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does anyone know?

(50 Posts)
babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 09:55:51

does anyone know dana obleman way? we are still having some sleep issues at 1 and now we are desperate! i got an email to sign up to receieve help. im not sure of her strategies does anyone know?

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 12:00:04

babyrose thought you might like a look at this thread. The comment on her books being mainly based on crying it out would be enough to put me off.

Sleep deprevation can be horrendous can't it. Is there anything we can help you with? What have you tried so far?

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 12:39:49

its horrible! things are better than what they used to be but the only way we get a reasonable nights sleep is when he is beside us even thats not great!
we have tried shush/pat,singing thats it so far.

im certainly not going with cry it out.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 12:42:13

How old is he? How often does he wake babyrose?

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 13:19:59

he has jusr turned 1. i know this probably doesnt sound bad but once a night then we bring him in beside us. what do you recommend?

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 13:23:08

Does he wake once in the night and then you have him in your room? Is he in your bed or somewhere else in the room. Do you all sleep when he's there? Are you finding this a problem because you aren't sleeping for huge chunks of the night or because you think he should be sleeping through by now?

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 13:32:59

i think the problem is aswell that we live in a one bedroom house (getting 2 bedroom house soon) he sleepis in a cot in the same room as us. when he wakes and we are in bed we bring him in beside us.

i thought he would be sleeping through by now, which he has done a few times

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 13:37:22

Well some babies (and he still is a baby at that age) do sleep through but lots don't. When we were getting stressed with DC1 sleep at about the same age I found this book very helpful.

Although for us having them in the bed with us was the only way that any of us could get some sleep. If you put him in your bed and you all sleep then thats ok surely?

When he's settled in your new house he may sleep anyway.

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 13:51:58

i noticed you recommended this book, ive ordered it fingers crossed! it is a better nights sleep than what it used to be but dh finds that when he comes in after late backshift he gets squashed and he doesnt sleep to well.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 13:53:24

Oh well, when you've got your new house DH can always go and sleep in the other room grin

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 13:55:43

i thought maybe it was something we were doing wrong. will c how we get on with the book.
yeah thats true!

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 14:00:40

Some children are just like that. My Mum is always keen to tell Mums that I was ff and didn't sleep through till I was 4 and my sister was bf and slept through from 6 weeks.

With some babies I don't think its anything to do with how they are fed or anything to do with how you parent them, they just need you and a cuddle to help them sleep. He's so tiny still.

MrsHoolie Wed 15-Jun-11 14:14:47

From my understanding 'cry it out' means to leave the child to cry themselves to sleep and not going in to reassure them.
Controlled crying is a different thing,going in to the child to reassure them every few minutes.

There is something else called 'gradual retreat' which might suit you the best.
Tbh I think all methods require some crying.
I used the Millpond Sleep Clinic book which was really helpful and explains CC and gradual retreat.

I did CC with my son and it worked very quickly.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 14:21:28

Think thats my understanding of CC and CIO too MrsHoodie. Know a few people who used gradual retreat with some success but it might be a bit hard for the OP at the moment in her 1 bedroomed flat.

Think what I was trying to get over in my previous posts is that some people think its a problem just because they think that baby should be sleeping through and every other baby is which simply isn't the case. The baby waking is only a problem if its a problem for you, if you can live with it thats fine.

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 14:25:01

hi Mrshoolie,

how does grual retreat work?

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 14:33:25

babyrose there is some info on it here.

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 14:54:58

that sounds quite good aswell, i suppose different methods work with different babies.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 14:56:15

Thats so true. I know someone with 6 kids, she says that they don't get easier you just know more things to try.

Hope you find something that works for you.

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 14:58:52

6! wow that must be alot of hard work. i appreciate your help, im sure we will find something that suits us all (i hope!)

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 14:59:14

Thought you might also be interested in this. Heard her talk a couple of years ago and it was really interesting.

Apparently when they ask parents if they co-sleep most through up their hands in horror at the thought. When they ask "do you bring the baby into bed if they can't settle or are poorly" most say yes.

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 16:15:21

it all sounds interesting. ive been thinking he has been teething lately, got his first 3 teeth through and another one on the way within a month. he seems really calm and back to his self again today. i hope he sleeps better tonight!

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 16:37:46

It could be teething, you could always try giving him some ibruprofen before bed.

TheRealMBJ Wed 15-Jun-11 16:47:54

Hi babyrose just wanted to come and say that I understand hoe you feel and how tiring it can be. sad

I have found that I have managed much better since my expectations have changed. I read the NCSS (which has helped a little) but mainly accepting the fact that not all babies sleep through (AND that sleeping through is technically only 5 hours) in their own bed at 1yo has made dealing with DS's sleep issues alot easier.

babyrose Wed 15-Jun-11 17:15:34

i gave him some painkillers last night, he kept waking every 30 mins to an hour then slept til 3 then wouldnt sttle til after 5!!

on the very rare occasion he does sleep til 4 sometimes 5, maybe that is his full sleep.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-Jun-11 17:23:09

You must be really tired then. What time does he go to bed and does it help if he goes to bed later? Do you have blackout blinds? Do you ever get a lie in?

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