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I'm SOOOOO tired

(32 Posts)
Welshmum Mon 01-Sep-03 14:56:35

I'm so fed up of being tired. DD is almost 17 months now and to be fair she's a pretty good girl. Goes to bed at 7pm with no trouble and 'tends' to sleep until 6am. But I just can't bear the unpredictablity of it. Last night she yelled for 30mins at 1am and I have no idea why - eventually settled herself. These sort of nights have had such a weird effect on me. It's as if I can't sleep in case she wakes up. I end up in this kind of alert half sleep, it feels like most of the night but it can't possibly be otherwise I'd be dead. I've got to the point were I'm keeping myself awake through a strange kind of anxiety more often that she keeps me awake. Does ayone else feel like this?

codswallop Mon 01-Sep-03 15:01:00

War plugs are great to give youa sound sleep. When do you go? Apparently women need 7 and a half hrs

codswallop Mon 01-Sep-03 15:01:09

Ear plugs

SamboM Mon 01-Sep-03 15:06:47

No, I keep the monitor by my bed and if she yells for long enough I go down! Otherwise sleep soundly as I know she is safe in her cot.
I do leave books etc in cot so she can read if she wakes up (bless her she's only 1 yr and she "reads" on her own for ages some mornings!)

Welshmum Mon 01-Sep-03 15:16:06

Codswallop - do you mean when do I go to bed? About 10 - sometimes 8.30pm if I've had a bad run of it. I feel so bad just letting her cry - but if I go into her when she's yelling it just makes it worse and she take 3 times as long to settle. I just want to be less anxious - I just can't function at work currently - well nowhere near like I used to.

Mo2 Mon 01-Sep-03 15:21:34

Welshmum - know EXACTLY how you feel - I do the same being 'half alert' sleep thing.

DH & I both work full time, so we take it in turns for being 'on duty' every other night, and then the following morning - DS2 is 12 months.
On the nights I'm 'on duty' I sleep fitfully, wake up and check the clock, check the monitor to hear he's breathing OK (only recently, while he's had a really bad bug/ chesty thing), and usually I wake up about 5.30/ 5.45 waiting for him to wake up at 6 am (which he then does...)
If he does wake up in the middle of the night, I then can't get back to sleep - e.g. last night he was coughing at 3.40, but resettled himself, but then I lay awake until 6 a.m. - miserable

On the nights I'm not on duty, I stick ear plugs in and have a fab nights sleep knowing that I can 'forget' about him for 8 hours.

Have to say, we've turned the monitor lower and lower, so he really has to be screaming to wake us - that way you don't get disturbed by every little cough/ splutter.

Mo2 Mon 01-Sep-03 15:22:44

Welshmum - know EXACTLY how you feel - I do the same being 'half alert' sleep thing.

DH & I both work full time, so we take it in turns for being 'on duty' every other night, and then the following morning - DS2 is 12 months.
On the nights I'm 'on duty' I sleep fitfully, wake up and check the clock, check the monitor to hear he's breathing OK (only recently, while he's had a really bad bug/ chesty thing), and usually I wake up about 5.30/ 5.45 waiting for him to wake up at 6 am (which he then does...)
If he does wake up in the middle of the night, I then can't get back to sleep - e.g. last night he was coughing at 3.40, but resettled himself, but then I lay awake until 6 a.m. - miserable

On the nights I'm not on duty, I stick ear plugs in and have a fab nights sleep knowing that I can 'forget' about him for 8 hours.

Have to say, we've turned the monitor lower and lower, so he really has to be screaming to wake us - that way you don't get disturbed by every little cough/ splutter.

Mo2 Mon 01-Sep-03 15:23:24

Welshmum - know EXACTLY how you feel - I do the same being 'half alert' sleep thing.

DH & I both work full time, so we take it in turns for being 'on duty' every other night, and then the following morning - DS2 is 12 months.
On the nights I'm 'on duty' I sleep fitfully, wake up and check the clock, check the monitor to hear he's breathing OK (only recently, while he's had a really bad bug/ chesty thing), and usually I wake up about 5.30/ 5.45 waiting for him to wake up at 6 am (which he then does...)
If he does wake up in the middle of the night, I then can't get back to sleep - e.g. last night he was coughing at 3.40, but resettled himself, but then I lay awake until 6 a.m. - miserable

On the nights I'm not on duty, I stick ear plugs in and have a fab nights sleep knowing that I can 'forget' about him for 8 hours.

Have to say, we've turned the monitor lower and lower, so he really has to be screaming to wake us - that way you don't get disturbed by every little cough/ splutter.

Mo2 Mon 01-Sep-03 15:28:45

Sorry ..... don't know how that happened - too impatient obviously!!

SamboM Mon 01-Sep-03 15:40:57

Don't know if your monitor, like mine, has 2 settings. 1 that picks up every little sound and 1 that only operates when a big wail goes up. It's useful as you don't get woken by a cough or a sneeze.

Welshmum Mon 01-Sep-03 15:47:29

I don't have a monitor I just leave her door and ours open - she's in the next room. I think this is part of the problem. DH wants her door open as he wants to hear her too - only thing is - he sleeps like a log and I sleep like a very thin twig. I seem to wake at her slightest noise - it's driving me to distraction.

SamboM Mon 01-Sep-03 16:06:44

Maybe you should get a monitor and shut her door?

Or earplugs, and get Dh to kick you when it's your turn to get up and she wakes?

BTW try not having caffeine after lunchtime, it helps you sleep more soundly.

