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'Dear' ? :s

26 replies

sleepingkoala · 20/12/2016 16:16

I looked up what the abbreviations i see on here mean like DH, DD, DS etc. etc. And I gather the 'D' stands for 'Dear' like like referring to someone as dear husband for example as DH?

The thing I don't understand is when people on here use that 'dear' abbreviations for people they don't particularly like or actually actually dislike. Like people saying DMIL (I think that's right? or whatever it is anyway) meaning 'dear mother in law' when the person they're talking about isn't actually 'dear' to them in context of what they actually say about how they feel about them. That's just an example. I'm not here much but I've just seen it a couple of times similar to that so was just wondering.

With people who are actually 'dear' to the the person then I can obviously understand it. But I don't get why people would use that abbreviation on people who aren't actually 'dear' to them. It's like it takes away any meaning of the word 'dear' so why add the 'D' in the first place if it's not actually the case/not needed? Surely not everyone is 'dear' just because they have a pronoun which bares some relationship to you like family members you don't actually like. The abbreviation isn't for me personally in general just because I wouldn't personally speak like that. I just don't get some instances of people using it though? How often ahem you seen this? how do you use it? Why? When did it come about? thanks.

OP posts:

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EssentialHummus · 20/12/2016 16:22

I thought it was "Darling".

Er, it's faster than typing husband, sister etc. And there's a certain frisson of tongue in cheek-ness about it, particularly when they aren't being particularly darling (which is the stuff we tend to hear about the most on here).

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 20/12/2016 16:23

Maybe in some contexts its dastardly, or dimwitted, or deranged...

gamerchick · 20/12/2016 16:24

It can mean dickhead....

BIWI · 20/12/2016 16:24

I think you're over-thinking it really! It's an abbreviation that's become an internet convention.

And you don't have to use it either. You can just easily type 'my husband' or 'my son' if you want to.

00100001 · 20/12/2016 16:25

It's been like that since the dawn of the Internet!

gamerchick · 20/12/2016 16:26

It's true you don't. I don't and probably never will.

sleepingkoala · 20/12/2016 16:35

@EssentialHummus
Oh ok well darling is a similar meaning then. I think I just misremembered when I read the meaning.
Oh so it's often partly sarcastic element to it? That's but fine but also...I dunno I'm scared to say an unpopular opinion as obviously users on here likely wouldn't agree but isn't that kinda patronising (for want of a better word)? Sorry I don't mean to be rude I just don't completely get it in some contexts especially. I mean I could understand it being used in a sarcastic way in an individual context definitely don't get me wrong but just it's such a thing here and so many different contexts... Idk I just don't really get it I guess. Is it because it's like you are meant to be thinking of them as darling so it's like a big ironic thing about social expectation or something? I get it's quicker. I get it for referring to children too. Even though I wouldn't use it personally as that's not how I'd speak personally but i do get it in that regard. But I mean more just for others like family you haven't chosen (could be any family member you don't like but still referred to as 'darling') I just still don't get it really sorry.

@ItsAllGoingToBeFine

lol

OP posts:

gamerchick · 20/12/2016 16:38

People do what they want. It's recognised on the internet.

Just like you using @ to quote people when most on here use stars to bold. It's simply not important.

00100001 · 20/12/2016 16:39

Definitely not MN specific

IcedVanillaLatte · 20/12/2016 16:42

The @ is a new thing, isn't it, @gamerchick ? Or have they turned it off?

MrsHathaway · 20/12/2016 16:43

gamer / @gamerchick the @ tags are now functional.

It is quicker to read "DH" than "my husband" and when we're talking about our children it's definitely quicker to parse "DC2(5)" than "my middle child who is five years old".

We could just use initials (I think most people do for eg MIL) but it's not as immediately obvious that D means daughter and not a typo or Daphne.

Bluntness100 · 20/12/2016 16:45

I think it's a bit cringe to be honest so I never use it, I also notice some people use the abbreviations but without the "d". So just "mil" for example.

I don't call my husband my dear husband or my darling husband when talking about him in real life, so not gonna do it on line either, 😂

MavisTheTwinklyToreador · 20/12/2016 16:47

I never use the D's, naff and a bit netmumsy.

CatsAndCocktails · 20/12/2016 16:50

sleepingkoala you put lol at the end of your comment, but I bet you didn't really laugh out loud at about about what you wrote. DH/DMIL etc is exactly the same. They are just abbreviations commonly used so people understand the context/sentiment behind, even though the meaning is not literal.

gamerchick · 20/12/2016 17:06

So they are, another thing to clutter my email up with

IcedVanillaLatte · 20/12/2016 17:08

I hope it's not inconveniencing you at all @gamerchick

gamerchick · 20/12/2016 17:10

Stobbit

IcedVanillaLatte · 20/12/2016 17:12

Sorry @gamerchick :(

I think you can turn it off?

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 20/12/2016 17:16

I read (although it could be bollocks) that DH and DD etc are easier to skim read and recognise than just the single letter D or H or S so the D needn't mean anything. Which is why I don't think it should be DMIL, just MIL. When I ready the abbreviations it just reads as husband etc, you don't need to mentally say the D bit

eurochick · 20/12/2016 17:21

I'm with you, OP. I can't stand it. I've been on here for years and have never used it. It's so horribly twee.

Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2016 17:22

I don't think there's a problem as long as everyone knows what you mean. If you want to write 'my first born son' instead of DS1 go right ahead.

That @ thing is ridiculous and I will be turning it off.

TragicallyUnbeyachted · 20/12/2016 17:25

DH is just an Internet abbreviation for Husband. The D doesn't really stand for anything, although according to your mood it can stand for all sorts of different things in your head.

DMIL is a bit silly because MIL is already long enough to stand out as a unit when you're parsing a sentence.

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Gowgirl · 20/12/2016 17:26

Oh @gamerchick lets all do it! gamer bet we could spam your email lots

RichardBucket · 24/12/2016 21:23

It is horribly twee and often causes confusion: is DF the poster's father, friend, or fiance?

All we can do is continue to type proper words and hope it catches on

Sparklingbrook · 24/12/2016 21:37

Usually in context it is completely obvious which 'DF' the poster is referring to. I have never been confused.

GP could be the doctor the grandparent or indeed a guinea pig, but by reading the thread it will become obvious which....

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