Posters getting their thread removed because of 'privacy concerns.' [hmm]

(42 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

littlepattilou Tue 01-Jun-21 13:02:51

This is just getting on my bloody nerves now.

I just constructed a helpful, (albeit slightly lengthy) post to put on a particular thread (on AIBU,) and I took about 20 minutes to construct the post, and did the 'preview post' thing to check for typos, and the thread had been deleted! It was only put up there at 12.05pm!

Whether the OP didn't like the responses she got I don't know, but this is genuinely pissing me off now, and is making me feel like I can't be arsed to bother posting any response, unless it just takes a minute or two to type out!

If I have a ream of helpful advice and information, why should I bother typing it all out, when there's a risk that the OP will tell mumsnet to delete the thread, before I can submit my post?!

Why does this keep happening ?!!! angry

Why bother posting a thread on here - and they are often lengthy original posts - just to tell mumsnet to delete it an hour after you posted it! And it's always 'privacy concerns!' hmm

Even the posters who managed to actually post their response before the thread was deleted have wasted their time.

As I say, at this rate, people are just not going to bother posting anything that takes longer than a minute to type out! Why bother, when there's a risk that the thread may go 'poooof' anyway! confused

OP’s posts: |
ChicChaos Tue 01-Jun-21 13:10:01

Certainly no privacy concerns last time I saw the thread, it just wasn't going the OP's way. This thread will probably disappear as well tbh, it would be more helpful to identify a way of contacting MN on the deletion message.

BlackberrySky Tue 01-Jun-21 13:37:06

I think sometimes people use MN to vent, without thinking it through (very annoying for everyone else!). They then pause for breath and realise they probably shouldn't have posted. I wish there was a "draft box" where people could type a post, but it not be uploaded until they have read it after sleeping on it.

Anordinarymum Tue 01-Jun-21 13:42:57

When you read some of the responses on here to something asked innocently it is no wonder they ask for the thread to be deleted.

Some folks follow other posters around and jump in on threads where they post. Isn't this a form of trolling ? There are a lot of people who spend far too much time on here IMHO

MichelleScarn Tue 01-Jun-21 13:49:26

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BertieBotts Tue 01-Jun-21 13:54:59

Hide AIBU. It hardly ever happens outside of that section and the site is much calmer without it!

User5485421134 Tue 01-Jun-21 14:00:43

This is common IT knowledge but you can often retrieve and read deleted threads by searching for the cached version. Use Google Chrome and simply paste in the url, then type "cache:" at the very start so the line reads "cache:https://www.mumsnet.com... ". To skip pages, manually change the number at the end to 2, 3, 4 etc.
This can be useful if a thread escalates very quickly and you can at least get an idea of what caused the deletion.

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ChicChaos Tue 01-Jun-21 14:06:17

BlackberrySky you can use the Preview Message button for that.

Is there ever any comeback on posters who request deletion just because they didn't get the headpats they were looking for? Suspension or deletion? (of the poster, not the thread).

SlipperyDippery Tue 01-Jun-21 14:08:54

I agree, I think Mumsnet delete posts far too readily

Wanttocry Tue 01-Jun-21 14:17:41

I agree. If you’re talking about the one I’m thinking about I don’t think the OP had even posted past the first message and there was nothing vaguely “outing” in it. (Unless you were the person directly involved, but then that’s the case in the majority of threads)

littlepattilou Tue 01-Jun-21 15:07:39

It was the one where a woman was complaining about her brother who had chosen his wife's family over her, and her parents, and her mother was really upset as he never bothered with them anymore. I could not see anything 'identifying' it.

Surely people know their threads are going to be seen by loads of people on here? If they're so worried about their 'privacy' then don't post the thread in the first place!

OP’s posts: |
littlepattilou Tue 01-Jun-21 15:09:25

sorry, I couldn't see anything identifying IN it.

OP’s posts: |
PegasusReturns Tue 01-Jun-21 15:12:14

I agree but you’ll get lots of people saying this isn’t a soap opera, threads aren’t for your entertainment and posters don’t owe you a response

Floralnomad Tue 01-Jun-21 15:13:03

I agree that threads are removed too quickly , there was a huge thread on Sunday that was deleted with the message ‘it’s causing real life upset ‘ , well that was only because the OP wasn’t getting the replies she had expected to get and someone had also linked to another thread that didn’t put her in a good light .