Dahlia Mon 01-Sep-03 16:59:52

Where can you buy earplugs from? I think I should invest.

Janstar Mon 01-Sep-03 17:02:04

A cup of chamomile tea just before bed works very well. But use proper loose chamomile, it's better than the bags. It isn't just that it makes you sleepy, it relaxes all your muscles too, so it helps you not to feel all wound up.

codswallop Mon 01-Sep-03 17:02:38

Ear plugs - Boots. 10pm seems reasonable to me. I think let her cry - she wont remember it in years to ome

elliott Mon 01-Sep-03 17:03:48

Welshmum, I have this problem too - ds is in the next room, both our doors are almost shut and I have one earplug. I have no difficulty hearing him when he cries out! Usually he doesn't require any settling and will go back to sleep within a few minutes - and I've certainly experienced being roused from a very deep sleep by 30 seconds of crying, then spending the next couple of hours desperately trying to get back to sleep. Its incredibly frustrating, and I know I don't sleep nearly as well as I used to. I think somehow you need to try to switch off - she will be fine, you'll hear her if she really needs you - and do try ear plugs - and maybe going to bed earlier? (though I'm dreadful at doing that!)

elliott Mon 01-Sep-03 17:05:58

oh, and I would definitely say no monitor - even on the very lowest setting I find them much too intrusive, can hear every little stirring.

motherinferior Mon 01-Sep-03 17:25:34

I do know just what you mean. It's vile; I think it's the body/mind way of doing self-protection because the alternative is feeling as if someone has slipped a stiletto blade into your brain when the baby wakes you out of deep sleep.

If dh sleeps like a log don't you have the right to shut her door and equalise the situation?

HTH. Hugs. xxxxx

PS have to say ear plugs hurt my ears...

Enid Mon 01-Sep-03 17:28:17

Earplugs, shut the door, small glass of wine and 2 herbal Nytol.

Karen99 Tue 02-Sep-03 17:14:25

Maybe go away for a short weekend and leave the grandparents in charge for one or two nights? Or even leave DH alone one night and spend the night over at mum's? It's amazing what one good nights sleep does for you.. effect lasts a couple of days..

susanb Wed 03-Sep-03 21:08:37

Welshmum

I had this problem for the first couple of years of ds's life. For his first year he was a terrible sleeper and I became the walking dead. He was up every night every couple of hours. When he turned one, he became a fantastic sleeper and still is. However, I became so over tired that even when he was fast asleep I couldn't drift off and would spend most of the night awake anyway. I became more and more tired and turned into an insomniac. I was also suffering with depression and it becomes a vicious circle - the more tired you are the more depressed you become and vice versa. Eventually I went to my GP and he prescribed a VERY low dosage sleeping pill that I was supposed to take for a limited time only. I was very worried about this (as you hear all sorts of stories about becoming addicted) but I was desperate. I'd tried everything else - yoga, herbal remedies, horlicks before bed, relaxation exercises, cutting out caffeine and nothing worked. After taking the tablets, within a few nights I was dropping off and sleeping a lot better. After about 4 months I stopped the tablets completely as my sleeping habits were so much better and 2 years I still sleep 'normally' so for me they worked. I'm not advocating the use of sleeping tablets to everyone but if things get really bad, it might be worth visiting your GP.

Good luck

Ghosty Wed 03-Sep-03 21:30:43

Welshmum ... I know just how you feel. I wish that I could give you a magic solution but I can't. My DS is nearly 4. He was an excellent sleeper until he was 2 and then it all went pear shaped and for the last year and 10 months (he will be 4 in Novermber) I sleep in that semi alert state like you.
He can sleep through for 2 or 3 weeks no problem and then all of a sudden for no reason at all he goes through a phase of calling out for me 2 or 3 times a night (we are going through one of these now). We do rewards (stickers and pressies) if he sleeps through ... but after a few nights of waking I get really cross with him ...I think he is old enough now to know better and I know that he is taking the p***.
Anyway ... just wanted to sympathise ... even when he sleeps through I wake up if he coughs or talks in his sleep ... and then I lie awake ... I also wake up at 5am every day anticipating his waking ... very annoying ...
Wish I knew how to make him sleep all night every night ... ear plugs won't work for me as I will worry that he is distressed and I can't hear him (how ironic is that?) and letting him cry doesn't work as he gets out of bed and comes into our room if I don't respond to him ....
Any other 'magic' cures anyone???

newgirl Thu 04-Sep-03 13:45:45

do you have a lie in every weekend? we take it in turns on sat and sun and its lovely to stay in bed and doze. it is rubbish when its your turn to get up though. i put in ear plugs - the foam ones, else you hear what is going on downstairs and want to investigate! we tried all lying in together but no joy at all with little arms and legs crashing into you. hope you feel better soon

dejags Thu 04-Sep-03 14:16:21

Welshmum,

I had PND after DS was born (he is 2yrs 3 months now). My doctor explained that depression manifests itself in different ways i.e. some people don't have any energy and struggle to do day to day things and other people become overactive which results in a "busy" mind - I have the latter. This "busy" mind is what prevented me from sleeping (was a chronic insomniac after DS was born).

My doctor prescribed a low dose anti-depressant which has the effect of calming the mind down which makes it much easier for me to sleep. I was amazed how quickly they worked and had to have my initial dose lowered because I all wanted to do was sleep after I took the first tablet.

I am now on a 25mg dose which I take every other day and it has worked like a charm.

Maybe something to investigate?

dejags Thu 04-Sep-03 14:20:26

Welshmum,

See here for more information

here

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