I don't care if this sounds awful

[willowsmyname]

But am beside myself with frustration. 8 month old S (he doesn't deserve the D in front of it this morning) started waking frequently at night and SCREAMING for up to an hour. It doesn't seem to make a difference whether we pick him up or not or if we're in the room with him. Last night I tried to do some CC but cracked at about 5am and brought him into our bed. I'm really miserable because he'd been sleeping through the night and we went through a sleep clinic and several painful weeks to get him to do this. I really thought we were home and dry. He's been poorly in the past couple of weeks but is better now - very perky and spritly in the day. Am confident that he's not still feeling unwell so happy to do CC.

I realise that this may sound like blasphomy to the purer elements of Mumsnet but I'm the sort of person who NEEDS their sleep. I do get really depressed and down without it. I've started to feel really resentful towards him again, something I thought I'd got over once he started sleeping through. Obviously this makes me feel like complete shit as what sort of a mother can I be that resent their baby for just being a baby. I'm clearly missing some sort of chip that makes you love your child no matter what. We had a very difficult start with him being in hospital and critically ill for the first 3 weeks and think this has affected how I feel about him longer term. My friends with babies all talk about when they have another one but at this stage the thought of having another baby makes me feel sick. SOrry about the ramble but I guess my questions are:

• Is there some sort of 8 month sleep regression I don't know about?
  
• Does anyone else resent their baby because they don't sleep or am I completely devoid of maternal instinct?
  
• Should I try CC again? WOrked before

[RoundOrangeHead]

it's hard, but you are going to get blips in sleep patterns even if you're child is a 'perfect' (do they exist) sleeper

teething perhaps? don't know what else to suggest, it's all part and parcel of being a parent I'm afraid

[RoundOrangeHead]

and stop being so hard on yourself, everything feels worse when you're knackered

[TobyLerone]

How come you went to a sleep clinic at 8 months?

[willowsmyname]

Sorry - seem to have posted the same message twice! Bloody computer crashed. We went at 5 months as he was waking about 6 - 7 times a night so sought advice from Millpond clinic.
Roundhead - I know this is all part and parcel of being a parent but I can't seem to handle it therefore am not a very good parent. Thought I would be and am disappoint that I'm not.

[RoundOrangeHead]

aw bless you, I didn't mean to imply that because you weren't handling it you were failing

that first year can be so hard, do you have any support nearby?

[RoundOrangeHead]

I am going to confess to walking out of the house at 4 in the morning when my dd was this age as I couldn't take it anymore, thought I was going to hurt her

[elvisgirl]

Are you sure he hasn't got something wrong with him that only kicks in at night due to lying down? Like an ear infection, sore skin or stomach acid thing? If not, do get it checked, or might be worth just having a general check up with GP. As mentioned teething could be the culprit.

Also, do you get sleep if he is in your bed? If so, is there any reason why you would not do this anyway? It doesn't have to mean they will always sleep in your bed & could be the easiest solution.

Hope you get some relief one way or another.

[ShowOfHands]

Yes their sleep regresses around this age. It will do it again around a year. It's developmental. When they're working on a new skill (at 8 months it's often tied to crawling/standing/cruising/first words ime), they cannot sleep. You find them waking up and not settling in the ways they used to. Often they get themselves into a state because they're more restless when asleep and end up rolling into a corner or climbing onto all fours/standing before they've even come to. It shocks them. They can't self settle and they don't understand why their body is forcing them to be up and awake and practising developmental skills when they're so bloody tired. I think in this you are at one with your child. You're awake. You don't want to be. You're distressed and frustrated and upset. They CANNOT help it. And when they're changing so much in their first year or so, you can expect their sleep patterns to change in this way without rhyme or reason. Especially when you chuck in separation anxiety, teething and normal childhood coughs and colds.

I don't know if it helps to look at it this way but please know that your child isn't doing this to annoy you. He hasn't forgotten how to self settle, he just can't do it. He can't switch off.

I don't have the answers. Largely there's little you can do in terms of stopping a child who is developing normally. Of course you can sleep train but the time it takes to do this probably is the same amount of time it takes for the phase to pass. But I understand you have to feel you're doing something.

The only way I coped with it was to do whatever worked. And to sleep whenever I could. Day. Night. Ask for as much help as is available and sod the housework/being social. Just sleep. If you can't sleep. Rest. The housework will be there tomorrow.

It's so so so so hard. You are NOT a bad mother.

[RoundOrangeHead]

great post SOH, I'd forgotten all the developmental stuff, it's so true

I co-slept as it was the easiest option at the time

[ShowOfHands]

I co-slept too.

[Rosedee]

I don't know what to suggest but just wanted to reassure you you aren't a bad parent for needing sleep and not liking your child when thy interrupt it. I am the same very very grumpy when ds wakes. Don't put yourself down. I'm sorry I can't help. Is he doing anything new like learning to crawl or cruise?

[BagofHolly]

My boy's sleep suddenly deteriorated at this age and I was demented with it. I did the baby whisperer's pick up put down
Method over four nights and it worked, thank goodness! I'm another one who goes crackers without sleep, and currently with 10 week old twins, so I share your pain.
The other thing that's keeping me sane at the moment is we have a night nanny two nights a week. She comes in from midnight till 6 and charges childminder rates. Would that be an option? That was we know we're at least going to get 6 hours solid sleep in a block. Best of luck. X x

[littleomar]

• don't know
  
• YES
  
• don't know