Please tell me CC works...(43 Posts)
Hi there. I'm on day 2 of using CC with my 9mo DS. I've followed the rules to the letter but... Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? He is just so bl**dy stubborn it's taking ages for him to drop off to sleep on his own. My resolve is waning today. Will it be worth it and how long can this take? Many thanks for your advice xXX
It didnt work for me because I caved in around day 2, I couldnt do it another night. I know some people think it works really well. I wouldnt bother doing it for subsequent DC as my DD now happily sleeps through the night and has done for months. Sleepless nights is one of those things, when babies want reassurance I now totally disagree with bassically leaving them to scream it out.
Hang in there, it does work (although someone may come along and say it's cruel)
My DS cried for 40 mins on day 1, 20 on day 2 and slept through on day 3. He was 8 mo, and I'd reached the point where I could barely function for tiredness.
Longest I've heard of was 6 days, but most seem to be 3 or 4.
Don't give up, it will do him no lasting harm and a good night's sleep will make you feel a million times better
Yes it worked for us. 50mins the first night (it was awful so DH and I had to be very strong), 15mins on Day 2, 3mins on Day 3 and no crying on Day 4.
I have learnt that sometimes he will still cry when we leave the room but then settles down so we just have to be strong and walk out.
He's been crying for a few hours now after I'd bf'd this morning he was falling asleep so I put him down for a nap and despite huge yawns he just won't give in...
Around 9 months there is a developmental leap which makes sleep training incredibly difficult. Their brains are learning something new and very hard to switch off. Do you notice that sometimes your DC falls asleep more easily than others? I'd give it a bit of time before trying again.
It worked really well for me. Night 3 was the worst, it felt like he was either crying or awake all night, even worse than before CC. It was night 4 that he just about slept through (and 5 and 6 for that matter). Hang on in there. Try to get as much rest as you can today. Do you have someone who could give you respite at the weekend so that you know there's the opportunity for rest in the near future?
Can I just ask which rules everyone followed? Did you go back every x minutes or just let them cry the whole 40 or whatever minutes?
I'm not making any judgements, by the way! just want advice on the best way of doing it! My 9 mo sleeps withs us and is wide awake between 3.30 and 4.30 am. I have to wake up at 5am to go to work and am so sleep deprived that I can't function anymore....
I put DS down then go in after 10 minutes (the very first time I went back after 5 minutes) then 15, then 20, then every 30 minutes.
It's absolutely awful hearing him cry for so long at nap time especially but I had a whole 6 1/2 hours sleep last night instead of the usual 2!!!
Hardest thing I've ever done though...
If you don't go back frequently then it's not controlled, so yes, go back and reassure/pat frequently using your skill and judgement to work out the intervals and whether some visits might make him more distressed and less likely to sleep. Children really do need their sleep, as do you, and the ability to self-settle is a valuable one, but if you aren't seeing any progress after three days it is possible that it's not the right time developmentally, and I wouldn't press on - if it's going to work it will work quickly.
Have you eliminated night feeds already?
i did it with 6mo dd1 as i was returning to work, and was a complete mental and physical wreck
it worked in 3 days, and dd seemed much more cheerful for not being chronically overtired. she is now 3.7 and shows no sign of being psychologically scarred.
we went in to comfort every 2 minutes to start, slowly rising to 10 minutes.
We did it for 14 month old and it did work, with much less crying than I expected. We were advised that it was ok to do 5, 10, 15 min and then stick at every 15 min (unless he sounded like he was starting to doze off). Still haven't done it for naps, except once, which was horrible and I gave in. I'm taking him out in the buggy to get him off to sleep so that it's kept completely separate from his night time routine.
I just popped back every 10 minutes to make sure he wasn't too snotty to breathe or tangled up in the bedding.
The thing that kept me going was the realisation that CC couldn't make the situation any worse.
I was spurred into action by DD coming into me in the morning complaining that I'd not dealt with her nightmare properly. Usually I'd comfort her, take her to the loo and settle her back down.
All I'd actually done was rub her back and said 'never mind, go back to bed' AND I DIDN'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT. I felt really guilty and frightened that the only thing I was capable of responding to was DS's cries.
CC gave me back normality.
It worked for us, I think I would have had a nervous breakdown if we hadn't gone through with it. Did have to get DH to do it though, I was too weak.
You shouldn't really do it for nap times, only night time
Worked for us, dp hated it so we agreed we would give it a week then re-evaluate, he thought he could stand it that long; took a few days but by the end of the week he was a converted CC advocate everyone desperately needed sleep, the person who benefited most though was ds who turned from grumpy baby to happy baby as soon as he was sleeping. He was about 9 mo too.
