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Controlled Crying can be good ( long)

(6 Posts)
containher Thu 13-Jan-11 18:01:49

I am prepared to be vilified- but I really think that C.C is really the very best and most effective way to solve deep set and prolonged sleeping issues! Yes there are ?gentler? approaches, but in my experience ( of which I have a lot- as a night nanny/maternity nurse/sleep trainer and mummy) they take longer and are more confusing for the child. I would like to give support to all of those who are considering C.C. I have seen a lot of negative comments on here regarding C.C- and I often think that those parents who think it is ?cruel? are really passing judgment without knowing the full facts. They certainly don?t know the individual situations. Some babies don?t respond to baby whisperer techniques, some parents are so sleep deprived, the no cry sleep method will take too long, if it works at all! I know for certain, that some children seem more confused when they receive mixed messages when parents use the ?pick-up-put-down? method. The poor child is relieved to be in mummy?s arms, to then suddenly be put back down- to me that is cruel. Lot?s of the gentler approaches just prolong the agony for both child and parent. Parents are driven to do C.C for a reason, some babies don?t naturally fall into a reasonable sleep pattern, some babies fight sleep, and unless you have experience with a truly difficult sleeper, then it wrong pass comment. It is the aim for the child to give up crying, that is the whole point, you want the child to learn that you won?t jump at every whimper no matter how frequent or loud they protest, during the night . It is my experience that children who have been C.C into a better sleep pattern still have a fantastic bond with their parents. When they ask for attention in the day they get their needs met, they don?t ?give up? during waking hours, parents who are able to and need to use CC as a means of making their and their child?s life a better experience should be reassured that they are ultimately doing what is best for the child, that they are helping the child be more self reliant and get into a better sleep pattern, with the knock on effect that parents are happier and more able to cope with their children and the children are well slept and able to participate in the days activities having had a good nights sleep under their belt. I have seen the effects that CC have had on hundreds of families- over a relatively short period of time ( absolute Max 2 weeks) their whole lives the entire families lives have been improved. The only time CC doesn?t work is when there isn?t absolute consistency and this is when it becomes unfair on the child, as they get mixed messages and the process takes too long-. I am in touch with very many of the clients I have had, and without exception they have all been thrilled with their new found freedom from the grips of a never-ending nightmare! and the children certainly haven?t all become wilting, wall flowers with their personality quashed out of them, In fact to the contrary, parent and child bonds always improve. I agree that this method isn?t for all- I have used other sleep training methods with some clients, and a little tweek of a routine and a few back pats was all it took- but there are many children who don?t respond to these methods, and so for those children and parents, I would like to say that you are doing what is right for you and your child and your family, and to realise that those who pass judgment and pull out the guilt card don?t fully understand what C.C entails as they are likely either be content with their child dominating the night-time hours or they don?t have a child with the severity of the sleep problem that you are experiencing.

ChocolateMoose Thu 13-Jan-11 18:20:04

Containher, what are your opinions on the ages at which CC can/should be used? We had a very positive experience with using CC on our 14 month old as a last resort after spending hours awake with him every night. I think I would find it very hard to do it with a younger baby though (say under 9 or 10 months). I remember someone on MN saying she thought older babies responded better to CC. And do you agree CC should not be used under 6 months?

Memoo Thu 13-Jan-11 18:21:29

I really wanted to read your post but your lack of paragraphs make it impossible, its all just a blur!

fifitot Thu 13-Jan-11 19:18:44

Agree with Memoo.

muslimah28 Thu 13-Jan-11 20:07:43

this is a very odd post imo. why did you feel the need to write an essay on your views on CC? the people who do CC do have a lot of support on MN, as do anti CCers.

you make a number of claims, and rather than write a similarly long essay, i just want to challenge your statement that "The only time CC doesn?t work is when there isn?t absolute consistency"

do you feel that for those children who will literally cry the whole night long-for a few nights not just one- and there have been some on here, that simple consistency is where they went wrong? maybe they give up not because they 'dont have the commitment to be consistent' but rather because they think its cruel for babies to cry the whole night long.

clearly some babies dont cry the whole night, but there are some that do. and for those babies i would contend that CC should not be used. clearly CC would work for any baby if you're willing to pull out all the stops, no matter what it takes, to the very end and who cares what it takes. so you could say its related to consistency. but consistency in what? in the scenario ive described, its consistency in very harsh parenting.

kuniko Thu 13-Jan-11 20:49:14

I have a difficult sleeper. I have been severely sleep deprived but at no point would I consider leaving my little girl to cry on her own in an attempt to train her. She is not an animal.
I'm sorry if this comes accross as harsh but this is just my opinion.
I know that if I did CC my little girl would probably sleep all night long, however, the thought of her 'giving up' trying to get my attention would break my heart.
I gave birth to a child not an inconvenience.

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