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Help!! Getting desperate: how do I stop nights feeds?

(13 Posts)
DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes Sat 11-Dec-10 04:29:59

DD is 7mo and I'm trying to stop feeding at night (on advice of HV and other childcare specialist). Until recently we've been co-sleeping but in order to stop the feeding we've put her back in her own room.

She's going down well enough but still waking at least twice. I'm trying really hard to resist feeding but she just ends up crying for up to an hour and a half before one of us gives in

Any magic wands out there???

DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes Sat 11-Dec-10 07:50:04

BF BTW

seeker Sat 11-Dec-10 07:53:12

Why are you being advised to stop night feeds? Lots of babies are still feeding at night at this age.

MrsPickles Sat 11-Dec-10 07:54:28

Sorry no real help but just to say I am also co-sleeping with my 7 month old and I have just decided to go with the flow for now. She wakes 3-4 times maybe, but I know that this is much less painful if she co-sleeps as I don't really mind rolling over and feeding her half asleep. I couldn't even tell you how many times she fed last night except I know I went to bed to feed her at 12am and then fed her at 4am and 7am. There might have been feeds inbetween those but I didn't really wake up!

With DD1 I was desperate to stop feeding at night at this age, had lots of abortive attempts to stop her, but eventually controlled crying worked at 16 months. I really don't think she was ready before then. I think now is quite a difficult time to try and stop feeding at night as they are going through a lot of developmental stages which disturb their sleep, e.g. starting to crawl.

Sorry, that was really no help was it? What I am trying to say, is I think I would only put yourself through this if co-sleeping is really as horrific as the cry it out, because I think it could take quite a bit more crying before you succeed sad. I expect someone will be along in a minute to say it worked for them at this age in 2 nights or something, but mine had to be a lot older, sorry.

rubyslippers Sat 11-Dec-10 08:09:53

Maybe she is hungry?

When I night weaned I did it over 2 weeks so it was very slow and kept a dreameed until she was 11 months old

I BF and reduced the time of each night feed by a minute every other night

Cold turkey not good imo

foxinsocks Sat 11-Dec-10 08:13:39

Yes I would say that's fairly typical
Mine were both bottlefed at that age so I tried to stagger the feeds so that they had one when they went to bed at 7ish and then one when we went to bed at 11pm ish. That meant there was a greater chance of them making it to the morning.

That 11pm feed took us ages to phase out!

DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes Sat 11-Dec-10 11:40:57

Thanks everyone.

seeker I was advised to stop by the HV because I was told she shouldn't need it hmm
I spoke to the other specialist because we were discussing how to sort her naps out (until this week she has never napped in her cot) and she said that it was importnat not to feed her so she could learn to self settle.

MrsPickles your co-sleeping sounds just like mine. I don't have a problem with it at all and DH wants to carry on with it forever!

Maybe I'll go back to the co-sleeping for now and just focus on the daytime sleeping in the cot.

It's so strange having sleepless nights suddenly when before it was just a case of being vaguely aware of DD feeding!

Thanks again smile

missytequila Sat 11-Dec-10 13:18:21

I weaned my 7 month old from night feeds a few weeks ago. I kept and still do the dream feed at 11pm even though she doesnt take much.

For the feeds in the middle of the night i just stopped offering breast and held/cuddled/rocked her in my arms instead. The first night she screamed for 10 min. on the first waking and less on the second waking. the second night she only screamed for 5 min, third night for 2 minutes...and so on.

A few weeks on she is still waking a lot in the night. Sometimes I have to pick her up for a minute, sometimes I can just shush and pat her tummy to re settle.

Now i am just waiting/praying for her to not wake up at all.....when will that happen??? By the way she is in between co sleeping and not... she does both.

good luck. x

MrsPickles Sat 11-Dec-10 13:29:01

My DDs have always fed more in the night than the day so I think they really did still need the milk at this age. Both only had minimal amounts of milk in the day. I tried to get DD1 to sleep through at 7 months because I thought everyone else's baby was, and I was also advised to do controlled crying by HVs, but I eventually decided to ignore them. We did controlled crying at 16m as I had thrush in my nipples so couldn't feed (and DD1 never took bottles), that did work in 3 days. I think that I don't actually fee DD2 so much in the night as I was DD1 at this stage, but DD1 still needs to sleep close to me and have bodily contact to sleep, so whether I'm feeding or not doesn't actually make that much difference. I think you should ignore HVs etc and do whatever feels easiest for you, and remember they do all sleep through eventually xx

DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes Sat 11-Dec-10 14:37:29

I'm so grateful to you for making me feel better. My new plan is this:

Put her to bed in her own bed as we have been doing this week. Then when she wakes between 10 and 11 as she always does (although it was midnight last night), bring her in to our bed for the rest of the night.

Hopefully that way she won't forget how to fall asleep in her cot but she'll still benefit from a decent nights' sleep. (As will DH and I smile

seeker Sat 11-Dec-10 15:13:29

That's the plan we did with both of ours.

In my opinion, anything which increases crying and sleeplessness for everyone in the family is A Bad Thing. At this age there really is nothing to "sort out" - just go with the flow and ingonre the ought and should sayers!

DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes Sat 11-Dec-10 15:29:45

I like you seeker grin

seeker Sun 12-Dec-10 07:50:12

Sleep well. And remeber all toe lovely cuddle snd baby noises and in particular the smell of theri heads. Mine smell of Jo Malone and Lynx Africa now. Not the same at all!

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