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Help. I need help. Please help me.

(15 Posts)
WeesaD Tue 07-Jun-11 06:25:02

DD2 is almost 6 weeks. DD1 is 6. I am on my own with no family or friends to help me or give me a break.

DD2 will only sleep in my arms or in a pram that is moving - hence I am getting about 3-4 hours in every 24. I domnt; knwow hat to do. When I put her down she just cries.
Its too early for crying it out, isnt it? the shush pat thing seems to work and she sleeps for an hour (although it takes her an hour to go to sleep) and then wakes up and cries. last night a case in point, she was fed (I have tons of milk), winded, dry, and just crying. She was exhausted but just wouldnt sleep.

Please help me, I don't know what to do.

thumbwitch Tue 07-Jun-11 06:46:03

Where does she sleep - in with you? Have you tried co-sleeping if you aren't already? It's possible to do it safely - I did for 5.5m - slept with one arm out above DS's head so there was no way I could roll on him without breaking my shoulder.
Have you tried swaddling her - it works on some babies (not mine, he loathed it, but I know some people swear by it)
Have you got her in a baby sleeping bag thingy? That can work - but I used one on DS when he was much older, more like 6m.

So sad for you - it's really rough at this stage, isn't it. Hope you get some sleep soon.

WeesaD Tue 07-Jun-11 06:48:23

Oh, and I swaddle her, have a bedtime routine every evening of bath, feed in dark, room is blacked out, I have a white noise machine one.

I am trying the co sleeping, but she still snufflles and fidgets and keeps me awake. She does not seem to sleep deeply. The only place she seems to sleep deeply is in bed on my shoulder/cuddled up inmy arm. Should I try to sleep like this every night?

thumbwitch Tue 07-Jun-11 07:09:07

Only if you can guarantee that you won't roll over at any point - if you're a pretty stationary sleeper, it should be ok. Initially I slept on my back with my arm in an L shape around DS - straight above his head and then bent down to cuddle him, but he was still lying on the bed rather than on me, if you can picture what I mean. As he got older, I needed to cuddle him less and could sleep on my side with my arm out straight above his head.

At this stage I'd try anything to get some decent sleep - sleep training for her can come later, much later - but for now, do whatever it takes.

ginmakesitallok Tue 07-Jun-11 07:09:26

I think that there is little point in trying to establish a nighttime routine at 6 weeks - sorry. Sleep when she sleeps and co-sleeping could be your saviour! It WILL get better.

PukeyRag Tue 07-Jun-11 07:16:47

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1230730-SUPPORT-THREAD-Specifically-for-New-Mums-with-clingy-babies

Please read smile I made the thread with people like you in mind.

PukeyRag Tue 07-Jun-11 07:19:24

P.S. My DD sleeps for a long time cuddled up in my arm, so that's how I sleep.

joymaker Tue 07-Jun-11 08:01:29

I second everthing that has been said above. If you are finding it hard going, please don't suffer alone sad. Is there an NCT group that meets near you? I know you must be knackered but it can be so helpful to meet with other mothers at times like these, I know I found this useful.

It is challenging enough in those early days even when you do have family around, by what you have said it sounds as though you are doing a grand job even though it hasn't had the desired result so far.

ChopMonster Tue 07-Jun-11 11:55:03

DS was like this at that age. It took a few weeks of no sleep and numerous sobbing sessions to realise it was the 6 week growth spurt. Co sleeping was the only way to get any sleep at all. Oh and rocking him in his car seat (not advised I know but I was desperate) got him a few naps in the day. I'm really sorry I have no advice but you aren't alone. I would second trying to go to a baby group just for some support. This too shall pass.

matana Tue 07-Jun-11 12:48:39

I slept with my DS on my chest. I was already used to sleeping on my back during later pregnancy so found i stayed in pretty much the same position. I also slept more lightly anyway because i knew he was there and i had to be careful. Doing this stopped me going insane in those early weeks. It also meant i didn't have to get out of bed to feed him!

yawningbear Tue 07-Jun-11 14:57:01

Hi WeesaD, Like you and the other posters above my DD who is now 2.6years would only sleep on me for the first 3-4 months. I used to feed her lying down until she was asleep, wait quite a while and then roll her off me so I could change position. It really was the only way I could get her to sleep for the first wee while. You can also lie on your side, put baby on their side and latch them on with your arm on side that you are feeding above thier head. Then when she has finished feeding you can roll her onto her back and shh/pat her if needs be. Lots more info as to how to co-sleep safely if you google it. As someone else has said any kind of routine or sleep training is for the future, for now you just need to find a way to get some rest. So if I were you I would definitely co-sleep. You can google it and should easily be able to find some photos of mum's co-sleeping in safe positions. Do you have a sling/baby carrier? If she needs to be with you that can really help. I used to bounce on a gym ball whilst DD was in the carrier, it kept her calm and occasionally she would fall asleep. So sorry you are doing all this on your own. And like Chopmonster have also rocked to sleep in car seat, not with DD as would not have thought too as would have been too worried about what I shouldn't do IYSWIM but I do with DS who is 4 months old. Really hope you find a way to get some sleep.

thumbwitch Wed 08-Jun-11 01:14:25

Have you had any better sleep Weesa?

yawningbear Wed 08-Jun-11 08:41:51

Morning Weesa, thinking about you here too, hope you managed to get some rest?

mammainlove Sun 12-Jun-11 08:05:32

She just wants to be close to her mummy. Mine was the same, we still co sleep at one year. Also if you're stressed she will pick up on it, so try to keep calm as much as poss. I know this is easier said than done! Just accept how it is right now, go with it, sleep close to her and know it'll get better soon. X

WeesaD Sat 13-Aug-11 16:57:45

So sorry thumbwitch and yawningbear and everyone else. I was so tired and emotional I forgot to come back here! blush

9 weeks on and what change! She now sleep10-8am! Day time sleeping isnt great but I discovered baby wearing and the slings/wraps have changed our life!!!

I also relaxed a lot about what she should be doing and just went with what works/worked at the time.

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