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Stay at home parent talk topic

(874 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

jsp56 Fri 15-May-15 16:50:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 15-May-15 18:05:44

Yes, count me in.
Only from the pov that some wohp don't think the same or have the same discussion points.
quite often sahp threads turn into bun fights and the original point being made is lost.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 15-May-15 18:06:59

I would change your thread title to sahp, so people know what your thread will be about.

You can do this by reporting your post and asking for it to be changed.

capsium Fri 15-May-15 18:12:18

I don't go out to (paid) work either so I could describe myself as a 'full time' parent. However parenting is not all I do. I think the term is problematic because also parents who work in paid employment still think of themselves as parents all the time - they are not part time parents.

Although yes, our lifestyle as parents, who are not in paid employment can be different to those who work - we have different considerations.

What to call it though?

Waltermittythesequel Fri 15-May-15 18:15:11

People don't stop being parents when they work.

Everyone who has dc is a full time parent.

PotteringAlong Fri 15-May-15 18:17:25

I work. In still a full time parent.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 15-May-15 18:18:06

hello OP.

I have reported your thread and hopefully they will change the title for you, so people aren't onfused as to the purpose of your thread. smile

AuntieStella Fri 15-May-15 18:21:04

Since having DC, I've worked full time, part time, as a very flexible volunteer and not at all.

I was a parent throughout, and can't think of anything that isn't covered by an existing topic.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 15-May-15 18:25:03

You have to remember OP, that wohp's are sometimes Babapapa like creatures who can parent children at home whilst simultaneously working in an office somewhere else.
They don't like being referred to as anything else other than full time parents confused

capsium Fri 15-May-15 18:32:16

I think, especially when I had first made the decision not to return to work, other like minded people just to say this was ok and I am not stupid or weird for choosing this would have been nice.

Now I care less about what other people think.

A low point was though when my DC's school would not allow my DC in school full time, due to SEN issues and I was still getting comments regarding lucky for some not having to work (some of it from school staff too)! MN was the only place that confirmed there were other people like me out there at the time.

jsp56 Fri 15-May-15 18:47:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 15-May-15 18:57:56

I think it's a good idea all round tbh.

Firstly to eradicate the usual bun fight
Second as said above, somewhere to go where like minded people are on the same page.
The amount of threads where wohp just don't get what you are talking about because they only experienced sahp briefly during mat leave.
It's a different concept when you aren't planning a return to work.

Waltermittythesequel Fri 15-May-15 19:25:35

Morethan your tone is rather sneery, tbh.

This is why bunfights start.

HagOtheNorth Fri 15-May-15 19:32:44

That's unpleasant Morethan.
So my OH, who was a SAH/WAH parent was full time and I was only part time? Because when I was at work, I forgot I had children?
What if I was only sleeping 5 hours a night, does that make me more FT than a SAHP who sleeps 8 hours and goes to the gym several times a week?
Your attitude is one of the reasons why there is so much defensiveness and tension between groups of women who should be supporting each other.

jsp56 Fri 15-May-15 19:34:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PattiODoors Fri 15-May-15 19:36:06

Well this is going well, innit.

Deffo full time parent is a divisive term.

Also, am sitting on my hands. Arf.

Cabbagesaregreen Fri 15-May-15 19:37:33

Not sure this forum is the right place. It tends to be open minded and not so closed to other views as you seem to want.

zzzzz Fri 15-May-15 19:40:36

I'm baffled that this is needed? What issues do you see as SO unique that people who work outside the home can't fathom?

ReallyAmAtBreakingPoint Fri 15-May-15 19:41:13

Not a good idea. Far too many topics already on MN. What would stop the bun fights would be women supporting each other instead of sneering at each other.

PattiODoors Fri 15-May-15 19:41:23

Oh. Ah. Right. A private space ain't possible on mumsnet, soz.

HarrietSchulenberg Fri 15-May-15 19:43:35

A parent is a parent no matter whether they are WOHP or SAHP.

We face the same issues. A SAHP does not face any parenting issue that a WOHP does not.

I think OP should probably be asking for a Work Gripes board for people to discuss matters relating to their working lives.

ChilliCrouton Fri 15-May-15 19:44:17

I think its an excellent idea, someone who is full time at home with their children has different challenges to someone who also WOH. I have nothing to add to a discussion on after school clubs or choosing a childminder, but a lot to talk about with other people who are full time with their children. It's not about whether one lifestyle is more right or wrong than the other, it's about a space to share experiences with someone whose day to day life looks more similar to your own surely?

TrueFact Fri 15-May-15 19:47:51

I work school hours. So, drop child at school, go to work, pick child up, go home, do homework/house/dinner etc. I spend as much time parenting as I would if I didn't work so what does that make me?

zzzzz Fri 15-May-15 19:48:46

but if we all huddle in little groups of people with lives that are as similar as possible to us, we'll miss much of the joy of MN.

fattymcfatfat Fri 15-May-15 19:50:03

I'm a sahm and I don't feel we need a new topic. or that wohms "don't get it"

we are all parents at the end of the day. we all do our best for our children. the only time I feel unsupported is when benefit bashing starts so I just stay off the goady threads.

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