It worked for my 9mth old dd. she has now been sleeping from 8pm to 6:30/7am every night for the last 3 weeks. She doesn't even cry anymore when we put her down.
It is different for each baby. Some can take only a couple of days and others up to a week. The thing is not to back down, just keep the goal in mind.
This was our schedule for the first three nights:
night 1: you go into room after 1 min of crying, then after 3 minutes, and then every 5 minutes after that for the first night.
night 2: go into room after 3 minutes, then 5 minutes, then every 7 minutes after that.
night 3: go into room after 5 mins, then 7 minutes, then every 9 minutes after that.
As you can see there are increments of 3 minutes. We did not pat her or anything when we went into the room. Just put her back into a lying position and told her we loved her and walked out. The first night that we did this we first gave her a teddy bear and told her that from now she would be sleeping with her new friend etc, that we loved her and were not abandoning her.
Although she now sleeps during the night, the naps are much harder. For the naps during the day she can cry up to 30 mins before settling down. But i have been told by others that the naps during the day are much harder so I am not that worried.
it worked for us - DD went from waking every hour to near enough sleeping through most nights. but she didn't cry for more than 10/15 minutes (total) and it only took two nights so I think we struck a good moment.
but I would definitely agree about not doing it for nap times, especially while you're getting nights sorted. we did the buggy for naps for a week and we still pat/ssh/cuddle her to sleep for naps - but it only takes 5/10 minutes.
I think that if you do it try it for naps, you're meant to give up after you've been trying for as long as the nap should last.
hope you all are sleeping better soon
It worked for our DD when she was a baby; CC helped her learn how to self settle at bedtime very quickly - a skill she still has today at 2.5 yrs old. So worth persevering.
It didn't however work for naps for us so as I decided that night time sleep (which we'd cracked first) was important in the longterm, I did not stress out about CC'ing naps once it was clear it wasn't working after a week. So I simply let her take her naps in the buggy and went on long walks which were always successful.
Thank you for all your advice!
Naps in the pram are definately the way to go while we get night time sorted.
Many thanks once again xXx
It worked for DS1 but not DS2
However, I always put DS1 down awake, so if he fell asleep during a feed, I would nudge him awake before putting him down.
We found that he kept waking at the same times each night for milk but then not wanting milk or breakfast in the morning, so at first I gave him water, then we did the controlled crying, took about 4-5 nights. He is a FAB sleeper unlike his brother!
DS2 never learnt to go to sleep by himself - I would be so tired from having 2 under 2 that if he went to sleep during a feed, I would just put him down asleep. It was harder to be consistant with the controlled crying because of waking DS1. Even now at 17 months, if he wakes in the night (usally) he "has" to have milk to go back to sleep.
So basically we never taught DS2 to self-settle nor carried on the cc long enough, and made a rod for our own backs! <tired mummy emoticion>
I never did cc for naps, I just put them down when they were getting grumpy. DS2 sometimes has 1 nap a day, sometimes 2. DS1 has outgrown his naps but might have one if we have had a busy few days.
The secret to sleeping through the night is the baby being able to self settle IMO. Sometimes CC helps to achieve this but really depends on the child/circumstances
Have you tried anything else? A more gentle method to achieve sleep?
9 months is very little- it's not really recommended at this age- and it is very true that at this age their sleep is compromised by developmental stages. It gets particularly difficult around the time they start walking/talking and it's a physiological thing. They cry because they're frustrated too. They don't know how to manage what's happening to them at that age. Sleep and self settling is very difficult when their brains are working on such huge skills.
Of course cc works. Babies are very clever indeed. They know when they're wasting their time asking for you. They give up fairly quickly.
I just think if you're struggling with it and finding it difficult, it's because something's telling you that leaving your tiny little baby to cry alone is not right.
They're not stubborn, they're babies.
Sorry if you've tried everything else. Thought it worth a quick ask when your baby is still so little.
"I just think if you're struggling with it and finding it difficult, it's because something's telling you that leaving your tiny little baby to cry alone is not right"
Who doesnt find it difficult? It goes against every bone in our body and every maternal/paternal instinct. That's why it's usually a last resort. Just because it's extremely tough it doesnt make it wrong.
I am fairly open minded about parenting choices - what suits one doesnt suit all.
But it is starting to really annoy me when anyone starts a thread asking for constructive advice about cc, the anti cc brigade have to chip in.
FWIW, I did it successfully for my ds1 at 8 mths and dd2 at 6 months. I intend to do it for my dd3 as well once she is on 3 meals a day. Without it, I would never have been able to function at work. But I also recognise that it something some people could never put their children through and I respect that.
PS - I agree stick to cc for nights and not naps as you will end up overlapping with feeding times
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