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Buggies, changing rooms, buses and parking spaces

(33 Posts)
Maryz Thu 23-Jun-16 13:21:29

How about we compile a list of threads. So next time there is a bunfight we can link to the list of previous bunfights and save time.

Start with:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2667925-Disabled-baby-change

Maryz Thu 23-Jun-16 13:24:53

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2662362-Wheelchair-bus-case-on-BBC-News

Jasonandyawegunorts Thu 23-Jun-16 13:25:25

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1227321--to-use-the-disabled-loo-when-out-with-DD

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1682133-AIBU-to-use-the-disabled-toilet-at-the-restaurant-today

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2653850-Another-buggy-in-wheelchair-space-thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1034849-Not-Really-AIBU-but-amusing-twist-on-old-favourite-Disabled

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1372626-One-of-those-damned-disabled-toilet-threads

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1954932-To-have-used-the-disabled-loo-today

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2438050-To-see-if-I-can-get-hold-of-a-eurokey

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2558108-Using-disabled-toilet-with-IBS

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2343248-Was-I-BU-to-use-the-disabled-toilet

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1831716-Would-you-leave-your-baby-unattended-in-their-buggy

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/702381-to-expect-to-use-a-disabled-toilet-when-I-39

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2563732-to-have-told-off-colleague-for-using-disabled-toilet

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2238884-to-politely-decline-to-use-the-disabled-loo

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1350435-to-start-an-albeit-slightly-different-to-usual-disabled-toilets-thread

Samcro Thu 23-Jun-16 13:26:00

Good idea

Maryz Thu 23-Jun-16 13:27:05

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2644862-WWYD-in-this-situation

Maryz Thu 23-Jun-16 13:28:35

Thank you Jason.

I just thought we could keep it updated when we spot new ones, just to save arguments.

Jasonandyawegunorts Thu 23-Jun-16 13:30:18

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2613268-AIBU-to-think-that-the-disabled-loo-are-not-for-people-to-have-a-private-shit

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2466021-Disability-lift

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1498263-OP-response-re-getting-off-the-bus-for-a-wheelchair-user

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1003285-To-think-its-ok-to-use-the-disabled-toilet

Egosumquisum Thu 23-Jun-16 13:45:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Thu 23-Jun-16 16:29:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thurlow Thu 23-Jun-16 16:34:56

But where to draw the line on topics that have been discussed "too much"?

Jasonandyawegunorts Thu 23-Jun-16 16:42:51

Guys. I'm on your side. But this isn't a good idea.
I'm not sure anyone cares any more.

LyndaNotLinda Thu 23-Jun-16 16:43:30

These are the topics where the subject is effectively 'is it okay for me to be fucked off that disabled people get facilities that I can't access'

So it's not all topics by a long shot.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Thu 23-Jun-16 16:49:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz Thu 23-Jun-16 16:57:54

Nah, not a shitlist. There is no point in trying to make a shit list, they are all namechangers.

It's a demonstration that it's not just the odd thread, left up to educate the ignorant masses. It's an view held by loads of people that disabled people should just put up and shut up.

It's thread after thread after thread of people defending the indefensible.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Thu 23-Jun-16 17:00:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thurlow Thu 23-Jun-16 17:03:12

Stopping the issue being debated is not the way forward.

Maryz Thu 23-Jun-16 17:06:37

I'm not intending to stop debate.

I'm just hoping that next time someone says "but why are you all upset" I can actually refer to this and say "because we've done this a million times, and no matter how often we do it there is always some new poster who says but why should I wake my sleeping baby " [sigh]

PolitelyDisagree Thu 23-Jun-16 17:08:32

Good work Maryz. grin

I just groan whenever I see one of those threads. Some of them are so insincere (and that's being very charitable)

Maryz Thu 23-Jun-16 17:09:39

But I don't actually expect to achieve anything.

I'm just having a rant, really.

fuckin, if those threads were about race, for example, the entire thread would be deleted.

A few years there were massive race bunfights on mn (remember DP and the self-policing on the boards at the time?) - now self-policing isn't allowed, anything at all racist is deleted (as it should be) and alternative ways to goad are being found.

Because there are so many posters on mn who are either disabled themselves or have children with SN, it's an easy target.

Thurlow Thu 23-Jun-16 17:11:01

But it is. You may not intend it to stop debate, but just pointing people in the direction of old threads is not the same as actively engaging them in debate and reacting to the specific points they making. Which I agree, if it relates to waking a sleeping baby then it's bloody stupid and needs picking apart.

I haven't read many of the threads but you'd have to be blind on MN lately to see there has been a huge issue about disablist language and what has been allowed to stay. Saying "we've had enough of conversations about X topic" is not as effective as educating people and, by the looks of it, as MNHQ to have a better policy on what language and behaviour is acceptable.

PolitelyDisagree Thu 23-Jun-16 17:11:04

Btw my smiley grin looked a bit sinister. blush. Just to be clear I was being genuine when I said good work.

Maryz Thu 23-Jun-16 17:16:59

Why should we carry on educating? It's the same people being expected to educate, and I for one am fed up with it.

Anyone stupid enough to not recognise that you should fold a buggy if a wheelchair user wants to get onto a bus doesn't deserve the courtesy of a reasonable debate.

In the old days we would tell them to fuck off. We aren't allowed to any more, sadly.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse Thu 23-Jun-16 17:38:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

horizontilting Thu 23-Jun-16 17:46:20

We've had the whole "educating" debate, when posts and threads which were terrible used to be left up. Eventually, MNHQ changed their stance on that and agreed that actually it's not the responsibility of people with disabilities or their carers, family and friends to "educate" folk post awful stuff. I applaud HQ for having a think and evolving like that, changing their stance like that. I thought it a great step forward for the site and the kind of advocacy and decency that makes this site sometimes a wonderful one to be part of.

Lately the best way for a poster to get lots of attention is:
"Hi, I've namechanged for this....
I encountered someone with a disability on an accessible facility
I was terribly understanding
They were not polite to me
I feel bad and I have a small child
AIBU?

and then after couple of posts the OP leaves as the thread builds into a furore with the "My cousin's friend has a disabled child and she insisted his disability was no excuse ever to be rude" posts and the "but having a baby is very hard" (yes, it can be - what does that have to do with taking over an accessible space provided after years of campaigning and intended for someone who has no choice, and preventing them from using a facility at all?)

Things worked better for a while after HQ made that decision to delete disablist language but we need something new to tackle the way things are going here now.

I've been tempted to ask someone to write a "master post" that covers all the "educating" information in advance that we keep having to post and we could all post it every time the latest namechanger starts up, in advance of the very predictable posts to come. Replying to them before they start.

Jasonandyawegunorts Thu 23-Jun-16 18:00:57

I've been tempted to ask someone to write a "master post" that covers all the "educating" information in advance that we keep having to post and we could all post it every time the latest namechanger starts up, in advance of the very predictable posts to come. Replying to them before they start.

The problem is, the people making these comments think they know it all anyway, no amount of aducation is going to change anything.

Case in point, from the baby change thread:

practy Wed 22-Jun-16 17:20:09
Jason I know a lot more about disability than you probably do.

It's someone who clearly doesn't want education because they know more.

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