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Vipers' nest? Come counter our hissy rep with your stories of Mumsnet Niceness

(486 Posts)
HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 12-Apr-13 10:42:32


Well, it's been bit of a week, hasn't it? <understatement>

And we don't know about you but we think it's time folks outside MN knew a bit more about the lovely side of Mumsnet. All this stuff about harridans and vipers' nests kinda feels a bit lopsided to us - and is certainly making us pull on our Uggs wink and want to redress the balance a bit.

We're really chuffed to see such kind words about MN on Talk at the moment and also to see blogs like MmeLindor's that focus so beautifully on the "other side" of Mumsnet.

But we also want to publish, for all the world and the odd tabloid journo to see, a kinda showcase/archive of all the Lovely & Nice Things Mumsnetters Have Done over the years. And we'd really like your help with that, please.

Obviously, we have lots of Mumsnet Loveliness in mind already: ranging from Woolly Hugs to the Christmas Appeal and including everything from the lost toy on Blackpool Pier to the small acts of kindness shown every day from one MNer to another in need of help, advice or support.

But we really want you to tell us, too, about the Lovely Things you've seen (or taken part in) on Mumsnet. Please post them here - with links to the threads if you possibly can.

We'll read them all and, when we've run out of tissues, we'll publish some of your favourites for all the world to see.

Oh, and here's a pic of (warm and lovely) nest of vipers, courtesy of the fab women behind Woolly Hugs, to kinda set the tone smile

5madthings Fri 12-Apr-13 11:51:25

It was neithershreddednorsmug who helped me with ds4's bday present after i mentioned it on the running thread.

Isabeller Fri 12-Apr-13 11:55:58

Sanity and kindness from HQ.

I have got masses personally from MN support, laughs and watching the occasional bunfight (as long as the bun's are soft) but it is the way HQ deals with everything, modelling the best kind of parent, which I most appreciate. You make it as safe as possible without being overprotective.

If someone is unwell and being unpleasant you appear to deal with it as kindly and fairly as possible.

I have no idea of the context but I saw someone getting unbanned when their child was ill. I've seen nasty attacks dealt with quickly and lots of humour and gentle reminders of the guidelines.

There are quieter and kinder areas for sensitive discussion and huge robust bouncy castles for letting off steam.

Oh dear, getting teary now, whatever next. Might need a tissue box emoticon xx

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 12-Apr-13 11:56:35

That whenever anyone posts a "Please help", there are 5-10 practically instant "here for you" responses, even in the middle of the night.

All the Bereavement threads, of course, MiasMummy being just one example.

Magna Fri 12-Apr-13 12:03:01

If it wasn't for MN I wouldn't have met some wonderful people who have become very dear friends.

We all live around the world but they have always been there for me no matter how small or big a problem.

If it wasn't for MN and MardyBra I wouldn't have these wonderful ladies in my life so a massive thanks from me.

OrWellyAnn Fri 12-Apr-13 12:16:41

Can't find the thread, but the op had an ectopic pregnancy and didn't realise it, and mn posters convinced her to get to hospital, which probably saved her bacon. There have been so many like this over the years. But it's not just the bigger 'media worthy' stories that make MN so special. It's the FACT that every single day on here someone reaches out and others rise to the occasion and provide support, advice, humour and insight that make a hard situation manageable. Our generation is the first that has had such an enormous resource (the web) to draw on for support and knowledge and company and I think MN exemplifies the use of this at it's very best. In RL the sense of community has been lost in so many ways and I see a genuine sense of community on here which is available to anyone with the ability to see past the jiggles (which you have to do in RL too right? We live on earth, not in some fairy dreamland where everyone is always saccharine to one another)
The naysayers can't have been on here very long if they have missed this, and must mostly have visited AIBU... Because you can't help but stumble on it everywhere you turn on other threads.

OrWellyAnn Fri 12-Apr-13 12:17:54

Jiggles?? Niggles, by which I mean occasional narkiness...

hypnotizingchickens Fri 12-Apr-13 12:24:50

Mn has brought me some wonderful RL friends.

Mn has brought me a sense of connection with others that is amazing and astonishing.

Mn has brought me an enormous sense of pride that women could have created, and still be creating, such an astonishing, powerful, and novel form of communication and community in this modern age.

