidsmademe Fri 01-Jul-11 15:06:20

Sorry, posted early! I combined it with comforting in the cot and then doing gradual withdrawal, it worked very well

attethersend Fri 01-Jul-11 21:08:53

Yes, I did mean the 2 yo climbs out - sorry that wasn't clear. The 5 month old likes to stand up provided someone is there to steady him, but he isn't quite up to climbing yet, thank god.

What is pick-up/put-down? Is it exactly what it says? Problem is he doesn't usually stop shouting when I pick him up, unless I feed him and nless he is asleep, the minute I take him off and attempt to put him down he starts yelling again.

I eventually took him out in the pram today and he slept for 20 minutes, until woken by a pelican-crossing beeper. angry. Then took him out in the car, but he stayed awake until 15 minutes before we got back home and then woke up as soon as we got in.

Finally managed to feed him to sleep after 40 minutes of trying at 8pm. He was up at 7 this morning and had a total of 3 x 15-20 minutes sleep all day sad

bigkidsmademe Fri 01-Jul-11 21:25:44

I think it was originally baby whisperer but I haven't read that clearly so my version might be a bit different. Essentially, we always put him down awake then cuddled, stroked him etc in the cot. If he was quiet we said our sleepy words and hid! As soon as he cried we picked him up but put him down the second he stopped crying. One night DH had to do it about twenty times I think but that was the most. It does involve crying but they are always being cuddled when they cry so it doesn't seem cruel to me. The key is putting then down and not letting them fall asleep on your shoulder!

I can see that if he doesn't stop shouting it might be trickier!

beachavendrea Sat 02-Jul-11 19:17:24

try a dummy again! mine wouldn't take one until he was 5 months but as soon as he did he learnt to self settle.

CornishPiskie Thu 04-Aug-11 22:44:30

I could have written your post! Sorry this thread is a bit old, but was wondering if you have had any break throughs? I have a 2.5yr old son and 4 month old daughter and we have the same problem! My daughter will not nap at home, just screams as soon as i put her down and continues until i either feed her to sleep or pick her up. Trouble is when my son is at home i can't keep him quiet so no hope of naps. I have resorted to tramping the streets with her in the buggy, but can only do this when my son is at nursery and it's not pouring with rain!

My son was the same for the first few months, but i'm sure he was getting better at napping by this stage (he only ever napped for 45mins until he gave up the morning nap at 15 months). I think it's worse with my daughter as i can't stick to any routine, everyday is different because of my son. It's driving me mad, especially at the mo because she is feeding so much in the night due to the heat. I'm shattered, so she must be, but will she nap without me? Not a hope!

There is so little advice on napping-it's assumed that when you put your baby down to nap they will sleep! We have tried leaving her and comforting every 10 mins or so, but she is quite capable of crying for as long as the nap would have been, so i don't see the point as she clearly is not settling herself and i hate hearing her so upset :-(

Maybe i'll try the pick up/put down method and see if it helps...

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