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Would you be prepared to talk about your experience of miscarriage for a Times piece highlighting our miscarriage campaign?

(73 Posts)
JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 25-Jul-08 22:39:42

Hi all,
Journalist Joanna Moorhead is writing an article for The Times about our miscarriage campaign and she'd like to hear from Mumsnetters who've suffered a miscarriage, and who have issues with the care they received. If you feel you weren't given enough information by medical caregivers; or you were treated insensitively, left near women who were still pregnant or women with babies, and would be prepared to talk about it (and possibly be photographed), she'd like to hear from you.
If you'd like to post here and can receive CATs please do and Joanna will contact you or if you'd rather, contact her direct at jmoorhead@dial.pipex.com.

The article is planned for the week after next, so Joanna is hoping to research it over the next week, ie by August 1.

Many thanks.

expatinscotland Fri 25-Jul-08 22:40:59

I'd be willing to share my experience, although it was in Scotland and I am not sure if Joanna wishes to focus her article on care in England and Wales.

RuthT Fri 25-Jul-08 22:41:58

I am happy to share although my experience wasn't totally negative - no photo though!

escape Fri 25-Jul-08 22:45:33

mine was in jersey CI - any good?
live in dubai so no pkoto!

bosch Fri 25-Jul-08 22:59:40

Am a bit like RuthT - happy to share, only a few ishoos, no photos.

QueenyEisGotTheBall Fri 25-Jul-08 23:01:34

i have sent her an email directly as my experience has been of completely poor care on the miscarriage front unfortunatelysad
xx ei xx

Nemoandthefishes Fri 25-Jul-08 23:08:43

I would talk about it but no way would I be photographed.

ButterflyMcQueen Fri 25-Jul-08 23:16:03

i would be

was treated insensitively - told contradictory things about whether pg was continuing
put on a ward next to a woman who was terminating a pg
left in agonising pain
went home with no pain relief
dp had to drive back that night for pain killers
dp had to drive back the next day with 'elements of conception'
gp asked me the next week 'why do you want more children?'
overall a shocker of an experience and the next time i m/c i did not go to doctors

daffodill6 Fri 25-Jul-08 23:22:31

If you need a 'positive view' - i can help - again no photos! My (male) GP was brilliant - visited without asking - and the hospital experience was not too bad. ...But I am brave

Marina Fri 25-Jul-08 23:27:05

If Joanna wants to cover the issue of second trimester pregnancy loss (medically a miscarriage but increasingly treated by midwives and of course by SANDS as a premature stillbirth) then I can assist her
Disclaimer: I am likely to be bitterly scathing about my experiences at the Harris Birthright Centre hmm

Carmenere Fri 25-Jul-08 23:39:49

I was a woman who was in labour in the same room as a terribly upset woman who had just suffered a miscarriage. It was a hideous and very wrong situation.

justaboutagrownup Sat 26-Jul-08 08:11:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justaboutagrownup Sat 26-Jul-08 08:12:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RBH Sat 26-Jul-08 08:23:05

With my first one in Wales the nurse was awful and even said "Oh so it was wanted was it?". With the second the doctor was young and completely insensitive. Couldn't scan me as it was a weekend and was very unhelpful.

DrNortherner Sat 26-Jul-08 09:19:51

I'd be happy to chat if you need more. I was bleeding for 4 days before and GP would not refer me to EPU. In the end I passed the feotus and had to go to A&E with it in my handbag.

The woman in A&E was not very sympathetic to say the least.

