Night feeds....quick poll(15 Posts)
When you've fed your baby in the night, and put them back down in their cot, and they start crying, do you
a) get them back up and feed again, in the hope that they conk out, and then try and put them down again
b) try and settle without feeding again (shushing/patting/walking the floor etc)
c) feel so cold and knackered that you put them next to you in your bed so you can at least lie down...
I've started doing c) and although it is lovely having my gorgeous baby (5 months) lieing next to me, it is not a great long-term solution (especially as we also have a DD of 2 years who also ends up in our bed, and it makes me claustrophobic if they are both in there!). But it is so miserable at 3am having to sit there feeding him over and over again, or pacing the floor....
i try b first, a if that fails but have resorted to c if it's the only thing that will work. I don't want to co-sleep really but sometimes in the early hours if it's that or no sleep I have given in. Always say the next day, 'right that's the last time, she's not sleeping with me again'. Not as easy to stick to this at 4am though!
I was doing c) when DD was your LO's age - in fact, we were co-sleeping, pretty much, although she had her own baby mattress.
By 7 months, she was needing me to resettle her with feeding so often I realised I needed do something as it was disrupting her sleep more and more (not to mention mine).
I basically got her to self-settle at bedtime (took a bit of crying, but not too much and she was doing it fine on the third day) and that cut the night wakings dramatically - from 5 minimum to 2.
One of those 2 awakenings usually needs a concerted effort lasting an hour or more to get her resettled, in that case I do a). By the third attempt, she usually gets back off to sleep.
It's still loads better than it used to be and I go to bed quite early, so mostly I don't mind...
Sorry to hijack OP but Inmaculada, how did you get your DD to self-settle at bedtime? I'm trying to do that at the moment but we just seem to end up with DD (5 mo) awake and screaming with overtiredness all evening, until I give in and BF to sleep at about 10pm.
In answer to the original question , I try b first, a if when she properly wakes up and cries and c when all else fails, But nightimes are a disaster in our house.
I basically fed DD until she was sleepy, but made sure she was awake when I put her down. I was lucky because although she cried, it was intermittent protesting rather than anything approaching meltdown screaming. I was poised outside the door ready to go in if she sounded like she was getting properly distressed, but she quietened down before too long.
The first night it took 25 mins, the second 20 mins. The third night, she went down without a protest. For the first couple of nights, I also left her to self-settle when she woke overnight (I was lying quietly in the room with her, she wasn't on her own) and again, the crying was never worse than intermittent protesting. Towards morning, I would feed her.
Previously I'd tried PU/PD and Ssh/pat, but then DD WOULD go into meltdown and the whole thing would last for ages and she and I would both get horribly upset.
It wasn't much fun hearing her crying, but as I said, she never actually got hugely distressed and thankfully, I didn't have to do it again after the second day.
I didn't do it until DD was 7mo - at 5mo I just went with the flow as much as poss.
Now if DD wakes up in the night, I mostly feed her and she usually lets me put her back down (sometimes after a few goes) - although I try and resettle her with only a cuddle if she wakes up before midnight.
It's rare that she protests at bedtime now. Last night for example, she was wide awake when I put her in her cot and she kept sitting herself up, but I left her to it and ten mins later, she was asleep.
It still feels a bit like magic!!
DS2 is nearly 9 months old.
Up until 6 months, I did a.
Then DH did b for any wakings before midnight.
Trying to do more b than a now (depending on how tired and patient I'm feeling!)
DD is 6 months and we were doing b but it's turned into c for the last two weeks - we're both just knackered and it works, she then sleeps through til morning.
We're a bit reluctant to co-sleep as she did use to sleep pretty well in her cot, but I figure it's something we'll tackle another day.
normally a as if ds (20 weeks)) properly cries it generally means he hasn't had a good enough feed. often he grizzles for a few minutes before dropping off. what i find annoying is when he falls asleep after one side and i simply can't persuade him to take the other side - but if i put him down he wakes and cries for more about 5-10 minutes later, just as i've dropped off. i've taken to changing his nappy when that happens, which feels counter-intuitive, but means we get more sleep.
talking of self-settling,for ages i had to feed to sleep every time, sometimes over and over again for hours at a time in the evenings. just in the last week or so he hasn't fallen asleep when feeding, so i've put him down calm and sleepy, and he's fallen asleep of his own accord. not every night, but most nights. so msybe babies just start doing this when they're ready? or maybe he's just finished a growth spurt and needed extra feeds for a bit? i don't know.
I do A if it's before 2am and then C if it's after 2am (it just seems so grim being out of bed at 3am and I get cold!)
DD is 7 months.
c & a mixed - I take her back to bed & feed again. But it's causing me major heartache!
A mix of all, depending on how much stamina I have. Don't really want to do C but get so tired I have no option!
thanks Inmaculada - will keep persevering! It sounds like the key might be to catch her before she nods off on the boob, as I think she's probably already asleep when I put her down, but then she wakes up and refuses to go back to sleep again. It's good to see that lots of people end up doing c!
beancounting - have just posted on the other thread, I am in the same boat! Are you going to try tonight to put her down before she drops off?
Sorry Passionkiss, have just seen your post - my plan (hah! makes me feel more in control to think I have a plan! but in reality I am so shattered I can only cope with one thing at a time) is to spend this week concentrating on getting DD to sleep in her crib rather than in our bed and then work on the Pantley pull-off and the putting down not-quite-asleep thing after that.
So far step one isn't going too badly and so far we've had two nights where she's spent the entire night in her own bed - the bit that was much better was putting her down the minute she came off the breast (asleep) rather than holding her until she was in a deep sleep. She then stirs and semi-wakes up but so far stroking her head and humming has been enough to send her off. Last night didn't go quite so well, she was harder to settle and ended up in with me from about 5.30am, but she had her jabs yesterday so I was feeling more sympathetic!
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