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Please explain your deletion

(27 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sat 17-Jan-15 17:53:31

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2284010-Just-got-married-how-do-I-legally-change-my-name?msgid=51959653#51959653

On this thread. User marionhaste posted warning the op to be careful about changing Her name bcause it can be hard to change back if you get divorced. OP didn't like this but there was no personal attack in it, no offensive language, it did NOT break talk guidelines yet it has been deleted. Op says because it was hurtful. Is this your policy now? To delete different points of view when the OP finds th em hurtful? I'm furious!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 18-Jan-15 08:13:16

Any response? I see you've posted on the thread and told everyone to be nice to the op. Since when has mumsnet functioned like this? Deleting a post for offering an alternative perspective? Is marriage suddenly sacrosanct and above debate? Is this actually you and your wedding dot com where the only response allowed is 'hugs Hun aren't you a lucky bride'? You don't agree that mumsnet has become sanitised and anodyne then you delete a post that broke no talk guidelines just because it upset a bride's feelings hmm

I was following that thread and agree.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 18-Jan-15 08:29:54

Thanks who I'm glad im not the only one.

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 18-Jan-15 10:24:48

Hi there
We will have a look into this and get back to you

CaptainJamesTKirk Sun 18-Jan-15 10:29:48

It's not been deleted on my phone. I can still see it all. Are you sure it's been deleted OP and you've not just lost track of it?

CaptainJamesTKirk Sun 18-Jan-15 10:30:36

here.

CaptainJamesTKirk Sun 18-Jan-15 10:32:08

Oh I see... sorry you mean a poster's post got deleted. Not the whole thread. blush

Methe Sun 18-Jan-15 10:33:25

How ridiculous angry

GraysAnalogy Sun 18-Jan-15 10:33:31

Captain she meant a post.

GraysAnalogy Sun 18-Jan-15 10:34:05

Sorry x posts.

Seems very silly, especially considering we've been speaking about things like this happening

Gumnast2014 Sun 18-Jan-15 10:34:46

Totally agree Op

Iggi999 Sun 18-Jan-15 10:36:21

I read this thread but didn't see it pre-deletion - I assumed the poster must have called her a bitch or something to get deleted.

Koalafications Sun 18-Jan-15 10:38:35

Completley agree, OP.

AuntieStella Sun 18-Jan-15 10:41:01

Is it really now the case that we can only post on exactly the question the OP has asked - ie no thread can wander, no-one can post anything relevant but only tangentially relevant?

I didn't see the deleted post. If it was genuinely rude/insulting (ie a personal attack) then of course it should go. But if simply raising another angle of the whole name changing question, then I don't see why it needs to go. Because that's not a breach of talk guidelines.

I don't think being newlywed is any grounds for special consideration.

And if posts widening debate are to be deleted on one thread, then they should be on all (and there are oodles of them).

Does MNHQ have 'taste' guidelines on what we are free to say (short of personal attack)?

Koalafications Sun 18-Jan-15 11:10:12

I seen the post.

It was something along the lines of "if you do change your name don't start a thread on here complaining that the school refer to you as Mrs John Smith because you didn't realise you were taking your husbands full name"

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 18-Jan-15 12:30:38

No personal attacks
No posts that break the law
No trolling, misleading or deliberately inflammatory behaviour
No trollhunting
No spamming

Talk guidelines ^ this post didn't break them, but the OP found it "hurtful"

GraysAnalogy Sun 18-Jan-15 13:04:21

It'll probably be the whole 'spirit of mumsnet' thing that seems to be being used a lot more now, the one which is quite subjective!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 18-Jan-15 13:25:24

Indeed!
The spirit of mumsnet to me is all about offering alternative points of view and not toeing the line in terms of cultural and social expectations of gendered behaviour. The spirit of mumsnet is intelligent women questioning behaviour and choices.
Apparently not?

GraysAnalogy Sun 18-Jan-15 13:37:16

I thought so too, but I'm swaying towards us having to be nice huns

KatieKaye Sun 18-Jan-15 13:40:48

that deletion seems more than a bit precious.
I don't see why the OP being newly wed warrants the deletion of a post giving factual information (even if she was black-affronted by it) and then a "warning" from MN to be nice.

emotionsecho Sun 18-Jan-15 14:20:37

Ehric the post you referenced in your OP is showing on the thread when I look at it, I'm on the mobile site if that makes any difference. One post has been deleted, from comments I think it is one that called the author of the post you reference a bitch.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 18-Jan-15 14:37:27

Looks as though it has been reinstated. The post was definitely deleted yesterday - you can see Marion and the OP referencing the fact.

HQ, thanks for making the right call, any response on here?

It has been reinstated, I would have described it as "raining on someone's parade" at worst.

GraysAnalogy Sun 18-Jan-15 15:07:01

Yes it's been reinstated. A shame it had to be questioned in the first place though.

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