To those who are still BFeeding...(18 Posts)
...and not using bottles or soothers. How does you DP put your DC to sleep?
I have a 13 month old DS who usually is feed to sleep. He will not take a bottle and DP has found it impossible to put him to sleep (after I have fed him when he has remained awake).
Any ideas will be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance.
Lies down with him/wanders round with him, pats him on the bum, sings a magic song. Doesn't matter what the song is, just that it's theirs and the one the baby associates with Dad putting him to sleep.
PS, that all sounds too delightfully easy - there is wailing, you just have to work through it. Doesn't last too long.
I try not to think about it. It mainly involves lots of crying and calling out 'mama' by all accounts
He does do cuddling and walking though, doesn't leave him to cry!
He never has! ds2 is 19m. I feed him untill he is asleep. If I'm going out I do this first. In July I'm going to see Take That and dh will have to put him to bed then, I predict lots of cries of 'milky' and crying
I did dd's bedtimes until she was 2.4 yrs too.....
Both went/go down for day naps without milk with dh or I. Dh lies on the bed next to ds2.
Rocking. Lots of bum-patting. Lots of effort on my part to put her down awake after a feed (though she still insists on a feed to get sleepy if I'm doing the nap).
I start back at work tomorrow and so DP will be doing bedtimes a few times a week - if any magic fixes become apparent I'll get back to you!
When I first stopped feeding to sleep, DP rocked and cuddled, and then did Pick-Up/Put-Down to get DS to fall asleep without feeding.
Now I do the last feed, DP brushes DS's teeth and then puts him in his cot and reads him a book for 10-15 minutes. DS crawls round his cot playing and eventually lies down. Sometimes he falls asleep while DP is reading, sometimes he leaves him in there awake and he falls asleep on his own.
I still mostly feed to sleep for daytime naps though.
My DS is a bit weird in that for ages he wouldn't fall asleep feeding (only in the middle of the night) so he was walked/rocked/cuddled to sleep by me or DH at bedtime until he was 5.5 months. He used to cry a lot when going to sleep (still does sometimes). We then sleep trained to get him to fall asleep in the cot - basically I put him in there awake at bedtime and cuddled him in the cot/shushed/patted/sang until he fell asleep. He cried a lot, but not much more than he would being rocked on a bad night. The crying rapidly diminished over time and he now goes to sleep in the cot every night at 8m. We still help him by shushing, patting etc, but DH can do this too.
He is still rocked to sleep for naps. Again, DH can do this too, always has, but that was out of necessity because DS stopped feeding to sleep in the daytime at about 3 months.
My DP was able to put him to sleep in the early days by a number of the methods illustrated, but since the age of about 6.5 months DS has refused to be settled and comforted to sleep by him without tears first, which I can't stand particularly before his night's sleep and especially when I know all I have to do is go into the room to put an end to it. I know it probably sounds pretty feeble as it's not even as though DS is being left to cry it out, he is with his dad. Is it our only option to persist?
If DP and I could get through the crying, roughly speaking (as I know all babies are different) how many nights do you think it would take for the cry stage to stop?
It took our DS two or three nights. Maybe an hour of crying the first night then 20 minutes, then 5 mins of fussing. Then nothing. And he is a very persistent crier indeed.
When he was 6 months old, we used a sleep consultant, who advised that I always settle him to break his association of Mummy = milk. This backfired spectacularly as he got used to me putting him to bed so that if DH tried, or went to him in the night, he screamed the place down. He was waking every hour or two at this point so we basically decided we had to reintroduce DH. So DH did bedtime over a weekend and the crying was as I describe above. It worked really well because now DH can often settle DS in the night when he wakes so I don't have to get up every time.
I have a routine for naps/night. When we broke the feed to sleep thing around 4months, dh started putting her down for naps doing exactly what I would with the routine then nights. Most nights he puts her down but if she's teething or unwell (like now) it has to be me, she wants her mum. Only started involving dh as I had to go into hospital and he needed to be able to do this, but I now think its really good for her and him.
Actually this thread has been great, thanks.
DD showed early promise (8 hour stretch of sleep by 3 months) but of course it all went tits up and now at 8 months she's waking 2 or 3 times before 10pm most nights and it's wearing pretty thin. DP works shifts so it's hard to get him on board consistently but if we're ever going to be able to move her in with her brother she has to start sleeping better because they shared a room recently after he'd had an op and she does sometimes disturb him. And two awake children at 2am is not my idea of fun!
I am encouraged
CountBapula and sedgiebaby thank you for sharing your experiences. I think I might just be able to handle two to three nights of DS's 'protests' if in the long run DP will be able to put him to bed too, though I'll definately need a time of mental preparation first
GreenTeapot I'm glad this thread has been useful to you too. Hope you had a good first day back at work and that you have had a call/cry free night so far. Magic fixes always welcome
Hi all, this has been helpful for me to read too, my post would be very similar to parts of PrincessProudMel's post too, except I'm not going to see TT
DH has never settled DS2 to sleep. ds2 is 20m and I feed him before bed but he breaks off just before settling to sleep (been working on this for the past few months). If dh tries to put him to bed then there are lots of cries for 'mama' (the only time he refers to me by name).
Mum is adamant that a couple of nights at her house will
break fix him things, so we're going to go and stay and give it a whirl. We'll not be staying far away in case he hangs in there <<likely>>.
Will continue to watch for clues / tips etc.
DS used to swing DS and play him music.
With DD he used to bore her to sleep by reading her Dickens.
It got to the tage where if he sat her on his knee in a certain way she'd pretend to be asleep so he wouldn't start reading
LaTourEiffel - glad to hear that the thread has been helpful to you as well, it will be interesting to hear what is employed and what happens.
StelthPolarbear -definately some ideas for my DP to try lol!
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