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So if an OP doesn’t like the way the thread is going...

(29 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Tippexy Mon 23-Oct-17 01:55:20

...they can simply get it pulled?

hmm

TashaRomanoff Mon 23-Oct-17 02:36:19

thlhmm Indeed they can. For any reason really.

FormerlyFrikadela01 Mon 23-Oct-17 11:29:48

This has been going on for ages. They always claim it could be "outing" so it gets pulled like they're the only person in the entire world who lives in a 3 bed semi in the suburbs with a husband and 2 kids

CarolineMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 23-Oct-17 13:38:58

Hello and thanks for querying this. Despite how it might sometimes look, it isn't quite the case that we hit the big red zapper button as soon as we get a mail asking for a thread to go. It very much depends on the whys and wherefores of that particular thread. Ultimately, though, we are here to make parents' lives easier, and if we think it's kindest all round to take the thread down we will do that. We do try and explore other options first, though, as we do totally appreciate how frustrating this can be for those who have taken the time to comment. Hope that makes sense flowers.

SilverySurfer Mon 23-Oct-17 15:14:48

There have been countless examples of an OP not getting the responses they expected or wanted, who then flounce off and insist on their thread being pulled. Sometimes MNHQ's message will say it's because too much RL info has been revealed in the OP when that's blatantly untrue and no RL info has been given at all.

This is a recent development and I think it's wrong, especially when posters have given info re their own what may have been harrowing experiences in an attempt to help the OP.

I can really understand why people become less inclined to share their experiences when the OP can go in a huff and MNHQ shuts down the thread. It's not only the OP who can benefit from their knowledge, I'm pretty sure there are others who are reading who can be helped who just haven't found the courage to post their own problem. So when you shut down a thread, it stops the often wise words being helpful to others who are reading.

FormerlyFrikadela01 Mon 23-Oct-17 15:42:46

Completely agree Silverysurfer. MNHQ can come onto these threads with the standard exaplantion we see above but the evidence says different.

Despite how it might sometimes look, it isn't quite the case that we hit the big red zapper button as soon as we get a mail asking for a thread to go.

It looks the way it does because that's the way it is. We aren't Idiots. I wish hq would just come out and say it the way it is

user1495832265 Mon 23-Oct-17 17:34:57

I too completely agree with Silvery.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Mon 23-Oct-17 17:38:31

Yep. Posters don't get the response they want so they pretend to plead distress or that it's outing and it gets pulled.

It's ridiculous and it needs to stop.

ricecakeseverywhere Thu 26-Oct-17 04:34:56

Tbf no one is in a position to know if too much info has been revealed other than the op.

Eg if someone's other threads show they are a teacher and they regularly post on religion about Hinduism and then have a thread mentioning a hotel stay in a particular resort with their kids ages a lot of people could potentially spot them.

ricecakeseverywhere Thu 26-Oct-17 04:35:17

I agree with the mn policy to allow the deletions

SilverySurfer Thu 26-Oct-17 09:41:45

ricecakeseverywhere
I agree with the mn policy to allow the deletions

Not surprising since you recently advised an OP that they should get their thread closed.

UrsulaPandress Thu 26-Oct-17 09:44:05

It does seem to happen a lot.

larrygrylls Thu 26-Oct-17 12:02:43

Why shouldn’t OP be able to get their thread pulled? If it is to help them and they find it unhelpful then they should be able to get it deleted.

What is the rationale, aside from vindictiveness to keep a thread up against the OP’s wishes?

UrsulaPandress Thu 26-Oct-17 12:08:39

How can it not be helpful?

If you ask for opinions you can't then complain if you happen not to find those opinions to your liking.

larrygrylls Thu 26-Oct-17 12:14:07

Why not?

In fact I think it would be a great idea to allow all OP’s to delete their own threads.

Would make replies more considerate and discourage trolls and bullies.

FormerlyFrikadela01 Thu 26-Oct-17 12:15:04

What is the rationale, aside from vindictiveness to keep a thread up against the OP’s wishes?

Becasue it discourages debate for a start. Why other contributing if it's just going to get pulled when the OP doesn't like the outcome.
And it's not just the OP who gets good information from threads either. I've been on so many threads that I've gotten good information/links etc that have just gone poof for some ridiculous privacy reason. We already have the name change option to protect privacy.

handslikecowstits Thu 26-Oct-17 12:17:55

Well, if MNHQ are going to allow the likes of the Daily Mail to lift threads then it stands to reason that people, troll or genuine are going to want to have their threads deleted.

I do agree however that threads are deleted on the OP's say so and that this is often wrong. Flouncing has become an art form.

WomblingThree Thu 26-Oct-17 13:23:35

I completely agree @SilverySurfer. It seems like any random thread where the OP is disagreed with has them running whining to HQ. If the information on the thread is so “outing” then maybe people should think before they post a thread.

I will even admit to asking for one post to be removed, but it was something I seriously regretted sharing, not because anyone was mean to me 🙄.

SilverySurfer Thu 26-Oct-17 14:22:16

WomblingThree
I will even admit to asking for one post to be removed, but it was something I seriously regretted sharing, not because anyone was mean to me 🙄.

IMO in those circumstances it's entirely reasonable, I just disagree with the flouncers getting their threads pulled because they are pissed off when no-one agrees with them. They make themselves look ridiculous.

irvineoneohone Thu 26-Oct-17 14:22:46

I find it reassuring, actually. Yes, it is frustrating to see the thread you invested your time to respond go. But on the other hand, not every poster is internet savvy.
They post their problem and get negative response. Quickly realise that they are indeed unreasonable in general public's view. Get worried they get found out.
Now I NC when I am posting something potentially outing. But maybe I wasn't as careful in the past.
So, knowing you can ask the thread to be deleted is very reassuring, imo.

ricecakeseverywhere Thu 26-Oct-17 14:55:30

What happens in RL when people don't like the way a conversation is going? They just shut the chat down and move on. This should be no different.

Don't want to make it a TAAT but I don't regret suggesting to a vulnerable woman who had said she had precarious mental health, with previous threads about a dc with Sen, plus about her very unsupportive oh that questions about nannies might be better posted in nannies and not in AIBU which is not for the faint hearted.

MrsSthe3rd Thu 26-Oct-17 15:03:22

This...*
*
*In fact I think it would be a great idea to allow all OP’s to delete their own threads.

Would make replies more considerate and discourage trolls and bullies*

And this...

*What happens in RL when people don't like the way a conversation is going? They just shut the chat down and move on. This should be no different.

Don't want to make it a TAAT but I don't regret suggesting to a vulnerable woman who had said she had precarious mental health, with previous threads about a dc with Sen, plus about her very unsupportive oh that questions about nannies might be better posted in nannies and not in AIBU which is not for the faint hearted.*

I completely agree with MNHQ also.

brasty Thu 26-Oct-17 15:06:15

I like this idea. I know people will delete threads where they did not get the answer they wanted. But I think giving users a bit more control over their content is a good idea.
Also worth noting that legally now sites have to delete a person's content on a simple request anyway.

Branleuse Thu 26-Oct-17 15:07:28

Considering how heated, offensive and downright horrible some threads become, im pretty glad this is an option for some vulnerable people who dont always have the energy to continually defend themselves. I think a lot of people post without realising the culture of the place.

irvineoneohone Thu 26-Oct-17 15:08:21

"no-one agrees with them" means what OP thought it was reasonable to get upset was unreasonable in public view. I doubt anybody post in AIBU thinking "I am AIBU". They normally need reassurance. When they don't get expected response, they realise they weren't, and get panicky. I would.

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