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Oh God I am trying to do PUPD as advised by HV and I hate it already - I'm panicking!!

(39 Posts)
PassionKiss Fri 12-Nov-10 20:37:50

DD is 6.5 months - I can't go on having her wake every 40mins - 1 hour for BF. Dh and I are soooo tired.

She is crying right now - I hate it sad

I'm just going to go in and pick her up but I know she will root for boob.

Have no confidence this will work!! Will it work??

PassionKiss Fri 12-Nov-10 20:45:07

Ok - it's not going to work . . . I feel sick. She just screams as soon as I put her down again and she's desperate for boob. sad

I promised DH I'd give it a go.

Guacamole Fri 12-Nov-10 20:46:26

Uuuummm honestly, I don't know if it'll work... I gave up, I couldn't do it. DS is 7 months and I feed to sleep, luckily he only wakes every 2-3 hours ish and I can literally pop him on the boob and he's asleep in 2 mins. I decided that was far easier than 50mins of screaming and pupd.

thelennox Fri 12-Nov-10 20:47:25

Sorry help what zis pup?

thelennox Fri 12-Nov-10 20:48:15

I mean what is pupd? Spell check on iPad!

PassionKiss Fri 12-Nov-10 20:49:15

If it was every 2 hours it would be fine but she just can't seem to settle.

Feeds seem to go on for ages as well.

HV assured me that she couldn't be hungry every hour.

Borisismyhousespider Fri 12-Nov-10 20:52:08

When did you last feed her? ie has she had her bedtime feed? if so, go in, reassure her your there, and leave again, go back in 10 (it may seem like the longest 10 min of your life) or send in dh, same again, stick with it, it does work and you all are a lot saner for it {{{hugs}}} if she's begging you for food when she doesn't need it, try giving her the crook of your little finger to suck on a bit instead, I used to use this to determine if mine we're really starving or not. HTH's.

sheeplikessleep Fri 12-Nov-10 20:53:09

PassionKiss. We didn't do PUPD, but we did similar.

Ds2 was 7 months and waking every 2 hours (not as bad as yours, but still very tiring).

We made a pact that after his 7pm feed, we (I!) wouldn't feed him until midnight.

So at 10, DH went in and spent an hour and a quarter with DS2 crying. DH rocked/cuddled/sung and comforted DS2, whilst I sat in the next room, crying myself.

BUT, the following night, it took 20 minutes to settle him. Now it takes about 5 minutes, sometimes DH just pats his back in the cot, doesn't even pick him up. Sometimes DS2 sleeps through until 2am.

He still wakes quite a lot from 2am, but we're slowly getting there.

So not PUPD, but another thought really.

Good luck.

quietlysuggests Fri 12-Nov-10 20:55:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

quietlysuggests Fri 12-Nov-10 20:57:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PassionKiss Fri 12-Nov-10 21:06:17

I'm really sorry - I shouldn't have started this thread tonight. I have just fed her back to sleep- my attempt lasted 20 mins.

She was screaming - I cried.

OMG - she's just started crying AGAIN!

DH is at work

thisisyesterday Fri 12-Nov-10 21:08:07

if you hate it don't do it!
ok, something needs to change. that's fine. but if it is making both of you this upset then you can find another way.

we used the no-cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley which worked well
it isn't a quick fix tho! it basically works on changing your baby's sleep cues and introducing new ones to allow her to settle to sleep happily (hence the title )

it's def worth a read IMO

sheeplikessleep Fri 12-Nov-10 21:11:31

PassionKiss - just write off tonight as a bad night. There will be better nights. When will your DH be home?

I also read somewhere that how they get to sleep at 7pm (or whenever) affects how many times they wake in the night. I.e. if they fall asleep by themselves then, they are less likely to have frequent wakings.

Baby baby steps. Try tomorrow night putting your DD down when she is pretty much asleep, but not quite.