They also orgot to tell the relevant departments and 2 days later I got a letter for my 18 week scan appt which I had to call and cancel.

megcleary Sat 26-Jul-08 09:27:42

went for 12 week scan on monday and no heart beat told i had lost it at 6 weeks but to come back the following week for a scan in case i had got pregnant in the interim no one explained what could happen but given contact number for gynae ward

on saturday morning severe cramps took painkillers eventually rang number told to come had massive bleed that would stop and end up in theatre for evacuation of retained products they checked hb and gave me iron tablets and painkillers and said go home i had a million questions like why told no one knows and we only invistigate if you lose 3 try again after you have a normal period and given letter to give to gp

rang gp to say i had applied for prescription card i had misscarriage and could they cancel it it appeared in the post weeks later

6 weeks later phone call from gp receptionist saying i had a script to collect i said for what she informed me iron and i said i had finished my tablets the hospital have given me that said they just had a letter from the hospital i said i had posted it through their door 6 weeks before

3/4 months later phone call from health visitor to see if i would like to meet them before the birth i informed them i had miscarried months before and they were very apologetic

if story of any help let me know

cocolepew Sat 26-Jul-08 09:45:50

I needed a D and C for my first miscarriage, while waiting to go in the Dr came out to talk to me, with his scrubs covered in blood.

JamInMyWellies Sat 26-Jul-08 12:04:04

Am happy to talk to Joanna and i dont mind a photo.

MMC spotted at 12wk scan told by sonographer they had had a terrible day lots of MMC and sent up to EPU. Ended up going privatley but to be honest not much better than NHS as i was brought round from Anesthetic they recovery nurse told me I was lucky to have had 1 child as she had wanted lots and didnt get any. Complained in my patient feedback still waiting 8mth on for a call to discuss. Also still waiting for the consultant to phone me for my post op check up!

eandz Sat 26-Jul-08 12:30:08

i was 8 weeks pregnant (had just found out) and at the gp's discussing what i was supposed to do/not do since I'm an expat living in London. While I was sitting in her office I started to bleed everywhere and the doctor told me it looked like a miscarriage. I started crying and she walked me to a dark broom closet and left me inside. A few minutes later another woman came in with kitchen roll and handed it to me and sat down. No talking, told me it might not be a miscarriage but looked like one. I didn't know what was going on, except that i was bleeding everywhere. Two men came in half an hour later with a wheelchair and whisked me away to an ambulance. Both were nice guys but both said it looked like a miscarriage but not to rule anything/everything out. I got to st marys and was put in a small room with a giant blood stain on one wall. The nurses handed me more paper napkins and just left me there. By this time my husband had come home from work to be with me and I passed some material/clot? (the bleeding hadn't stopped and was just getting heavier). The doctor came in and first asked us a bunch of questions...some which weren't relevant
this is how the conversation went:

Doctor: why are you here?
Me: I'm bleeding, I think I'm miscarrying?
Doctor: your paperwork says you had been taking dianette, phenteramine, you were a smoker and that your about 8 weeks pregnant. I think your miscarrying also.
Me: yeah, I think it might be that also
Doctor: so your name is unusual...
Me and My husband: (say our last name not understanding why our name matters)
Doctor: no,no, it's pronounced this way (mis pronounces our last name) it's Pakistani in origin.
Husband: can we look into private care please? My wife is distressed and we would like not to be kept waiting.
Doctor: it's too expensive for you, and it's the same care as the nhs provides.
Husband: we'd be interested in it anyway
Doctor: what do you do?
Husband: I work
Doctor: how old are you?
Husband: how much longer do we need to be here for? when can you give us a final diagnosis?
Doctor: we can't let her out till she's had a scan, (it's around 10:30am) we might be able to give her an emergency scan at around 4pm. The emergency scanning service closes at 5:30
Me: so I just have to wait and keep bleeding until then?
Doctor: yes, we'll make you as comfortable as we can. (he leaves never to be seen again).

About two hours later a male nurse and female nurse come in:

the female nurse is very pregnant, btw.

Female nurse: we need to take blood to confirm your pregnancy.
Husband: there is a letter and scan picture in her records that confirm an interuterine pregnancy.
Male nurse: the doctor has asked us to run a blood test to make sure she 'was' pregnant.
Me: you can do that? Sure, take all the blood you want. (i'm still bleeding everywhere, no one has thought of giving me a pad or a towel).

