CC not working - any ideas?

[Chunkamatic]

I have been doing CC with DS2 for over 2 weeks now and although his sleep has improved a lot he is still waking some nights once or twice and the crying can last up to an hour.

He is 9.5months, early days we co-slept but that stopped working when he just wanted to feed constantly and would no longer lie next to me, had to be on me. He has been in his own cot since 6mo but up until recently he would feed at least twice (I did CC with him to get him in his cot but felt he was too little not to feed, so started by feeding him in night at 4 hour intervals, if he woke iyswim). Anyway that worked for a short time, but the wakings got more frequent and he started to sometimes want to be held all night/fed all night and wouldn't be put down.

So a couple of weeks ago I stopped feeding him in the night and we have been going in and reassuring. He has slept through the night about half the time but now seems to be stuck.

I feel as if there should be something I could do, but we follow pretty much the same routine for feeding and naps and variations on this have no obvious effect.

I have a dr's appt on saturday just for him to be checked. He is teething at the moment which could be a factor, but giving calpol/teething powders etc makes no obvious difference. I feel like if the doctor can't help him he'll have to help me as I am at my wit's end. My relationship with DP is in tatters because of this and to be honest I don't know if it will recover.

Anyone with any advice ideas etc please help!

[curlyLJ]

Hi, I don't have any solutions, but can offer empathy and support! My DD is 8.5 months and although she was a good sleeper initially, this all went out the window around the 4 month mark - the 4 months sleep regression. She did settle a bit, but now she is doing similar things to what you mention, wanting to be held all night, not going back to sleep etc. We have had some marathon awake for 3 hrs at a time sessions

There is also a 8/9 month sleep regression, so maybe that is what's up with your DS? COme and join us on this thread where we are all sharing similar stories and supporting eachother through the tough times. Angeldog has some great tips for settling etc which can also be found in the thread...

I can also sympathise with the relationship probs as DH and I sometimes seem to do nothing but argue over DD's sleep (or lack of). TBH the way I have found to cope with it at the moment is to just bring her into the bed with us - sometimes DH then goes off to the spare room if he has to be up early for work, but at least we all get some sleep, as opposed to no sleep!

Hope some of that helps! Sometimes it's just nice to know you are not alone

[aliceinlalaland]

chunkamatic just adding to the sympathy! DD is 9 months, a previously good sleeper and now waking up for up to 3 hours at night. Nothing settles her. It's killing me. Tried controlled crying last night for the first time but it took over an hour and a half for her to get back to sleep (with me wide awake throughout going in every 15 mins to pat, shush, stroke etc). Have no idea what to do. DD is also teething and I"m giving DD calpol every night too. DH thinks I should be a lot harder about it and just leave her to cry.

So anyway, I can't offer much advice except to say that I think they do eventually grow out of it, it's just bloody hard work in the meantime.

[Chunkamatic]

Thanks for your replies.

Part of the problem is that DP has a much harder stance on the whole issue, and would just leave him to cry if it was up to him. If I go in and comfort him to sleep then DP thinks this is a massive problem as he thinks DS2 will then always want the same. To be honest in some ways i agree in that DS2 does seem to form habits very quickly. We tried a dummy but within one night that became a worse issue as he was waking every 45mins to have it put back in!

I just feel at a loss... DP won't have him in bed with us so co-sleeping not an option, and anyway as I said whenever I have tried sharing a bed he wont lie next to me, only on me in my arms.

DS1 was a terrible sleeper and in many ways worse, but at 7mths we did CC with him and it worked within 4 days - he has slept really well ever since. I suppose we just assumed that it would be the same this time round.

I wonder is there anyone who has had success with this but it has taken much longer? I don't know how long to persist, what if we are just about to break it and I change tact? DP says we have to do it for a month minimum in order to say we've really given it a go, but i feel like it is destroying me. Silly I know but it makes me feel such a horrible and inadequate mother!

I suppose it just proves there is no magic solution. Thanks again for your sympathy! I hope your problems are soon solved!

[ClimberChick]

Sorry DD (9months next week) has started waking more often. We were every 3 hours and now every 1.5hrs (but I only feed at 3 hrs). She is teething and also probably 9 month regression. Even with calpol etc. they only last 4 hrs, so they're not going to sleep through.

Sympathies and hugs. I'm almost dead at work at times. Especially since teething is affecting feeding which now takes at least 30 mins