Advanced search

Do you use private messaging on Mumsnet? Tell us why or why not.

(168 Posts)
FrannyMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 04-Nov-15 12:41:39

We want to know more about the way you use private messaging on Mumsnet. And how you feel about it.

Do you use private messaging on Mumsnet?

If NO: Can you say more about why not?

1. What type of things do you message for?
2. How often do you use messaging? Is this more or less than in the past?
3. What sort of messaging contact do you have with other Mumsnetters - a) Regular; b) As needed; c) One off ; d) A combination of these

Knowing about your experiences will be very valuable to us.


OnePlanOnHouzz Wed 04-Nov-15 12:46:22

I've had messages from people on Mumsnet and I respond via the same system ... It's all very easy to use.
Happy with it !! thanksthanks !

glenthebattleostrich Wed 04-Nov-15 12:48:38

I message to ask questions or offer assistance. I use it infrequently and as needed.

It's a good syste!, I like it.

BIWI Wed 04-Nov-15 12:50:12

Do you use private messaging on Mumsnet?

1. What type of things do you message for?

To ask someone I'm on a thread with about something specific, mostly on the Bootcamp threads where I might not have their direct contact details

To respond to questions I get - again, mainly from the Bootcamp threads

2. How often do you use messaging? Is this more or less than in the past?

Not very often - but has been consistent over the years

3. What sort of messaging contact do you have with other Mumsnetters - a) Regular; b) As needed; c) One off ; d) A combination of these

As needed

GloGirl Wed 04-Nov-15 12:50:29

1. Normally when I want to recommend something that would give me away so I will send info via PM.
2. About once a month.
3. B

BaBaBaBoomBoom Wed 04-Nov-15 12:52:37

I use it very rarely, it's awful not being able to read a 'conversation' on there.
I use it mainly to ask someone for more details on something they've said, but don't want to derail the thread.

ChipInTheSugar Wed 04-Nov-15 12:52:56

Yes but only occasionally (once every couple of months) - usually to the Woolly Hugs team about blanket info.

Mintyy Wed 04-Nov-15 12:54:37

I was just thinking today I haven't had any pms for ages sad. Had a look in my inbox and think I've only had about 20 this year. Probably sent half that number.

I kind of miss it, but I hardly know anyone on Mumsnet any more.

I used to use it for gossip, and once someone very kindly sent me some perfume.

Someone called Mattberryontoast accused me on a recent thread of sending a hateful pm. I really don't think I did but as Mattberry has not told me who he or she used to be, I'll never know.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Wed 04-Nov-15 12:56:37

Yes, I use it.
Sometimes to show support, and maybe 'share' something I didn't want to on thread. Sometimes the thread has moved on, and commenting on it would be apparently out of context, and look odd. I have always used it in similar amounts. There are MNers I keep in touch with. Combo of PM and other social media, FB and such. Probably 'D' in your options. smile

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 04-Nov-15 12:58:43

Very, very rarely because I'm billy no mates these days.

Back in the day I used to get loads <preens> but then I got a RL life and logged off for a bit, name changed blah blah blah.

HairsprayQueen Wed 04-Nov-15 12:58:51

No I don't.

Never had a reason to talk to anyone more personally really and obviously people feel the same about me!

iPaid Wed 04-Nov-15 12:59:35

Is it true that MNHQ have access to people's PMs?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 04-Nov-15 13:00:41

Yes of course IPaid.

ImperialBlether Wed 04-Nov-15 13:02:02

I use it quite a lot. I might send someone a message about a thread - not necessarily the OP. I write a lot to some of the women on a particular board, where we share an interest. My sister's on here and occasionally we'll use messages here instead of texts.

I really wish there was some way of seeing past conversations, beside scrolling through hundreds of messages.

I very rarely delete anything, which I need to get onto, too.

EBearhug Wed 04-Nov-15 13:03:49

1) Usually for things like exchanging email addresses, because I've offered to review a CV or proofread something, or to give more detailed information about something which I wouldn't do publicly, or to avoid derailing.

2) Haven't used it for months, but then I might PM a few different people in a short time.

3) D - a combination. Those MNers I am in regular contact with I mostly contact through Facebook, having first exchanged details via PM.

I don't use it often, but I'm glad it's availablewhen I do use it.

BIWI Wed 04-Nov-15 13:06:53

What I hate about PMs is when people use it to carry on the conversation 'behind the scenes' because they're too cowardly to post on the actual thread.

ImperialBlether Wed 04-Nov-15 13:08:18

Do you mean they're bitching about the OP, BIWI?

MarkRuffaloCrumble Wed 04-Nov-15 13:09:03

I have used it occasionally to say something identifying or more detailed that I don't necessarily want 'out there'.

Someone once put something really encouraging on a thread of mine and I felt a bit of a fraud as I had since gone back on all the great advice given by posters (LTB)!

I messaged her to fess up and she was really sweet about it, but I knew if I'd posted it on the thread I'd have been flamed.

I'm always chuffed when someone takes the time to send a PM, especially when they're in a similar position but maybe further down the road. They've seen the pitfalls of accepting every bit of MN wisdom as gospel and offer another view, without running the risk of being shouted down by the forceful majority.

KnottyAndPistey Wed 04-Nov-15 13:09:58

Hello, just marking place, this is going to need thinking time wine

OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer Wed 04-Nov-15 13:10:51

1. What type of things do you message for?

Chatting now and then, offering a bit of advice, receiving advice smile

2. How often do you use messaging? Is this more or less than in the past?

it varies, can be 1 x week, 0 x per week or 6 x a week.

3. What sort of messaging contact do you have with other Mumsnetters - a) Regular; b) As needed; c) One off ; d) A combination of these

B, as needed.

Sparklingbrook Wed 04-Nov-15 13:11:16

Why do MNHQ want to know this? What's changing? <suspicious>

GreenSand Wed 04-Nov-15 13:14:38

Yes, occasionally to add more details to a message, but not ones that I would want in a public forum.

My use is in waves and troughs. There was a patch of frequent messages with a lady in similar circumstances to me, and we now use facebook.
I couldn't say how frequently, but I have sent two today. That's very unusual.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 04-Nov-15 13:15:04

I have got PMs in the past asking me to give professional advice and I always, always tell them to post on a thread. Not least because if they want to engage me in a professional capacity for their own benefit they have to pay my hourly rate very reasonable, PM me for details wink and also because there's a big difference between dashing something off on Mumsnet where there are other people viewing and checking what is posted and giving other opinions and giving specific, personal advice.

But I like having the option. I used to pay a fiver for CAT. Remember them you cunts? grin

SurelyYoureJokingMrFeynman Wed 04-Nov-15 13:16:23


1) Mostly for stuff that could involve RL details.

Very occasionally to offer practical help or just be supportive. Normally I'd do that on thread, but I'd PM to avoid derailing a thread, or on a fast-moving thread where I'm afraid it will get missed, or when I just can't face getting into it with a baying mob busy eating the other poster for breakfast. I know the last is cowardly, but I reckon a PM is better than nothing at all, and also less likely to be missed.

2) Maybe one conversation a month or less. This is lower than when I was on a regular quiche thread.

3) b - as needed

BusShelter Wed 04-Nov-15 13:16:24

I use it rarely usually only to respond to a specific question that might be identifying. Very, very occasionally I send a supportive message to someone who is being flamed horribly for whatever reason.

I use it a few times a year.

I wouldn't miss it but it's handy to have.

I'm confusedangry when I hear of people sending nasty PMs

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: