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Quick! We need your advice on how to deal with the embarrassing things children say for Radio 5 Live

(43 Posts)
CatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 14-Aug-08 10:34:43

We've been asked to give advice on what to do when your child utters something mortifying in earshot of other people. Do you shriek and run away or laugh it off? Any anecdotes would also be greatly appreciated

CatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 14-Aug-08 10:36:29


lazaroulovespastries Thu 14-Aug-08 10:36:45

Ds1 asked a taxi driver if he was honey monster a couple of days ago. I walked off laughing and left my mum to deal with it.

The taxi driver was a good sport though. He went 'raghhh!'

lazaroulovespastries Thu 14-Aug-08 10:37:06

So, my advice is keep walking.

Doodle2U Thu 14-Aug-08 10:38:23

"He get's it from his father" <pointed look>

saltire Thu 14-Aug-08 10:38:39

I laugh it off. Like the time DS1 started shouting Homo really loudly and pointing at some random man, who didn't look very pleased. Then the man moved and we saw a Homer Simpson claendar. I just laughed and said "kids eh, imagine him knowing who the simpsons are at his age". he was about 2!
Or the time he was shouting to my neighbours daughter "would you like an ice lolly Hannah, which I thought was nice until I found him with a box of Tampax throwing them over the fence. I had to go and retrieve them. Again, just smiled sweetly, in fact neighbour probalby thought I was a loon!

Flossish Thu 14-Aug-08 10:39:09

Smelly old lady on the bus

DS, top of voice 'I can smell somefink'

Me 'Don't be silly'

DS 'I can smell somefink mummy!'

Me hangs head and ignores.

DS said to SIL 'You've got a fat bum'

Me 'No she hasn't'

DS 'Yes she has'

Me silenced in shame.

I'm not very good at this game am I?

Doobydoo Thu 14-Aug-08 10:39:24

On a crowded bus with my mum when I was 5[33 years ago].Saw a girl with her dad[my parents divorced] I asked[loudly] Have I got a dad?
Mum said yes...I said Well where is he then?!
All ears pricked up and mum just muttered about telling me later.

saltire Thu 14-Aug-08 10:39:30

My advice is to smile sweetly. Or pretend you dind't hear them, and ignore. Which only works if they don't repeat it louder and louder

Doobydoo Thu 14-Aug-08 10:40:57

My advice is don't make eye contact with anyone around!

Flossish Thu 14-Aug-08 10:41:04

Another time DS declared to my friend that Mummy was having a baby, 'A boy baby'. DP and I very embarrassed as DS had obviously overheard our discussions about whether to get the morning after pill which is where we were heading at the time... grin

zookeeper Thu 14-Aug-08 10:41:13

You loudly annonce that you will not tolerate this behaviour and that you are going to take them home to their mother

CatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 14-Aug-08 10:42:11

grin zookeeper

Doodle2U Thu 14-Aug-08 10:42:12

DS when he was about 3, spotted a black man "Mummy - that man is all burnt"

Me - "No he isn't sweetheart. He has black skin, that's all"

Black man - "Come to me little one. See how my palms are pink"

DS (by now facinated) climbs onto black man's knee for a skin investigation and a chat about different skin colours.

Me - loving this guy for being such a star.

Flier Thu 14-Aug-08 10:42:27

I laugh it off and say something
like "oh, don't children say the funniest things" and quickly walk away.

saltire Thu 14-Aug-08 10:44:35

DS2 was doing family trees at school recently. He had put on my side of the family that my dad was dea, but I ahd a step dad and he said the following to his teacher

DS2 "That's my grandad, but he's not my mums dad. I don't know who he was. I don't think she did either"
"He(pointing to step dads name) isn't my uncle X or Uncle y's dad either.I don't think they had the same dad as my mum, because I don't know who he was either, neither do they"

psychomum5 Thu 14-Aug-08 10:45:44

DD1 informing the entire ward after DD2 was born that mummy now wore nappies and was bleeding from her bum!!!

she was almost two, and had insisted on coming to the bathroom with me as she was feeling a little left out by me having a new baby (understandably), and the other people on the ward found it all highly ammusing.........except my FIL...blush.

not sure he really needed to know about the bodily functions of his daughter-in-lawhmm

TheFifthApe Thu 14-Aug-08 10:47:20

dd1: [loudly] That lady is REALLY FAT
Lady: [who was] harrumph
me: ahem blush

I think the advice generally is to mutter and just look ashamed

some of these are so funny!

psychomum5 Thu 14-Aug-08 10:48:16

oh, and DD1 also going into school and telling her teacher that she must have two daddy's.......

we had received an invite to a party, but instead of DH's name, they had written his nick-name. DD1 had asked who it was, and I just said it was daddys work-name.

how on earth she thought that meant she had tow daddys I will never know, but to be called into school and asked by a confused teacher is not high on my list of fun things to do!

LippyGobshite Thu 14-Aug-08 10:50:50

dc: "Mummmeeee, why is that fat lady so smelly and that man's a baaaaaad man because I heardd him say FUCK and that lady is very old will she be dead soon and when we get to the shops are you going to get some of those things you put up your bloody bottom?"

You say, "Yes, darling, you can have some carrot sticks for a snack when we get home"
Then you have to look quite concerned and say, "Hmm, we really need to contact that speech therapist again, don't we? You're really not enunciating clearly. I'm sure no one else would have understood that."

MerlinsBeard Thu 14-Aug-08 10:55:13

i don't really get embarrassed by ut (yet)

a man with a turban and an eye patch got on the bus as we passed the local hosp. 2 YO DS1 piped up really loudly, LOOK THERES A PIRATE GETTING IN THE BUS i just replied yes i can see why you think that but actually its an eye bandage.

The answer to loud yellings of why is that woman/man fat is that people come in all shapes and sizes

the answer to why are people black/brown/white is that people have all diferent kinds of skin

DS1 also went thru a phase of asking random men if they were his dad (hmm) i just turned into a game wher i pointed out men and said quietly do you think thats' your daddy? he got so fed up in the end that his reply was "mummy my daddy is in the studio silly"grin

MrsWeasley Thu 14-Aug-08 10:58:19

Sitting on a crowded bus. My DS aged 5 was sitting at the front with his big Brother I was half way down with DD.
DS:"Mummy we got a present at school today"
Me: "oh Thats nice"
DS: "Yeah its a nit comb" at which the whole bus went silent and some started scratching
Me(in a feeble voice) "Thats lovely, but we dont need it darling"

On another bus, it was a busy bus full of factory workers(lots of men), DD aged 7 said loudly "mummy what's a Wanker?" I nearly choked and all the men turned around and looked at me expectantly. I asked why she need to know and she said she had been called it at school! I said I would explain later maybe. About 6 men all started laughing and 1 said I was a coward. grin

Another day on the bus, A youth got on and he had a big of a teenage spot problem DD shouts "oh mummy he has chicken Pox like I did"
I blushed, he blushed,

We walk now grin

cocolepew Thu 14-Aug-08 11:03:16

Say "Who does this child belong too?' While looking around and tutting.
Then say loudly ''I'll take him/her to lost children."
Grab child.

saltire Thu 14-Aug-08 11:08:00

They really know how to embarass us don't they. That last story with DS2 happened a few weeks ago, as he is 8 now, and has been embarassisng me since he was a toddler.
he ran into the room once and shouted, in front of DH and the ILs "mummy's taken her boobs off and thrown them in the bin"
I had in fact thrown out a few bras!

zookeeper Thu 14-Aug-08 11:09:05

Walk everywhere. Fast. Avoid buses at all costs.

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