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Please please help - what the hell is going on with 8m DD's nighttime sleep??

(9 Posts)
curlyLJ Sun 14-Nov-10 17:20:03

DD is 8m tomorrow and her sleep is going from bad to worse. A few weeks ago we had a few blissful nights with only 1 waking for a feed, now we are back to at least 3 wakings, but that's not the worst part...

She is going down no problem (or minimal problems) at bedtime and will sleep for about 2-3 hrs, but she then wakes up and stays awake for mammoth periods and just will not go back to sleep. This has been going on for 2 weeks now and I can't cope. It can (and has done for the last 2 nights) go on for up to 3.5hrs no matter what I do confused. Sometimes she appears to have gone back to sleep and just when I get back into bed, she starts all over again hmm

Last night DH insisted suggested that we let her cry a bit. He wanted to let her cry it out, but I was only happy to do 'return and check' or whatever you call it, it still involved listening to her crying/yelling/screaming which I didn't really want to do, but tried as a last resort for some chance of a decent sleep.

Every time I went it she was up on her arms and had turned herself around in the cot and 1.5 hrs later and she was still going at it.
I picked her up to put her back into position in the cot she clung to me like never before, like she was really very distressed/upset - which made me think that this just wasn't the approach to take...so I gave in and fed her (it was time for a feed by then anyway).

DH then just left me to it as he had to be up early, so he took himself off to the spare room and closed the door angry while I dealt with her. She did go back to sleep afterwards with a bit of patting, but had probably worn herself out anyway with all the crying.

Has anyone got any suggestions as I can't cope with another night of this. I am tired and tearful all the time. DH is sick of me going on about DD's sleep issues (even tho the CC didn't work, thinks it was the right way to go). We are bickering/arguing all the time and it's causing a real problem in our relationship. sad

Can anyone help??? Please???

stinkypants Sun 14-Nov-10 20:29:55

oh i do feel for you. it's so hard. if you're really against the cc (i am afraid i was one of those terrible mothers who did CIO), you could try the baby whisperer approach of pick up/put down. the bottom line is that she needs to learn to sleep through with9ut any help or props. i'm fairly sure that by 8m she shouldnt need any feeds in the night if she has plenty in the day. the way we weaned off night feeds (breast fed) was to gradually eliminate alternate feeds, as he got into as habit of waking every hour and i gave in, but at around 7 or 8 months i started to ignore a bit and let him settle himslef, then at the next waking i'd let him have 5 min feed then leave to cry etc. it worked over a bout a month and since then he has slept through. i honestly dont think there is any way that doesn not involve listening to some crying. but one way of looking at it is that you are being kind in the long run bvecuase these wakeful nights are no good for her and she needs a decent night's sleep. i'm ready for the barage of peoplewho disagree with me. (: good luck whatever you decide though.

Jacinda Sun 14-Nov-10 22:12:39

The only thing that worked for us was not to let him become fully awake - he got his feed if he stirred (he was in a bedside cot) or, at around 15 months, when he dropped his night feeds - reasurring noises and patting whenever I heard any noises.
If for some reason I didn't react immediately, I could write off the next three hours.

curlyLJ Tue 16-Nov-10 10:58:54

Last night was horrendous - woke at 2.30am and didn't go back to sleep (well for anything longer than 15mins) until 7.15 confused

I do think she still needs night feeds, and am happy to continue with these as she only wakes once or twice, it's the not going back to sleep that's the killer.

Please tell me it will pass soon!

jerryg Tue 16-Nov-10 19:21:23

Is she learning something new? I'm getting the same thing with the hours awake in the night thing, but he's waking up to practise crawling! I also can't get him to sleep much in the day either. Read a bit about it and apparently once its learnt he'll sleep loads to catch up...looking forward to that!

valbona Tue 16-Nov-10 19:33:46

my DD (9 months) is doing this at the moment - long mental hysterical mammoth sessions that defy all normal attempts to settle. she is desperately trying to go to sleep, wakes bolt upright again after 5 mins and leaps to her feet. she'll do it for a night or two then sleep 7 til 7 for a night or two. ODD.

we've never really co-slept - apart from accidentally in the early days, but I have found it's the only thing. eg last night after an hour of failing to settle her I put her next to me, patted her and sshed her when she gulped and hiccuped awake and after 15 she was soudn asleep and slept from midnight to 7.

re your DH - we did CC at 7 months to stop her waking every hour. it worked with only 10 mins of crying and I was sure it was the right thing to do - then. would NOT do it at the moment as she is clearly really upset - different from just not sleeping. you could make that point?

I feel your pain and hope you have a better night. it will change, it always does ...

Igglybuff Tue 16-Nov-10 19:37:52

sounds like a developmental leap, possibly separation anxiety too. I remember DS going through this at a similar age. Leaving him to sort himself out did not work.

He couldn't relax so I'd basically I'd go as soon as he woke, feed then cuddle or rock to sleep. I set up a comfy chair in his room so could sit with him and doze off.It did pass, I promise.

Check her gums too - could it be teeth?

Igglybuff Tue 16-Nov-10 19:38:50

When I say sit with him, I'd let him sleep on me on the chair.

lola0109 Wed 17-Nov-10 13:50:34

I'm going through something really similar with DD2, would only wake once, needed settled and back down again but past couple of weeks have been awful.

We've been relenting at about 3am and bringing her in with us as she was waking DD1 as they are in the same room. This was after an awful lot of crying as DD1 can sleep through all whimpers and a certain level of crying.

The past 3 nights she has been awake from about midnight and nothing seems to be appeasing her! 2 nights ago I actually moved DD1 into our bed and slept in her bed with DD2 as she was waking every 15 minutes.

She's been crawling for over a month now so not sure its that!

Sorry i've no advice but hoping someone will come along with something!

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