They take blood, we sit and wait.

at 4:45ish someone comes with a wheelchair to take me to my scan. I'm STILL bleeding. They give me a pair of pants that are like large diapers. I wear them happily. I'm still bleeding profusely though. (have been bleeding constantly since the morning). They take me to the early pregnancy unit, the emergency scanning service, I'm surrounded by pregnant women, children and on the other side where i'm sitting closest to some sad looking women who aren't bubbling with joy. Some leafing through a yellow and black pamphlet that says "sorry you've miscarried". One which I am given before my husband takes a seat next to me.

It's about 5:15 and I'm getting anxious. I want to stop bleeding, I want to just get on with the day and focus on not being pregnant. I'm called in for my scan. I didn't realize this, but husband is carrying the clotted material (or stuff) I passed earlier in a little jar. He hands it to the nurse. Nurse tells me to wait and she gets a doctor to come in. We proceed to the scan.

Doctor: your cervix is closed
Me: what does that mean?
Doctor: well, lets see if we see a heart beat or not...ohh look, theres a heart beat. this is a viable pregnancy.
Husband: why is she bleeding?
Doctor: I don't know
Me: can you make it stop?
Doctor: I don't know why your bleeding
Husband: your scanning her, surely you can see why?
Doctor: I'm just here to see if the pregnancy is viable or not. this bleeding could be internal
Me: internal bleeding? isn't that serious?
Doctor: you can go home
Me: but I'm still bleeding like crazy, are you sure theres nothing wrong?
Doctor: you can go home, if it continues along you can come in tomorrow, but we close at 5:30
Me: what about private care? they would be open, wouldn't they?
Doctor: why would you want private care? (she steps back and raises her voice) it's the same treatment you'd get here!
Husband: ok, if you say she's ok we'll go
Me: yeah, so the pregnancy is viable, we'll just go now.

we leave. I'm still bleeding like crazy at this point, and neither of us know why.

we get home and look for a private obgyn who answers his phone right away. He's in Greece on Holiday but still talks to me about the reasons why the pregnancy is still viable and why I could be bleeding. 20 minutes after speaking with him, his secretary calls me and sets up an emergency appointment with the obgyn who is covering him at the time and asks me when I'd like to be seen. I figure I'll stay at home for the evening and go in the next morning. So I go in the next morning and am told the bleeding has been caused by the placenta pulling away and that i have some internal bleeding but it'll resolve itself. but we'll keep monitoring you.

i haven't miscarried, but this is how i was treated. your more than welcome to any of my records dealing with this incident.

crochetdiva Sat 26-Jul-08 13:13:27

I would be happy to talk about my experiences: I have had 2 mc - 1 at 7 weeks, and 1 at 14 weeks: my experiences during them couldn't have been more different, either!

OracleInaCoracle Sat 26-Jul-08 16:32:26

i would be happy to talk about my mc's and/or my ep. 7 mcs in total, all quite early but very different.

cornsilk Sat 26-Jul-08 16:40:20

I would but no photos.
My biggest gripe is with the attitude of my emplyers. I was bullied by my head into doing parents evening while I was actually miscarrying. I was in floods of tears when the first parent arrived and she still made me do it! Looking back now I can't believe I let that happen, but you are vulnerable and not thinking properly.

Bink Sat 26-Jul-08 18:53:10

Not worth an interview but possibly worth finding some sort of place in guidelines - the only thing I still carry around is: when I went in (post-miscarriage) to have the ERPC that had been recommended, and was alone waiting to go down to theatre, a nurse came in and said "May I ask you - why are you doing this?"

At the time I stumbled through that I'd been prescribed the operation - but very shortly afterwards I realised she had PRESUMED I was deliberately terminating a viable pregnancy, and had decided to test my decision.

If I had been terminating, it was a bad enough thing for her to do; but to ambush a miscarriage sufferer like that - in hindsight, just shocking.

megcleary Sat 26-Jul-08 18:55:46

bink you poor darling

BeHereNow Sat 26-Jul-08 19:17:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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