Right MNHQ, I'm looking at you.

[ShowOfHands]

You know what I want. Enough with the delayed gratification.

I will not be moved. I have a banner.

Do it.

[HelenMumsnet]

Erm, what does your banner say, ShowOfHands?

[HelenMumsnet]

And the rest of you can move along, please.

No secondary picketing here...

[Rhubarb]

MY banner says 'UP WITH WILLIES!'

Can I have it on Mumsnet please?

[MerlinsBeard]

[ShowOfHands]

Multiple tech issues coming along nicely acksherley. Although I did find another one the other day. Just a tiny one. I won't mention it if you respond appropriately to my banner.

It's green, I weaved woved wovd knitted it myself from hemp. The writing is stylised, almost beautiful. I've included some tasteful illustrations. It's a work of art. Are you picturing it, are you?

It says...

WHERE THE FRIG IS MY FRIDAY NIGHT TOPIC

I did as Gerry told me to. I started a thread, I garnered opinion. We all agreed, it's necessary. Justine placated me with a promise of a MNHQ vote when you were quorate (a democracy, who knew?).

Still, no topic.

I'm about to start singing and/or chucking myself under a horse.

I'll take the best posters with me. You've been warned.

[Flamesparrow]

what's a friday night topic?

[ShowOfHands]

It's called taking one for the team.

Do it MNHQ.

[Rhubarb]

I quite like willies, I think there should be more of them. You never see them on Mumsnet do you?

If I don't get my willy banner I shall be asking all future guests what their favourite kind of cock is.

[HelenMumsnet]

We won't be intimidated by singing and puerile sloganising

We will enter into negotiations with your leader, ShowOfHands, in good faith.

We're sure we share the continued success of Mumsnet as our mutual aim in this matter.

[ShowOfHands]

A sex topic.

Because I think the 'threesome' and 'lube' threads sit incongruously alongside divorce and domestic violence in relationships, which has become a bit of a catch all. I also know there are several posters who don't want to see bumsex in active convos and if it was in a separate topic you could hide it without losing 'relationships'.

It makes sense.

[differentID]

this is quite a nice cock, if you want to get the ball rolling, rhubarb?

[ShowOfHands]

Yes continued success blah blah. I want my topic and at this stage in proceedings, I'm pressing for cocks too. Rhubarb makes an important point. I've set out my terms, what have you got?

[Hullygully]

But what if you have a domestic threesome with lube and bumsex? Where would that one go? I demand a crossover category.

[NoahAndTheWhale]

[Flamesparrow]

Hmmm...

Then relationships gets bloody depressing reading

[ShowOfHands]

There's a cock in my garden atm. It's all puffed up with the cold weather.

[differentID]

so you could hide relationships and just keep Friday Night topic visible flame?

[Flamesparrow]

A fine plan! Actually relationships is already hidden.

It was because of that bloody topic that I got convinced DH was sleeping with the woman at work . I have now learnt... never ask many women for advice on men.

[ShowOfHands]

Lenin, give a toss go on. Up the proletariat or something, but not proletariat, something else where we're educated and not in overalls. The brass band's a coming.

Hully is also right. We need some kind of virtual venn diagram thing going on.

And relationships won't get boring with all the 'my MIL has stolen my baby and rechristened it Bumbo, should I have a word or get dh to do it' crap.

I think AIBU is the root of a lot of problems atm. It's stealing the best threads from other topics.

[Hullygully]

(Flame - I have noticed that. You get a simple, 'Why won't he pick up his socks?' And within 10 posts he's having raving dogging bumsex with the lollipop lady)

[HelenMumsnet]

Have you considered that a more visible sex topic might attract more pervy weirdos Friday night newbies?