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'Dear' ? :s

(27 Posts)
sleepingkoala Tue 20-Dec-16 16:16:15

I looked up what the abbreviations i see on here mean like DH, DD, DS etc. etc. And I gather the 'D' stands for 'Dear' like like referring to someone as dear husband for example as DH?

The thing I don't understand is when people on here use that 'dear' abbreviations for people they don't particularly like or actually actually dislike. Like people saying DMIL (I think that's right? or whatever it is anyway) meaning 'dear mother in law' when the person they're talking about isn't actually 'dear' to them in context of what they actually say about how they feel about them. That's just an example. I'm not here much but I've just seen it a couple of times similar to that so was just wondering.

With people who are actually 'dear' to the the person then I can obviously understand it. But I don't get why people would use that abbreviation on people who aren't actually 'dear' to them. It's like it takes away any meaning of the word 'dear' so why add the 'D' in the first place if it's not actually the case/not needed? Surely not everyone is 'dear' just because they have a pronoun which bares some relationship to you like family members you don't actually like. The abbreviation isn't for me personally in general just because I wouldn't personally speak like that. I just don't get some instances of people using it though? How often ahem you seen this? how do you use it? Why? When did it come about? thanks.

EssentialHummus Tue 20-Dec-16 16:22:52

I thought it was "Darling".

Er, it's faster than typing husband, sister etc. And there's a certain frisson of tongue in cheek-ness about it, particularly when they aren't being particularly darling (which is the stuff we tend to hear about the most on here).

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 20-Dec-16 16:23:58

Maybe in some contexts its dastardly, or dimwitted, or deranged...

gamerchick Tue 20-Dec-16 16:24:29

It can mean dickhead....

BIWI Tue 20-Dec-16 16:24:50

I think you're over-thinking it really! It's an abbreviation that's become an internet convention.

And you don't have to use it either. You can just easily type 'my husband' or 'my son' if you want to.

00100001 Tue 20-Dec-16 16:25:06

It's been like that since the dawn of the Internet!

gamerchick Tue 20-Dec-16 16:26:14

It's true you don't. I don't and probably never will.

sleepingkoala Tue 20-Dec-16 16:35:29

Oh ok well darling is a similar meaning then. I think I just misremembered when I read the meaning.
Oh so it's often partly sarcastic element to it? That's but fine but also...I dunno I'm scared to say an unpopular opinion as obviously users on here likely wouldn't agree but isn't that kinda patronising (for want of a better word)? Sorry I don't mean to be rude I just don't completely get it in some contexts especially. I mean I could understand it being used in a sarcastic way in an individual context definitely don't get me wrong but just it's such a thing here and so many different contexts... Idk I just don't really get it I guess. Is it because it's like you are meant to be thinking of them as darling so it's like a big ironic thing about social expectation or something? I get it's quicker. I get it for referring to children too. Even though I wouldn't use it personally as that's not how I'd speak personally but i do get it in that regard. But I mean more just for others like family you haven't chosen (could be any family member you don't like but still referred to as 'darling') I just still don't get it really sorry.



gamerchick Tue 20-Dec-16 16:38:39

People do what they want. It's recognised on the internet.

Just like you using @ to quote people when most on here use stars to bold. It's simply not important.

00100001 Tue 20-Dec-16 16:39:54

Definitely not MN specific

IcedVanillaLatte Tue 20-Dec-16 16:42:02

The @ is a new thing, isn't it, @gamerchick ? Or have they turned it off?

MrsHathaway Tue 20-Dec-16 16:43:16

gamer / @gamerchick the @ tags are now functional.

It is quicker to read "DH" than "my husband" and when we're talking about our children it's definitely quicker to parse "DC2(5)" than "my middle child who is five years old".

We could just use initials (I think most people do for eg MIL) but it's not as immediately obvious that D means daughter and not a typo or Daphne.

Bluntness100 Tue 20-Dec-16 16:45:40

I think it's a bit cringe to be honest so I never use it, I also notice some people use the abbreviations but without the "d". So just "mil" for example.

I don't call my husband my dear husband or my darling husband when talking about him in real life, so not gonna do it on line either, 😂

MavisTheTwinklyToreador Tue 20-Dec-16 16:47:16

I never use the D's, naff and a bit netmumsy.

CatsAndCocktails Tue 20-Dec-16 16:50:43

sleepingkoala you put lol at the end of your comment, but I bet you didn't really laugh out loud at about about what you wrote. DH/DMIL etc is exactly the same. They are just abbreviations commonly used so people understand the context/sentiment behind, even though the meaning is not literal.

gamerchick Tue 20-Dec-16 17:06:36

So they are, another thing to clutter my email up with grin

IcedVanillaLatte Tue 20-Dec-16 17:08:46

I hope it's not inconveniencing you at all @gamerchick


gamerchick Tue 20-Dec-16 17:10:32

Stobbit angry

IcedVanillaLatte Tue 20-Dec-16 17:12:14

Sorry @gamerchick sad

I think you can turn it off?

FoxesSitOnBoxes Tue 20-Dec-16 17:16:24

I read (although it could be bollocks) that DH and DD etc are easier to skim read and recognise than just the single letter D or H or S so the D needn't mean anything. Which is why I don't think it should be DMIL, just MIL. When I ready the abbreviations it just reads as husband etc, you don't need to mentally say the D bit

eurochick Tue 20-Dec-16 17:21:40

I'm with you, OP. I can't stand it. I've been on here for years and have never used it. It's so horribly twee.

Sparklingbrook Tue 20-Dec-16 17:22:52

I don't think there's a problem as long as everyone knows what you mean. If you want to write 'my first born son' instead of DS1 go right ahead.

That @ thing is ridiculous and I will be turning it off.

TragicallyUnbeyachted Tue 20-Dec-16 17:25:43

DH is just an Internet abbreviation for Husband. The D doesn't really stand for anything, although according to your mood it can stand for all sorts of different things in your head.

DMIL is a bit silly because MIL is already long enough to stand out as a unit when you're parsing a sentence.

Gowgirl Tue 20-Dec-16 17:26:22

Oh @gamerchick lets all do it! gamer bet we could spam your email lotsgrin

RichardBucket Sat 24-Dec-16 21:23:39

It is horribly twee and often causes confusion: is DF the poster's father, friend, or fiance?

All we can do is continue to type proper words and hope it catches on wink

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