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Why was this thread moved?

(14 Posts)
Deemented Sat 05-Sep-09 15:52:43

A poster posted a thread in AIBU about how upset she felt that people didn't value their children enough. It later transpired that the OP had had a child that had died.

A lot of people decided this made them feel uncomfortable and reported the post. The post was then removed and put into the bereavement thread.

Now, i'm damn sure that the OP chose to post in AIBU for a reason, and it wasn't so that it could be moved to bereavement.

Surely if MNHQ moved everything from AIBU into relevent catergories, then AIBU would be empty.

So MNHQ - why not do this for most of the threads on AIBU, or is it just the threads about dead children that make you feel uncomfortable?

alwayslookingforanswers Sat 05-Sep-09 15:54:17

I think the OP herself admitted that she was having a particularly crap day and was perhaps taking her anger out on the wrong people. But not entirely certain as didn't keep up with it.

BitOfFun Sat 05-Sep-09 16:05:58

I think it has been moved for the kindest of reasons- to allow the poster to get some real support in the appropriate place, and not leave the thread open to johnny come latelies to pile in and say she is unreasonable. It is hardly an offensive action by MNHQ, and quite possibly was even requested by the OP.

Deemented Sat 05-Sep-09 16:37:53

Fair enough if the OP requested it to be moved... but an explaination would be nice.

Deemented Sat 05-Sep-09 19:44:17

I 'spose an answers out of the question then?

2shoes Sat 05-Sep-09 21:38:20

i an really p%%%% that it has been moved, it was an AIBU thread, it is out of place in bereavement and make people look mean.
wouldn't it have been better to delete it.

CatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 06-Sep-09 11:07:32

Hi all, there were a number of members who reported the thread requesting that it be moved from AIBU out of respect for the OP. We made the decision to comply. Perhaps it was the wrong one but those requests were made with the very best of intentions.

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 06-Sep-09 11:09:02

Yes you're probably right Deemented - it shouldn't have been moved - was done with best intentions - someone wrote in saying that the poor OP would get a less adversarial response if the thread was in the bereavement topic and I imagine the duty person concurred but it we probably shouldn't move things like this around unless the OP requests it really - just causes too much confusion.

Sorry we'll not do again (unless it's merely for good housekeeping purposes).

bigchris Sun 06-Sep-09 11:10:20

agree with MNHQ and tbh I find the last sentence of the OP really distasteful

LedodgyDailyMailstinksofpoo Sun 06-Sep-09 11:13:07

I thought it was strange it was moved too but mainly because I was reading it wondering why the hell people were telling the poster they shouldnt have put it in AIBU, when as far as I could see it was in the bereavement topic!

bibbitybobbityhat Sun 06-Sep-09 11:15:27

Deemented I do wonder why you are wilfully ignoring all the posts of explanation who from the posters who contacted MNHQ about that thread. I actually asked MNHQ to "do something about this thread", not move it, but it was FOR THE SAKE OF THE OP WHO HAD A LOT OF PEOPLE COMING ON GETTING ARSEY WITH HER.

It was not because I am uncomfortable with bereavement or any other reason you care to make up.

5inthebed Sun 06-Sep-09 11:19:57

The op only had peole being arsey with her because they hadn't fully read the post. Most peole apologised as soon as they had read the whole post.

I don't think it needed to be moved, but that is just my opinion.

5inthebed Sun 06-Sep-09 11:20:39

Apologies, my P button isn't working too good today.

hazeyjane Sun 06-Sep-09 11:27:45

Deemented, I asked for the thread to be deleted, not because it made me feel uncomfortable, but because it seemed unfair to have people saying flippant, hurtful remarks to someone when they hadn't read the whole thread, which would be hurtful to her and make them feel awful.

You say (on the other thread) that it makes you angry that bereaved parents are put in a corner and hidden away, but then are really confrontational when people discuss the subject of bereavment.

I know that when I had a miscarriage (which i know in no way compares to losing a child), people said things that were cack-handed and stupid, or talked around it, wanting to pretend it didn't happen, I think they did this because it is an awkward subject, and we don't want to think about it, because we hope it won't happen.

FWIW, I do think it was stupid to move it to bereavment, but i just thought it was a thread that could become increasingly hurtful to the op.

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