I think that last one goes some way to explaining the quite bewildering animosity that is directed at us at the moment. It frightens me. And anger me.

I think mn is amazing. Truly amazing. My personal belief is that it marks a real potential power-shift in terms of gender relations and in terms of communication forms (and that such a communication shift might have women at the front of it is soooo cool ... I get v. excited about that!).

I am constantly astonished by the kindness, sense and wisdom that is shown on mn. The fact that that is being silenced by propaganda emphasising a supposed negative side ... very worrying. Whose interests does that serve?

Anyway ... other lovely things ....

I love Secret Santa, and Woolly Hugs, and the many small acts of kindness. But for my money the ultimate thing about mn is that it allows women to share words, when words are needed, when words are the most important things you could have, when the giving and taking of words is as necessary as breath. And also it allows us to share the words that describe and make our lives: funny; horrible; banal; amazing; sublime; inept, deft.

I luuuuurrrve mn.

ForYourEyesYoni Fri 12-Apr-13 12:25:24

All the 'big' ones mentioned here, but also the way in which you can ask for help on anything, and people will kindly give their opinion/experience/views.

Recently, I've pondered about what new phone to buy, and got loads of helpful replies. I've dipped a toe into the world of Ebay-ing, and had a gazillion questions, all of which had probably been answered before, all of which people took the time to help me with.

hypnotizingchickens Fri 12-Apr-13 12:26:06

"Our generation is the first that has had such an enormous resource (the web) to draw on for support and knowledge and company and I think MN exemplifies the use of this at it's very best."

i really agree with what you said there, Orwellyan.

YonirockandrollbutIlikeit Fri 12-Apr-13 12:30:30

In the last week or so, two different posters have said that their husbands had chest pain and were refusing medical help. In both cases the OPs were advised (i.e. told!) to call 999. IIRC one of the men had had a heart attack and received treatment, and the other had pneumonia.

Ongoing support for posters in hospital who are bored / scared / desperate.

Ongoing support for a MNer whose relative was stabbed (he's on the way to recovery smile).

Helping one woman (that I know of) leave a hideous relationship in which she was abused daily. She posted in relationships and it went from there - she was helped physically, emotionally and financially to leave this horrible man.

The support I've received when life feels really shit in the middle of the night and there's no-one I can talk to in real life.

Long running threads to help MNers with alcohol problems, toxic parents and emotionally abusive relationships.

Useful links from posters in the relationship section.

Hands held during particularly scary and awful moments. Hugs given for bereavements, PND or crappy days.

And the laughter, obviously. smile

headlesslambrini Fri 12-Apr-13 12:30:52

Maryz thread in teenagers, it lets you know that we are not alone and that we havent been bad parents because our dcs make the wrong decisions sometimes.

MN is there for the toughest times in a parents life, from conception to death. It is a constant which will hug you, cry with you, laugh with you and most importantly be honest with you whether you want to hear it or not. Day or night, MN will never let you down. It has, quite honestly, helped me to trust in people again.

cupofteaplease Fri 12-Apr-13 12:31:05

When my dd3 was born, I was told she was going to die. I had no idea where to turn, other than to MN. Hundreds of anonymous posters offered me support in those early days, and as it became clear dd was going to hang on as long as possible, the wonderful folk on the SN children's board helped me to fight for Beatrice and offered solutions that no medical professional was willing to suggest. Many times Beatrice became seriously ill, and each time, MN was there with prayers or kind wishes.. Eventually after 13 glorious but exhausting months, Beatrice passed away, but MN didn't abandon me. Some lovely MNers even came to her funeral. I'd be nowhere without MN and I know for sure I wouldn't have had the strength or expertise to give Beatrice the life she had, if it hadn't have been for you guys. Thank you MN, you filthy nest of vipers, you...

TSSDNCOP Fri 12-Apr-13 12:31:43

I've had help from lovely, generous women when asking about how to cope with DS's SEN.

I was inspired by the Debka house-tidying thread. We had a massive clear-out on Sunday and prior to starting I said to DH we were going to do a Debka. He was confused

BornToFolk Fri 12-Apr-13 12:35:43

There were photos on Facebook recently of Billie's Blankets going off to Malawi and it made me very proud to be a Woolly Hugger. The posts from parents of children who have received a Little Hug make me realise how much of a difference they can make and inspire me to make more!

