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Co-sleep or cot? Help!

(5 Posts)
MrsGravy Sat 08-Jan-11 08:09:01

DD2 is nearly 7 months and used to sleep happily in her cot, settling by herself sometimes in the evening and just waking for a couple of feeds in the night but going back down with no problems. Then she got a very nasty cold/flu type thing and could not be put down day or night for a week. Not surprisingly she's been reluctant to go back in her cot since then - despite being 100% better now.

We all sleep reasonably well when we co-sleep but I have a few issues with it and I was wondering if co-sleepers could either help us with them or whether people could give me suggestions for getting her back in her cot.

So, DD2 is knackered and ready for bed by around 7pm most evenings. She won't sleep downstairs at this point as she seems to need all stimulation cut off in a quiet, dark room. So co-sleeping seems to mean that either DH or I goes to bed with her at 7pm!! I can't be doing with that - how do other co-sleepers deal with this?

When I'm alone overnight with all 3 kids (which is fairly regularly atm) I find it really difficult if one of the older 2 wakes in the night as getting out of bed to see to them invariably wakes the baby. Again, any suggestions for this?

Or, like I say, any suggestions to get her back in the cot would be great!

DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes Sat 08-Jan-11 09:06:03

We co-sleep as well, mainly due to DD (8 mo) being unsettled rather than a desire to do it.
I start her off every night in her cot and (until this week) she's generally lasted a few hours before waking. Once we're in bed and she starts waking up I either gauge how much patience I've got or how well she's going to settle back down. If she doesn't settle easily I get her in with us, if she does I leave her until the next time. My aim is always to get her back into her own bed rather than ours.

She's been a bad sleeper since about 4 months and we've tried lots of different things. I've found myself draped over her in her cot, lying on the floor next to her, shhing and patting until all hours.

This week she's been full of beans until about 9 or 10 o'clock and we've kept her up until I go to bed with her.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I'm trying to get her to nap now to no avail!

km276 Sat 08-Jan-11 14:43:03

Hello, sorry to hijack but I was about to ask for advice on more or less the same thing. My DD is now 7 weeks and co-sleeping (after a moment of weakness/ desperation at 4 weeks on my part)and I've not been ab;e to get her back in her basket since (partly due to lack of willpower and sheer stubborness from her I think. She;s very hit and miss going in there during the day too. I've read the various theories about getting babies settled but am calling on the vast experience of Mumsnetters to help as next week is the week to get tough as DH is on leave from work.
Again sorry MrsGravy about hijacking but I didn't want to duplicate

Any thoughts on whether it's too soon for a routine would also be much appreciated.


DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes Sat 08-Jan-11 21:42:16

Rebecca Scott-Wright's book claims to be able to get a baby into a routine from 8 weeks onwards.

I didn't have DD in any kind of routine until gone 6 months; just did everything on demand instead (I think that's why we're having such problems now though). I've got the book and it makes a lot of sense, although I'm not sure I would have used it when DD was as young as 8 weeks.

breatheslowly Sun 09-Jan-11 21:18:42

I don't know about this older age range, but DD (4 months) happily cosleeps with us. Her cot is attached to our bed so she has her own space at the same level as the bed. I take her to bed at about 6.30 (or whenever she looks ready to drop). I hold her until she is asleep - generally about 10/15 min to be convincingly asleep and slide her over into her cot (already in her grobag). I can generally then leave her alone until we come to bed. I tend to watch TV with the sound off and subtitles on while I am settling her. I absolutely love this arrangement as I never need to get out of bed in the night to do things for her as she is right there. If she is restless then I just shift her over so that she has her head on my arm or shoulder and we both just fall back asleep (I move her back to her cot if I am awake enough to notice). It also means that she never cries at night (touch wood) as I hear her long before she gets to a crying stage. I do have to pretend to be asleep sometimes.

Would your DD be willing to do this or does she notice the moment you leave? I am hoping that at some later date when I don't find I need to pick her up in the night we can put the side back on her cot and then gradually move it away from the bed until she is sleeping on her own.

I don't know anything about routines - so I can't answer that bit. DD has a bit of a pattern to her day, but this emerged from her rather than me imposing anything.

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