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Alternatives to letting a 9-month-old cry

(3 Posts)
sproutpudding Sat 20-Nov-10 12:19:41

Hello, I have a lovely DC, my first, with a lovely DH. DH is quite a lot older than me and has some DC from his first marriage who are in their late 20s/early 30s. Thus I am a novice parent and he has experience, the trouble being that he is more 'traditional' in his views about some aspects of child care than I am (in my opinion!).

So, our DC is almost 9 months old. When she was a tiny baby she shared our bed, but as she got bigger this became a bit of a problem and DC slept in a cot pushed up against our bed and with the side down. When she was 6 months old we put the side back up and moved the cot to the wall, a couple of feet away. Then the problems began.

At first all was fine and DC would wake every three hours for a breastfeed and usually we'd fall asleep together. But as she got older, she started waking every two hours. And then every one hour. And then she started yelling when I put her back into the cot and would only stopped when I picked her up. This was a month ago when she was 8 months old. So DH took over the nights and almost instantly everything changed, DC would wake only once or twice the entire night and have a little water or some bottle at about 4:00 am sometimes, there was no yelling and we were all happy. However, DH really needs his sleep, so for the last week I have been getting up and last night DC refused to go back to sleep.

I realise this is probably TMI and I have ordered a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution but I wondered if anyone could help me? When DC won't settle she starts yelling. It seems that she wants to be cuddled, specifically by me. DH says her yelling is just temper and that we must leave her to work it through; I find it almost unbearable and want to comfort her, but as soon as I put her back in her cot it all starts again. Pick up put down doesn't seem to work it just enrages her.

This has only ever happened about three or four times in her entire life, but I am worried that it is harming her (admittedly, she is always fine the next day) although we are always there and she knows it. Am I being PFB? Does anyone have any ideas which might help us?

(Sorry this is so long but I thought all the background was important.)smile

AngelDog Sat 20-Nov-10 14:49:59

8/9 months is tough as there are 2 big developmental leaps which cause the 8/9 month sleep regression.

More info here, here and here.

There's often separation anxiety going on at this age too which may be why she wants to be cuddling you. I don't think that letting her yell is the answer.

How does she nap? Often insufficient daytime sleep can lead to babies finding it harder to settle at night, and waking more frequently.

sproutpudding Sat 20-Nov-10 15:33:38

Oh dear, now I feel dreadful! Poor little girl. She is teething at the moment which I thought was why she woke up originally, so changed her nappy, offered her water etc. and gave her some baby paracetemol and bonjela before cuddling her almost to sleep. But each time she'd start thrashing about in her cot, wake herself up and start roaring.

She always used to be rubbish at sleeping during the day but since DH started getting up for her and her night-time sleep improved, it's been amazing, she gets usually about 3 hours a day in 2 or 3 naps. Today she slept for half an hour this morning and then over 2 hours in the middle of the day, and is sprightly.

I was hoping that we'd avoided the worst of the separation anxiety - she is fine during the day and doesn't mind me or DH popping out of the room for a few minutes now and leaving her on her own.

Will go and read the links you provided. Thank you very very much!

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