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3.5 yo not settling, waking 2-3 times a night

(4 Posts)
MaryMuddle Tue 07-Dec-10 09:31:53

My three and a half year old has slept like a dream since I sleep-trained him at 6 months (it was quite a gentle training technique where I stayed in the room with him and chanted a key phrase, right next to cot for first three nights, middle of room for next three, by door for next three then bingo by night 10! Naps took a little more sorting but have had 3 years of no problems, except occasionally when he's ill or summat). Until last week. Now he's having bad dreams every night so he's scared to go to bed on his own and wakes up 2 or 3 times a night and either comes to get us or gets into bed. I don't want him to get into the habit of sleeping in our bed (he did til 6 months, but I was single then, there aint enough space for us all in my bed now, and he's all elbows and knees!) as none of us get a decent sleep then.

At the minute we're taking it in turns to sit in the room with him, in the dark, engaging as little as possible, so's he's reassured enough to relax and go to sleep. But even though we explain what's going to happen, he still doesn't like it when he wakes up and we've moved.

Just to take the biscuit he slept at his Gran's with his dad on Sat and went off on his own fine, and slept through 'til morning! How can I teach him to go to sleep on his own at home again?

twinmumma Tue 07-Dec-10 18:01:13

oooh I would love to know. same thing. DS 2 yrs 3 months old. Up until 3 months ago slept like an angel - no probs settling, slept all night - up about 6.30am (from 7.15pm at night)
now - won't settle unless we shhhhh him, wakes at about 11pm and every hour through night for us to shhhh him. Then 4.30am is ready to start the day. have cut out day time naps this week. Hideous.
Has had tooth through and then cold and then sickness. Now fine though. bit snuffly. come to be a habit waking to have me or daddy in the room shhhing.
becoming more and more demanding.... and more and more crabby in the day. At end of tether.
Have tried controlled crying. did it one night for 3 hours 2am - 5am and then gave up cos was soooooooo shattered. I know I shouldn't give up - but just couldn't keep going!
Also control cried him this week for 1.5 hours in the day, before giving up the daytime nap. He would not lie down - despite being so tired that his eyes were rolling back in head.
Tried gradual retreat...we can be outside his door - but EVERY HOUR?!?!?!
He is fine as long as we sit there for 20 mins each time doing shhhhhhhh
he does a little squawk every few mins to check we are there and get a shhhh before he is quiet again.
PLEASE any advice would be welcomed.
And just to say = I feel your pain.

MaryMuddle Thu 09-Dec-10 19:10:19

Ooh, we really need advice from someone who's been through this don't we?! It is just awful. Slept more when he was newborn! Controlled crying won't work for us because my boy's in a bed and just chases you out of the room grabbing legs, trousers, hand, whatever he can get and getting so upset that there's no way he'll get to sleep. Nightmare!

Pharleigh Thu 18-Oct-12 11:07:24

I agree, we need some advice! That's why I'm on this thread! My (just turned) 4 year old son used to sleep perfectly but now he's up at least three times per night and this has been going on for nearly a month! I have got really run down and not able to get over the flu properly due to lack of sleep! Dad has been away on business a lot and I have to admit last week I felt so ill that I gave in and let my son into bed with me rather than keep having to walk him back to his room to settle him. He says he is scared and can't get to sleep when he has woken up. He has recently started at a new nursery and Dad has been away a lot so I understand it's an unsettling period for him but I really need to get some sleep to get better!

Anyone solved sleep problems like this before? Would love to hear from you...

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