Why is MMHQ doing the ‘pick me dance’?

[UnderHerEye]

@MNHQ

It’s time for you to decide who you stand for, there are millions of posters who use your website everyday, women who have found support on here, women who have found the help they needed through pregnancy and birth; infertility struggles; fighting cancer; leaving a violent relationship; dealing with their own disabilities; dealing with children’s disabilities; dealing with loved ones going on deployment; finding the confidence to return to work, or to retrain; finding the confidence to make friends; and so much more.

Women have used this site to support each other, to make friends, to share their grief and pain, and sometimes just to share a joke or have a chat. There are thousands of forums on the net but this one, mumsnet, was accessible to women primarily because it was mainly women posting.

So who do you stand for @MNHQ? your users? or a group of people who actively despise your users, and your site?

[rascallyrascal]

I'm lost.

[Rufustheyawningreindeer]

Mumsnet has always had a special ethos

[AuntieStella]

I remember when ''twas all fields round here.

Seriously though, it's a much bigger site and not the same as it was. The number of threads which have ended up in the press has, I think, changed the site considerably - I mean who wouid post about their RL for support if they thought it could end up in the press?

And it's MNetters who have led/driven the change - topics are barely used. Everything is in AIBU or chat because that's where people want to post. I don't always like it, but people will use the site as they want to. And that's always been the case.

[ChampagneSupernovaAgain]

Sorry I am lost too.
What is the Pick Me dance?

[Bibesia]

It's a parenting website. If you want an all-women website, look elsewhere.

[Sparklingbrook]

What the what what?

[ExConstance]

I find this constant obsession with trans issues and the less happy bits of life depressing. Lots of us use Mumsnet to talk about our pets, fashion, cookery, buying and selling houses, make up, what shoes to wear with this dress, holidays, crafts and sewing. We use it because it is there and because Justine and MNHQ have it open for us to do so, it is not our forum, it is theirs, and very useful and helpful it is too. It has helped me decide which bicycle to buy and how to exercise and a myriad of other things that have made my life easier and better. Please don't try to subvert it into some sort of political organisation or dictate to those who run it what they should allow.

[wafflyversatile]

What exconstance says.

[AlonsoTigerHeart]

Please don't try to subvert it into some sort of political organisation or dictate to those who run it what they should allow.

[AlonsoTigerHeart]

Please don't try to subvert it into some sort of political organisation or dictate to those who run it what they should allow.

This

[UnderHerEye]

Please don't try to subvert it into some sort of political organisation or dictate to those who run it what they should allow

I agree with this, and I’m very upset at the censorship and thought policing that is happening over on thefeminism boards.

[MistressDeeCee]

I thought the censorship was around what users can and can't say.

The "Pick Me" analogy refers to women who cater to and support men 1st always and throw other women under the bus in "look at me, I'm not like THOSE other women I'm better than them so give me a pat on the head" - doesn't it..?

I think MN can do what they like with their own site and whoever doesn't like it can leave. Doesn't mean you shouldn't have a view on it obviously.

[JoyTheUnicorn]

Whether we like it or not, MN is something of a political organisation. As an open forum, created mainly by women and for women, how they handle certain aspects of the forum is a message to those of us within the community, and beyond.

The current trans issues have the potential to be very damaging for women and girls in the uk, and changes snuck in under the guise of progression.

It would be great if MNHQ could allow free discussion to continue, but it appears that there is pressure on them to censor this.

Whatever anyone's views are of this, at the very least I would hope that everyone here supports free speech, and would be unhappy to have lists of banned words which may upset a very small percentage of the population.

We have free speech when it comes to diet, pregnancy, smoking, disabilities, how we feed our babies and children, pretty much everything.

Personally I'm pleased that we are able to discuss things, but it's looking like the FWR boards are being monitored more closely than ever before, but only in certain threads, particularly where biology is referred to, and only a,day or so ago, women talking about their biology was said to be weaponising the words. This isn't the MN I've loved and posted on for 9 years.

No-one can expect MNHQ to make some sort of black and white choice, but they do appear to be prioritising others' feelings over the women who have made MN the place it is for years.

[MistressDeeCee]

It's a site geared towards women, must in a pretty big way rely on advertising aimed at women. Women's rights are important so it's confusing being told you women can't talk about this or that. So whilst I feel people could just leave, I do understand the concerns.

[PortiaCastis]

Yes what ExConstance says I agree with. It's Mns site which we do not have to pay to use and I come on here to get advice and read the amusing stuff but most of all to ask for help if I need it (have had a lot of help in the past) and if I didn't like it Id leave it

[WhereDoWeBeginToCovetClarice]

The problem is that the very people who pushed through the legislation that harms women's rights are actually trolling this site.

They don't want women to push back, but because they originally won through the anti-woman legislation using the force of litigation rather than democracy, consultation and winning hearts and minds, they are no stranger to abusing the law to get what they want and you can be sure they are dicking around with mumsnet now.

So a little message to you litigious, authoritarian buggers - the laws you forced through don't stand up to scrutiny and your lust for power, control and more, more, more is going to backfire - because the weaknesses will be exposed.

And I see you doing your crazed Internet clean up to hide your bragging about the non-democratic means you used. I see you.

[Bibesia]

What legislation are you talking about, Clarice?

[WhereDoWeBeginToCovetClarice]

Laws to enable certain people to falsify public records, prosecute anyone who exposes their deception and change the definition of women to include people with XY chromosomes and the prostates, cocks and balls that go with them.

[MoggyP]

I like your post ExConstance

A phrase I saw on another thread is 'don't confuse Starbucks with Party Hall'

(Not that I'd go in to Starbucks out of choice, I'd prefer an independent. Quinoa optional)

[Bibesia]

But which Acts are you talking about, Clarice?

[Pratchet]

And I see you doing your crazed Internet clean up to hide your bragging about the non-democratic means you used. I see you

Can you expand on this please? I've seen recent confessions of how they flew under the radar in Scotland. But I think they thought they were among friends. I am interested in what you say.

[KataraJean]

Where is the material about how they flew under the radar in Scotland Pratchet?
Because that is where it looks like female = anyone who wants to be is the direction of travel.

[TopDog123]

FFS. Repeating the same threads over and over again for years now.

No wonder some are claiming it's damaging their mental health, it's not healthy.

[Pratchet]

Yes well someone's got to do it. If it wasn't for women organising to fight this you would have men self identifying into your daughter's swim change already.

[TopDog123]

Making constant demands of MNHQ/Justine hasn't achieved that at all.