15 mo scared of her cot? Any advice?

[deepheat]

Hiya. Our little girl has never been an amazing sleeper but has also never been really bad either. We have nights where she sleeps through and nights that are very disrupted.

In the last week though, things have been different. She has always been fairly easy to put down, even if she goes on to not sleep well but she now screams whenever we start to put her in her cot. This happens at night and for her daytime sleep as well. The last week she has basically got about 50% of the sleep that she would normally have (most days it is impossible to put her down for a nap). This is obviously difficult because of a lack of sleep but also distressing, because nothing has really changed in the last week so why she has developed this sudden fear (if that's what it is), we don't know.

In addition, my wife is 3 months pregnant and really struggling with morning sickness - the lack of rest is making this alot worse. I'm doing my best to deal with things in the night but sometimes she just wants Mummy and there's nothing I can do beyond look after my wife. (Apologies - not sure if blokes are welcome here or not!)

Can anyone offer any suggestions, experience or ideas? We're running out. I realise one bad week isn't the end of the world, and there will be many here who have experienced worse, but any help would be appreciated.

[skandi1]

hi and welcome! blokes are welcome here too.

your post is very intersting. i have a 14 month old dd who last week suddenly started howling whenever she was put in her cot for naps or bedtime.

my dd has alway been a top sleeper and settled herself from an early age and slep thru from 5 months. all this time we have literally not heard from her at night. until last week....

cue screaming and screaming. my dh couldnt settle her and i had to literally rock her to sleep in my arms.

this has been going on for a week now and i think i am slowly going nuts. she will only settle for me and i have to hold her standing up rocking her like a tiny baby (not easy as she is a pretty big girl).

i asked friend today with 15 month old dd and guess what.... her dd ha started the same thing 2 weeks ago. argh.

i think its developmental and a stage they go thru. i think it may be a next stage of seperation anxiety. not totally sure yet but am reading books and googling (in between the howling).

hoping there will be some ideas here for us all.

just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

x

[deepheat]

Cheers for that. Our inkling is that it is developmental and its nice to hear that people are experiencing the same at a similar age (though obviously not nice for them to experience it). Last night was actually a great deal better. Still some v. loud screams but they had died down before I had a chance to get in her room. Hopefully means that this may be drawing to a close. Fingers crossed as ever, and all the best to you as well. Never the nicest time.

[mrsjuan]

DD has started doing this at a similar age. I have always rocked her to sleep but used to be able to put her down fairly easily even if she wasn't quite asleep but recently she has been screaming and going rigid as soon as I start to lower her into her cot.

She's also been waking up screaming at about 4am but settles if we bring her into our bed (which I do far too quickly because we all need our sleep!)

I'm sure it's just a separation anxiety phase and won't last too long

[skandi1]

Its actually nice to hear others are going thru this with their LOs at this age.

It makes me more confident in dealing with it and that it is one of those odd developmental things.

My DH spoke to a colleague today who has an 18 month old girl and guess what, she did exactly the same thing at this age.

I saw my neighbour this morning and her 20 month old did the same thing when he was 14 months too. She did cry down.

Their solution was to go for cry down (obviously with the 10min intervals of reassurance) and after a week it stopped and there has been no trouble after that.

I managed to get DD down for lunch nap today without any rocking or howling.

I spent quite a long time preparing her for the nap (as in saying: "its almost naptime - after you finish your lunch its nap time") and spent a few minutes in the room with her before putting her in her cot. I also gave her, her favourite comforter before sitting her in the cot (as opposed to laying her down) and she was perfectly happy. Played with comforters for a short while before going to sleep.

This evening again I tried same tactic but this time she was less willing/happy as DH had just returned home.

She did starting howling (and I mean howling not crying as there are no tears - indicating a fuss perhaps?). But within 15 mins and 2 reassurance visits by DH (patting shushing) and she gave up and is now sleeping.

As awful as the howling is, a bit of it may be necessary. I would not have done this when she was younger but easy for me to say as she has always been a superb sleeper and great at settling.

deepheat, to help your DW, who is probably too hormornal to deal with cry-down, could you perhaps suggest your DW goes out for a couple of hours every night for the next few nights while you do the cry down? Thats if you are thinking of doing that.

Don't know what else to suggest and I have yet to hear of anyone else coming up with a better idea.

Anyone??

[deepheat]

skandi - thanks for your post. Sadly DW (darling wife?) isn't generally feeling well enough to go out in the evenings so not really an option. Always make sure she has time to get out with friends when she's up to it. We don't do cry down either, basically because neither of us manage it well and the initial settling has never been much of a problem before - we kinda figure if we start letting her wail now after 15 months it could make things worse rather than better.

We've started to slightly ignore her usual bedtime and basically focus on making sure she has a nice fun time before bed. We're giving her more time to play around her cot before a story as well. I think these things are helping. At the time of writing she hasn't yet woken since 7, so along with a decent night last night we're hoping that things may be looking up.

Never thought about the difference between howling and crying before - interesting. Cheers.

Hope all goes well with your little'un tonight. All the best.

[skandi1]

hi deepheat.

no howling tonight at all!

as we left her room after settling her, she called out and i thought she was going to start so i answered her call by saying goodnight its sleepy time.

she did play with her comforters for over an hour before going to sleep but that is absolutely fine.

she hasnt cried at lunchtimes either for 2 days now so worst may be over.

know what you mean about crydown. if there had been actual proper tears from dd, i would not have left her for a minute but pretend howling with stopping every 2 minutes to listen for steps on stair/us, is total faking and i didnt have an issue with it. obviously we only left her 10mins at a time before checking on her nd reassurring her.

sorry your dw doesnt feel well enough to go out and let you do bedtime for even 1 night.

hope it resolves itself soon with your dd.