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Good morning all

(171 Posts)
Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 08:32:23

Can I start off this lovely day by scattering peace and love, gin and valium, flowers and cake and invite you all to a chatty, fun-and-poetry-filled thread where all are welcome and life can get back to normal.

I will even don my Christmas hat grudgingly and a week early


ghostonthecanvas Fri 06-Dec-13 08:35:36

Morning Maryz. Peace, goodwill and peas right back atcha. <dons hat, settles to read some reet good poetry>

DeckTheHallsWithBoughsOfHorry Fri 06-Dec-13 08:35:38

When your bottom burps in public
Try to say in time
"Goodness gracious what a whiff!
"It doesn't smell like mine."


Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 08:40:12

Oh, good one Deck smile

I thought this might be appropriate

"Twas the night before Christmas when Santa got ready
He'd drink his first shot to make his hands steady

He'd load up his sleigh with toys and good cheer,
not forgetting his ice chest with a 12 pack of beer

He was a jolly old elf and worked with a grin,
but remembered the brats then gulped his slo-gin

In a drunken stupor down the chimney he'd fall,
then when he was done... to his reindeer he'd call...

"Hey Bud, hey Miller, hey Coors" he'd shout,
"Throw me a rope so I can get out!"

He flew all night long not a house was excluded
leaving toys and a note "Batteries NOT included"

He looked in his sack and said "I'm just about done",
but then he was sleigh-jacked by a kid with a gun

So now Christmas is over and Santa is sober...

But you could hear him exclaim as he walked out of sight
"Hand me a Heineken and give me a light!""

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 09:02:14

The Lovesong of Sundry Mumsnet Junkies

LET us go then, you and I,
When the internet is spread out against the sky
And has us etherized upon our laptops;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted threads,
The muttering retreads
Of restless talk at reason’s furthest reaches
And virtual restaurants with friendly quiches:
Threads that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question….
Oh, do not ask, “Why was my thread deleted?”
Or the whole saga will be repeated.

In the chatroom the women come and go
Talking of everything but Michelangelo.

XmasLogAndHollyOn Fri 06-Dec-13 09:04:38

I've been working on something for the holidays.

On the first day of Techmas my user gave to me
A hard drive in a PC

On the second day of Techmas my user gave to me
Two change requests and a hard drive in a PC

And so on. I may work in IT in case you missed the theme grin

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 10:00:53

Good morning

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 13:51:21

This thread obviously isn't bunfighty enough grin

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:16:36

I should have kept my TS Eliot powder dry for a busier thread. I'll have to find another Elioty thread to nonchalantly sandwich it into.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 14:18:51

you could start one, all innocent and unknowing, that just happens to fit the bill, like "Prufrock for a girl, Y/N?"

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:38:05

"Coffee spoons -- essential accessory or social gaffe?"

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 14:41:37

I know nothing about Elliot.

I was stuck with Yeats and kavanagh

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:48:17

I know nothing about him either, but I can't let ignorance and lack of empathy for him stand in the way of a bit of shallow travesty.

I can't really get hold of poetry. I can't be still enough. I always want to plunge forward to some sort of resolution so I get on better with novels.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 14:49:59

butthereagain, just saying that shows the most marvellous appreciation of poetry. how odd that you say you can't get hold of it

come on maryz let's have some (yeats and kavanagh)

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 14:50:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kotinka Fri 06-Dec-13 14:51:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 14:51:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 14:53:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:56:07

Hello hothead. I've a feeling that everyone on this thread knows each other in some prior incarnation or other. I recognise you. (I am a former worm of the thready variety, ashamed to be slumming in the MN Quality Street tin still, even though there are only empty wrappers and the coconut ones left .) I hope things are going ok for you.

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 14:57:33

Really? does everyone know each other? I know you ButThereAgain - that is I do now. Do you know me?

youretoastmildred Fri 06-Dec-13 14:58:02

are there loads of once-self-pleasurers on this thread?

ButThereAgain Fri 06-Dec-13 14:59:25

I thought I might do mildred, from a couple of your posts on that awfully wicked deleted thread about poterkins, but perhaps I am wrong.

ghostonthecanvas Fri 06-Dec-13 15:01:11

Ladies, this fred is too zen, too nice,
Too quiet. It needs debate, a dice
To throw, a topic that causes a flurry,
Nothing to meaty, nowt to cause worry,
No bunfights,. Only good cheer,
Some bad grammer and beer.
Its cosy, all fuzzy, welcoming and warm,
quick sound the klaxon horn, on your feet,
As we standby for HQ to decide to delete.

Mmm. Never done poetry. Can you tell grin

Maryz Fri 06-Dec-13 15:02:09

My son has won his school poetry competition.

I didn't believe him. I thought he was joking fblush. That's how much of a Poetry Philistine I am.

HotheadPaisan Fri 06-Dec-13 15:02:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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