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Controlled Crying, yes or no? Help!

(3 Posts)
emma87 Tue 07-Jun-11 21:47:36

Hi, this is the first time ive ever posted but i really need some advice with this.

My son is 8 and a half months old and has never slept through the night. It has been completely exhausting for me and my partner, i feel its a big factor in my postnatal depression that i am being treated for.
For months he was sleeping in our bed, with frequent night feeds and constant cuddles and rocking to get him to sleep, he has never been able to fall asleep without being held and comforted by me.
I have finally managed over the last 2 months to cut out all nightfeeds, and to put him down in his own bed not ours, although he often ends up in with me in the early hours when i am too exhausted to go on trying to settle him back into his own bed.

After many discussions with my Health Visitor and my partner, i had decided i was ready to try controlled crying to teach my son how to settle himself to sleep and hopefully sleep through the night. it has been a difficult decision to make as i was originally against the idea and i felt it was cruel to leave your baby to cry for you and didnt feel it was something i wanted to do.
But now i see it as my only option for us all ever getting any proper sleep. My Health Visitor tells me how it isn't actually cruel it's just a technique that some babies have to learn this way, and i have come round to the idea and finally feel strong enough in myself to give it a go. We decided to start tomorrow.

So i looked online for some advice and came across articles stating how Contolled Crying can in fact damage a babies brain development and create developmental and psychological problems later in life, and i am back to square one and i dont want to do it now!!! but i know how much it could help my family, if it was to work well and we are getting our sleep i feel it would help my recovery from the post natal depression, it would benefit my son to be more rested and to be able to self settle whenevr he needs to, it might even save my relationship!

Sorry to go on but i really don't know what to do now, shall i go ahead with it or not?

Any advice from anyone who has been through this would be much appreciated, thanks in advance x

JudysDreamHorse Tue 07-Jun-11 21:56:39

I'm in a similiar position and really feel for you. I can't bring myself to do controlled crying as I don't think I could stick it out. I recently read this and it hope it helps you make up your mind - it seems quite well balanced. Good luck whatever you try.

emma87 Tue 07-Jun-11 22:28:41

Thank you for that, i found that article extremely helpful! Its helped me with the doubts i regained this evening. Surely controlled crying doesnt damage the babies or like it says, we'd all know about it. Some people just interpret the research in their own way and scare people like me who have really struggled to come to a decision on this. I feel much better about my decision now, and i think i will go ahead with it tomorrow as planned, after all the thought and effort i have put in to this decision i know it is the right choice and the right time for us to do this now, i just hope it is successful. If i still had the doubts in my mind i know i wouldnt be able to see it through. Thanks again for your help, and i hope you find something that works for you, its such a hard thing to deal with.

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