TaraR2020 Tue 01-Jun-21 15:21:16

This doesn't bother me so much, what does bother me a bit is when I take a while writing a considered reply, really trying to be helpful, and it isn't acknowledged by the op. Fair enough in very large threads, they can't respond to everyone inside, but it does bother me a bit on shorter threads when the others posts are acknowledged.

Having said that - we're all just words on a screen to each other so I decided to let it go grin

TaraR2020 Tue 01-Jun-21 15:21:41

*individually not inside

LilyMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 01-Jun-21 16:08:34

Hi OP

Thanks for getting in touch about this.

We know it can be really frustrating when threads disappear, and we do our best to push back on deletions - especially when it involves a larger thread that many users have spent time contributing to.

That being said, our job is to make parents lives easier. Sometimes, threads can cause a lot of upset - including real life concerns, anxiety etc. If a thread is causing someone a great deal of stress and upset then we will absolutely consider removing it. We're not in the business of making anyone's life harder than it needs to be.

We understand that it can be annoying, but it's just something we have to do. We hope it doesn't change the way you contribute to the site. flowers

littlepattilou Tue 01-Jun-21 23:26:37

@LilyMumsnet

Thanks for responding. smile I get what you're saying, but it is quite frustrating sometimes.

And I just had a rant this morning, because I had just constructed a long (helpful) post, and the thread went before I could post it!

I will still contribute as much on mumsnet. smile I just wanted to have a moany rant earlier! grin

To be fair, me composing a lengthy post and the thread disappearing is fairly rare tbh, but it is annoying when it DOES happen.

OP’s posts: |
VeryLongBeeeeep Wed 02-Jun-21 10:07:59

I think it would be slightly less annoying if the deletion message just said something like "the OP regrets posting", which covers both genuine privacy concerns and claiming so to hide a petulant flounce because the thread wasn't going the way the OP wanted. Then posters who saw the message could interpret it in whichever way most suited the thread up to that point.

PegasusReturns Wed 02-Jun-21 10:31:19

@VeryLongBeeeeep I think that’s a reasonable suggestion.

There are many extraordinarily well qualified and experienced women who provide their experience and advice in an effort to help. Deleting threads does feel like a bit of a slap in the face when you’ve gone to a real effort to be helpful.

LivMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 02-Jun-21 11:16:43

We do understand what you're saying - and believe us, it can be frustrating to have to delete long threads where we can see many posters have taken the time to offer valuable advice.

That said, if an OP has genuine concerns that they may be identified from details in a thread, we really do have to act on that.

MichelleScarn Wed 02-Jun-21 18:50:22

Also agree with @VeryLongBeeeeep, its closer to the truth!

littlepattilou Wed 02-Jun-21 22:53:06

PegasusReturns

*@VeryLongBeeeeep* I think that’s a reasonable suggestion.

There are many extraordinarily well qualified and experienced women who provide their experience and advice in an effort to help. Deleting threads does feel like a bit of a slap in the face when you’ve gone to a real effort to be helpful.

This. ^

I know what MNHQ are saying, about people getting upset or worried that they have posted identifying information, (although I also believe some want it deleting because they didn't get the responses they wanted!)

But today it happened again! ARGH!

It was on a thread where a woman had lost her sister in tragic circumstances, and was angry that her cousin was getting married on her sister's birthday. Although some posters were a bit harsh, saying 'it was 6 years ago, get over it!' many posters - including me - posted some lovely, compassionate responses.

I spent about 30 minutes composing my response, with lots of helpful advice, compassion, and thoughts, and examples of people I know who had experienced similar, and three minutes after I posted it. POOOOF, the thread was deleted, with the 'privacy concerns' message...

The OP posted some 2 minutes before my post went on, so I really hope she read my message, as my message was only 2 or 3 posts after her. Lots of people had posted many lovely responses, and as the OP had only come back 5 minutes before the thread was deleted, (after not posting on the thread for 2 hours...) it's very likely most posts were not read by her.

And yeah, it does feel like a slap in the face when your good, helpful post disappears into the ether! Especially so, if the thread goes 2 or 3 minutes after you post your message!

OP’s posts: |
NoIdontwanttoseeyourknob Wed 02-Jun-21 22:58:50

Some people were being absolute dicks on that thread though. I can understand an OP really just wondering why they had opened themselves up to that level of bile.

JaninaDuszejko Wed 02-Jun-21 22:59:59

The woman whose sister had died was very easy to find in real life so it doesn't surprise me at all that she asked for the message to be deleted, there was a nice message from her on the deletion message though and she was engaging in the thread so I'm sure that was deleted for well founded privacy reasons.

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