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How do i get my breastfed/co-sleeping 1year old to sleep?? Advice and success stories please!

(9 Posts)
mammainlove Sat 11-Jun-11 22:48:20

Hi all, I just would like some advice on how to go about getting my nearly 12mo DD to sleep without being fed or taken round the block in her sling. Until recently i loved nursing her to sleep, and then she just stopped falling to sleep this way, and getting hyper/frustrated instead. Her cot mattress is next to our mattress on the floor, and when I've tried putting her down after feeding, and soothing her to sleep (stroking, lying next to her etc) she finds it a game and wrestles lovingly with me, which then turns into her biting me and laughing, then crying, screaming as she is frustrated she's not able to get to sleep, and i keep repeatedly lying her down..

I cant leave her and come back after a few minutes, as she crawls about the room and cries. I cant bare to let her cry, but i will if i know somwthing is going to work eventually. I've read about them going through a development spurt 9-12 months, but i dont know when this will end (?)

Can anyone please advice me how to go about doing this, how long roughly it will take for her to get the message that she CAN get to sleep herself? Thank you x

Grumpygils Sat 11-Jun-11 23:55:50

Time. They grow out of it eventually. Mine have needed parenting to sleep until about school age, but grew out of feeding/rocking during the toddler phase. After that they just needed a cuddle and then gradually let that go too.

1 year olds are still babies.

Sears has a really good book on this topic smile.

mammainlove Sun 12-Jun-11 17:10:46

Wow thanks. Do they really just 'grow out of it'? Do you think i should keep trying to put her down without sling, and going through all the stress and tears?

Grumpygils Sun 12-Jun-11 23:34:57

Honestly, how you decide to go from here is really up to you smile. What feels right in your heart for you and your baby?

They honestly do grow out of it if that's the approach you decide to take. My 18 month old still needs feeding or rocking to sleep, but my 2 older kids don't and both still did at this age. My 4 year old still needs someone to lie down next to her for 5-10 mins in her bed some nights, but definitely not all. 5-10mins for a quiet evening is nothing smile. My 6 year old gets himself to sleep quite happily. None ever left to cry, and none were happy being put onto a surface and stroked etc -like you describe they just got more wound up.

Could it be that now it's summer and lighter she's not so tired so early? What would happen if you got her up for a bit longer and tried again later?

Is there someone else who can try soothing her to sleep? One of mine used to love gentle dancing cuddles with Daddy to his favourite music when they got fed up of bf to sleep smile.

mammainlove Mon 13-Jun-11 16:33:02

Thank you.. How many children do you have?! Supermum smile

To answer your question, sometimes putting her in the sling feels right, but some nights I say to myself 'this just can't continue', when we're walking round the block 3 times in the rain.. My main concern is that the more we do this, the harder it's going to be at establishing a proper routine again, and laying her down awake.

She is definitely tired enough at 8.30, as she gets hyper, yawns and rubs her eyes. Feeding/rocking to sleep doesnt do it unfortunately.

Thanks for your advice xx

onionlove Tue 14-Jun-11 14:45:18

Hi mammainlove
Like Grumpygils I think your instincts are the best and you should have confidence you know what's best. My DH did change what he wanted, I used to BF to sleep until he was about a year old then I think I didn't have enough milk for him and he then started to sleep much better having had cows milk at bedtime, he then grew out of being rocked to sleep and wriggled to be put down. For a few months he went to sleep straight away but now he is messing around, I think it is as it is too light in the evening even with a blackout blind in his room so we now have another issue. Your little one will change and adapt just continue to do a great job that you are doing, when I look back the time is so short.
Onion xxx

BertieBotts Tue 14-Jun-11 14:58:18

DS went through a phase of this at around the same age. Feeding to sleep no longer worked, I was out with the buggy at 2am trying to get him off sad

It lasted around 2 months and then I could feed him to sleep again. I also learnt to differentiate between when he was completely not tired and would be wide awake whatever I tried to do, and when he could be persuaded to sleep by a combination of me pretending to be asleep, or feeding him, and just keeping lying him down every time he got up, even holding him down at points. The worst bit was when he realised he could move (learning to walk etc) but couldn't occupy himself yet. Now he's 2.8 if his sleeping patterns are ever really messed up I can put the stairgate on and let him play in his room (where there's nothing that could hurt him, barring freak accidents) while I lie down in bed with the light off. I can't fall asleep properly until I know he's come into bed, luckily this doesn't take very long now, because I'm more in tune with when he's tired etc.

There is a developmental link with almost learning to walk and a sleep regression. I think DS' sleep troubles were triggered off by that, but most people seem to find their DCs go back to normal when it's over smile

BertieBotts Tue 14-Jun-11 14:59:16

Oh and if she's getting hyper - it could be that she's overtired. Try putting her down at 8 and see what happens? Perhaps with a nice sleepy hour or so beforehand involving bath, stories, etc.

mammainlove Tue 21-Jun-11 22:11:01

This is just getting worse. She now wakes when we bring her home in sling, and has to be taken out up to 3 times in the night! Often resulting in getting to bed at midnight. She's also waking up more for feeds in the night, and is generally a lot more clingy. I'm so fed up! I dont know what my instincts are telling me, i have different feelings about it all every day.. sad

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