One of the threads that always sticks with me is the mum in Canada who posted about how she worried that it was going to be a rubbish Christmas as she couldn't afford many presents etc for her small daughter. Loads of people responded with excellent ideas about cheap/free things to do and presents to make. The OP ended up being really excited about Christmas. It was properly heart-warming and lovely.

On a personal note, the very wise regulars on the Relationship board gave me tremendous supprt and advice when exP had an affair and walked out (nearly a year ago! shock) They were right about everything and I don't think I'd have coped nearly so well without them.

TSSDNCOP Fri 12-Apr-13 12:36:16

Hi Cup, I think if you and Beatrice often. I was certain I'd see a post from you here.

I hope you and your family are well xx

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 12-Apr-13 12:39:02

Admission, prh47bridge and tiggytape are endlessly patient and helpful on school admissions.

wheredidiputit Fri 12-Apr-13 12:41:26

There have been many threads on various subjects over the years which led to tears, either happy,funny or sad.

There have been threads that the person posting has been living in sheer hell but not knowing quite how bad it is because it has become their life. And only with help from the outside can they then see what every one else sees.

It doesn't matter what time you post their is always someone to help or listen.

I'm on thread at the moment where OP has had the year from hell and just had a baby and someone set up a google map to show the OP from where everyone is. And it was amazing to see that the support for the OP was not just in Britain but across the whole world.

But I do wonder if any newspaper would publish the 'true' face of Mumsnet as it not how they want us to be seen.

motherinferior Fri 12-Apr-13 12:42:32

I started a thread on MN 10 years ago, saying I was thinking of having a home birth but I was scared.

The encouragement and support I got was what kept me going with my home birth plans.

I started another thread a few months later asking for help with keeping on breastfeeding.

The encouragement and support was what kept me going with breastfeeding till my baby was 18 months old.

I've posted about days when I've been going off my head with exhaustion, days when I've resigned in tears from my job, days when I've felt as if I'm swimming uphill through custard....and again and again, I've had encouragement and support.

That's why I stay.

Well, that and the fact there are lots of bright funny posters who make me laugh, obviously.

YonirockandrollbutIlikeit Fri 12-Apr-13 12:43:10

I've just remembered another one - cheering someone on to finish their (slightly terrifying) assignment.

motherinferior Fri 12-Apr-13 12:43:13

PS one major thing that DOES put me off is the view that all journalists are Evil and to be Despised, though. I am a journalist and I am quite nice.

Hard to put into words isn't it - but agree with Orwellyan that we are the first generation to have had this amazing resource - essentially each other's friendship, wisdom, and humour - to draw on in such a broad way through the internet.
It's been amazing to see what we've made of it. The Woolly Hugs are just one wonderful manifestation of this creativity. The kind, encouraging words offered here every day are it's bedrock.

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Fri 12-Apr-13 12:44:25

The ectopic pregnancy was spookycharlotte, orWellyAnn It must have been in chat because it's not showing in a search. Haven't seen her around for years.

wheredidiputit Fri 12-Apr-13 12:45:47

Sorry Motherinferior I didn't mean journalist but more the editors who listen more to would be 'famous' people, rather then looking at the whole picture.

MrsJohnHarrison Fri 12-Apr-13 12:52:23

Maybe not so 'important' as the others, but who remembers Nagoos MOOG?
I loved sending my wee packages away and receiving some lovely things too. I've still got the keyring NorksAreMessy made smile

MaureenMLove Fri 12-Apr-13 12:55:03

Gosh, where do you start? For the oldies amongst us, there was Mile for Maude and who can forget Pink Peter! I vaguely remember someone who was really nervous about travelling on a train and somehow it was arranged that there'd be a MNer at every station along her journey? Did that actually happen, or am I that old, I'm making it up! grin

I'm very lucky that I haven't needed any major support for anything in my life, but I did put out a call for a lost toy once, for one of my mindees. She was going into hospital for pretty major surgery and her parents were distraught at the loss of her favourite toy. They mentioned it to me and within 48 hours, a replacement was found and delivered to me.

There are some (and have been) some lovely people on here. I used to love frequenting Lizzies Tea Shop, The Childminders Staff Room and not forgetting the BBBAAAARRR!

It never ceases to amaze me, the kindest and generosity of complete strangers to one another.

Long live Mumsnet! grin

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