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Is there any chance of this being addressed in the talk guidelines?

(14 Posts)
Iamscaredhelp Sat 13-Jun-15 15:52:55

I realise it is frustrating when people don't seem to be taking on board suggestions people have made to them but it is so remarkably unhelpful and arrogant when people start throwing remarks around like 'well why did you post then?'

It really puts me off posting here and asking for advice. I feel that I have to justify myself if I can't/won't follow on some course of action.

I realise I'm probably being a bit stupid but it's SO annoying!

GaryTheTankEngine Sat 13-Jun-15 16:01:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iamscaredhelp Sat 13-Jun-15 16:04:01

Oh yeah I understand that - I don't mean 'don't offer advice!'

What i mean is that - say someone says 'in your shoes I'd do x'
You say 'oh that's not really for me but thanks.'
'Well why did you post then? hmm'

It's not the offering of the advice but then the aggression when you can't follow it for whatever reason!

GaryTheTankEngine Sat 13-Jun-15 16:05:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon Sat 13-Jun-15 16:07:32

I have never seen it happen as you describe on your second post. Ive only seen it when poster after poster offers sound, sensible advice (and often the right advice) and the OP just ignores it or dismisses everything with a variety of excuses. In those cases, I think it is perfectly valid to ask why they posted.

Springtimemama Sat 13-Jun-15 16:07:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Sat 13-Jun-15 16:08:40

How would you word it, thoug?

"Please ensure you acknowledge any and all advice or suggestions offered, no matter how long the thread is"??

KingTut Sat 13-Jun-15 16:10:43

So what if someone doesn't do as suggested on mn timescale, the advice stands and the op may later take it. There can be a rabbid need by some posters for an instant resolution.

Iamscaredhelp Sat 13-Jun-15 16:11:36

STG no - that's not what I'm saying. I feel it's poor spirit and rude to say or imply someone shouldn't be posting.

It's so arrogant!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Sat 13-Jun-15 16:41:20

I am so sorry - I got totally the wrong end of the stick!

chickenfuckingpox Sat 13-Jun-15 16:43:35

whats winding me up is thread derailers (like me) who come on with something pointless and aggressive and fuck off again (like me) its so bloody irritating! grin

Iamscaredhelp Sat 13-Jun-15 16:49:35

Lol stg I think we have ALL done that!

SpringInTheStep Mon 15-Jun-15 11:05:10

The trouble is that some people just like to throw out problems and aren't really looking for solutions.

A close family member works in mental health and told me that a certain group of clients will find fault with any solution. They're often not seriously looking for help, as much as displaying whining and attention seeking behaviour, for which there is little remedy.

Having said that, the minority often ruin it for the majority. The thing about asking for advice is that you'll often get conflicting advice, so you can't possibly please all of the people all of the time, and some advice givers don't like that.

You just need to take what you want and leave the rest. Save yourself a few one-liners like "I asked for advice and will go away and think about it" or " I don't like that idea but I appreciate you taking the time to reply", or simply "I asked for help but am will not getting the answer that fits my problem, so will keep looking."

LoloKazolo Sat 20-Jun-15 17:31:57

YY Spring. It's called Why Don't You Yes But in Games People Play.

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