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Are there any guidelines/rules about PMs?

(10 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

SilverBirchWithout Thu 14-Apr-16 12:14:16

Now and again, after posting on a thread, I have received PMs from (sometimes mad, bad or sad) other posters taking issue about something I have said rather than on the thread itself. For example a few weeks ago someone PM'd several times because they had been asked by MNHQ to refrain from posting on the thread.

So far nothing that I couldn't handle by either ignoring of replying myself.

However, I can't help wondering how I would handle someone who was stalking/spamming me in some way.

Are there any guidelines or even an unwritten etiquette on how difficult PMs should be handled? Sometimes I feel like just copy and pasting the message on to the thread. It also concerns me that vulnerable posters could end up being bullied by PM comments that would normally be deleted if put on the thread itself.

Any thoughts/advice?

cozietoesie Thu 14-Apr-16 12:37:48

You'll see from the 'About Private Messaging' page - linked in your Inbox - that the Talk Guidelines also apply to PMs. Personally, I would also be concerned about messages being sent off-board which might adversely affect a vulnerable poster so even if I could let something wash over me personally, I might well report it to MNHQ on that basis. What further action MNHQ would take would be down to themselves. I suspect that unless it's a breach of Talk Guidelines, it's a judgment call on everyone's part.

I would never copy and paste a message onto a thread though, even if abusive or mean. Off-board is off-board for me.

DonkeyOaty Thu 14-Apr-16 12:40:50

As cozies said

I've reported PMs and also blocked sender if they appear to want to start something

RedToothBrush Thu 14-Apr-16 12:50:40

If in doubt report as possible harassment and block.

Even if it doesn't bother me if I think it has the potential to bother someone else.

PM are for friendly stuff only in my book.

SilverBirchWithout Thu 14-Apr-16 13:14:33

Thanks for the helpful replies. I have blocked the latest weird one.

No doubt it serves me right for posting on the conspiracy thread in the last couple of days or the religion/philosophy topic in the past. wink

BeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 14-Apr-16 13:23:34

Hi SilverBirch - as other posters have said (thank you all), talk guidelines do still very much apply to private messages, so do report if there's anything you'd like us to take a look at.

SilverBirchWithout Thu 14-Apr-16 13:26:41

Will do Becca

DropYourSword Thu 14-Apr-16 13:27:02

See, I would and have copy and pasted private messages I've received. I think it's disgraceful of posters to be horrible, mean abusive etc and hide it. So yeah, it's probably very passive aggressive but I think peoples bad behaviour needs to be highlighted. PMs are for friendly stuff only in my book too.

cozietoesie Thu 14-Apr-16 13:32:23

It's just a 'thing' I have - and have had for many years. I believe that if something is undertaken off-board, you keep it off-board and deal with it there, even if it's disgraceful or questionable behaviour. No reason to expose others to meanness.

HelenaDove Tue 25-Apr-17 02:20:34

Totally agree Drop. It makes it easier for the ppl who send these messages to manipulate and rewrite history if it is hidden.

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