Don't stress, things will improve and the amount of crying will reduce. Work out what you are comfortable or not comfortable with. If you don't agree with the method you opt for, it won't work. Personally, I didn't want DS to be alone whilst he cried, so we decided we would do everything we could possibly do (other than feeding) to get him close to asleep before putting him down in his cot. You need to decide what approach you are comfortable with. They all take time.

Scaredycat3000 Fri 12-Nov-10 21:14:11

It's really hard when they don't sleep, and really hard to leave them crying. I have no advice, just, you're not alone smile

fifitot Fri 12-Nov-10 21:17:07

I have been reading ALOT about baby sleep at the moment due my DS and his night wakenings.

Don't forget your LO is crying because they are angry that you aren't giving them what they want. If you are going in and comforting then they know you are there so you are not abandoning them.

One thing I did read today which I found helpful (though not everyone will agree) is that you MAY be upsetting baby in the short term but in the longer term they will GAIN from having a good sleep and rested parents. Try and hold onto that.

I know I am going to face similar problems as you soon but LO only 4m so hanging on until 6. Sooooooooooo tired so sympathise.

I will confess that with DD (now 4) I got to the end of my tether with her wakings and plentiful nightfeeds and tried everything to no avail. One night I was just so desperate I left her to cry. I took the monitor with the sound off and only the lights on into the kitchen where I couldn't hear her and sat it out. She cried for 45 minutes. I felt like the worst mother in the world but I was truly exhausted and didn't have any more energy to keep feeding her every hour or so. The next night she cried for 10 mins. After that she pretty much slept through.

Don't feel bad. You are doing your best.

PassionKiss Fri 12-Nov-10 21:22:24

Well - I just tried again and she did drop off with me rocking her. confused

Hmm - so she can go to sleep without boob.

Thanks for advice and sympathy everyone! Like the idea of not letting her fall asleep on the boob at 7pm which is what I usually do. I might order the no cry sleep solution.

Her sleep has just been getting worse and worse which is why I know I need to toughen up a bit!! It's so hard when you're knackered though.

sheeplikessleep Fri 12-Nov-10 21:29:21

It's bloody hard when you're knackered, it's such a vicious circle.

Least she went to sleep without the boob - first achievement! Good on you!

I personally found the 7pm one the easiest. DS is always sleepy then, I make sure he has protein at tea time and a big BF (just so I can convince myself my rolls of fat baby is getting enough and isn't hungry smile)! He is so sleepy, the trick is getting him before he falls asleep to be honest. Its the wake ups at 3am onwards where he is quite awake and more difficult to settle.

PassionKiss Fri 12-Nov-10 21:30:35

fifitot - that's it, I just don't have the energy to keep feeding her hourly (have never got the hang of feeding lying down). Thanks for sharing your experience - good luck with your DS smile

sheeplikessleep Fri 12-Nov-10 21:31:01

Fifitot - when you did that with your DD, and she cried for 45 minutes, was that at her first waking? Did she wake again that night?

PassionKiss Fri 12-Nov-10 21:34:41

sheeplikesleep grin - I don't know why I'm worried about this one being hungry, she's a little fattie and has three meals a day plus many BFs!

sheeplikessleep Fri 12-Nov-10 21:40:15

i know passionkiss - i'm the same.

ds2 has rolls on fat on his legs, but still that voice in my head at 3 in the morning whispers to me 'are you sure he isn't waking and crying because he is hungry?'

i hope your dd sleeps better soon.

sheeplikessleep Fri 12-Nov-10 21:42:06

you could try only feeding her every other wake up? see if that reduces the number of wakenings?

quietlysuggests Fri 12-Nov-10 23:42:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fifitot Sat 13-Nov-10 08:46:08

sheepslikesleep - she cried again at her usual second waking but only for about 10mins and then didn't wake again that night.

thisisyesterday Sat 13-Nov-10 08:50:00

um, just because a baby is chubby does not mean they can';t be hungry confused

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