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Let's talk about sex toys (well, ads for them on Mumsnet), please

(487 Posts)
HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 07-Oct-11 11:51:47

Hello.

We'd like your opinions, please, on Mumsnet taking ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys.

We accepted a campaign for one site like this earlier in the week - and then removed it after receiving a fair number of complaints.

So, what we need to know now is...

Do you mind ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys - generally speaking?

Does it matter which stores/sites these are? And what kind of stuff they're selling?

And, if you wouldn't run a mile from these kinds of ads, would you be happy to see them all over Mumsnet (with the obvious exception of our more sensitive topics such as Bereavement, Special Needs, Relationships, Miscarriage etc)? Or would you prefer them only to be in Chat?

Do please post and let us know your thoughts.

Thanks MNHQ

CotherMuckingFuntingZombie Fri 07-Oct-11 12:06:33

Do we get discounts? grin

HarrietJones Fri 07-Oct-11 12:08:30

Chat is ok, not sure I'd be seeing it in the right place on weaning etc but I've no problem on the 'fun' bits of MN

HarrietJones Fri 07-Oct-11 12:14:04

Just read the other thread. There's def elements of that site that don't sit right with me.

LoveBeingAMummyAgain Fri 07-Oct-11 12:20:50

Doesn't bother me but will go over to the other thread cause tbh I didn't see the ads you mean.

marge2 Fri 07-Oct-11 12:23:35

I would not want to see them. Tacky tacky tacky! I think less of you now I know you have shown them. If peole want sex toys they can go looking for them. I dont want to see them where I am not expecting them.

caramelwaffle Fri 07-Oct-11 12:25:20

The adverts certainly shouldn't be placed in the more sensitive forum areas of this site.

MrsVidic Fri 07-Oct-11 12:26:50

I think its fine in chat, aibu, well anywhere except being a parent stuff and bereavement etc.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 07-Oct-11 12:27:55

HarrietJones

Just read the other thread. There's def elements of that site that don't sit right with me.

OK, Harriet - what sites/stores would sit right with you? If you're in favour of these ads, broadly speaking, where would you draw the line between "acceptable" <channels Supernanny> and "unacceptable"?

ScaredTEECat Fri 07-Oct-11 12:28:54

Feel free to accept any advertising you want, so far as I am concerned. I don't see ads anyway, even if I don't have my Adblock. I have an internal ad blocker! grin

lubeybooby Fri 07-Oct-11 12:29:15

I don't mind them at all. There are some areas of the site where they might not sit so well, like 'relationships' but I don't see anything wrong with them being advertised in _Chat or whatever.

The things people are objecting to like 'sexy school uniforms' etc are intended for consenting adult couples who are just having a bit of fun in the confines of their own bedroom.... it's harmless!

GeneralDisarray Fri 07-Oct-11 12:29:43

I think most of lovehoney is fun and innocent - for the most part it's 'dubious' elements are only catering to fetishes which exist in men and women, which is kind of their job - its not really for them as a company to judge the issues. i agree keep it off relationships - but on the lighthearted area why the hell not, if you don't want to see the scary fetishes bits don't look.... also their sex toys are very reasonably priced compared to anne summers etc grin

nethunsreject Fri 07-Oct-11 12:31:48

I've no objection to a site which sells sex toys.

I DO have a problem with a site that sells stuff which perpetuates stereotypes such as sexy schoolgirl or sexy nurse. And which sells items which (imo) go way beyond the classification of 'sex toy' I'm talking speculums, chastity belts etc. Stuff which is really demeaning to women.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 07-Oct-11 12:33:02

caramelwaffle

The adverts certainly shouldn't be placed in the more sensitive forum areas of this site.

No, if we took them, they absolutely wouldn't be, caramelwaffle - that's a given.

Wurg Fri 07-Oct-11 12:33:39

If MN had a Friday Night wink topic then it would be appropriate to have sex toy ads in there.

I know you've been reluctant to create a Sex topic because of the attraction for trolls, but surely posters who are robust enough to discuss the more colourful aspects of their sexual reportoire are also robust enough to discourage any piss-takers and flag up troll activity to HQ.

I don't really think that sex toy ads would be particularly appropriate anywhere else. Maybe Toys Reunited?

GeneralDisarray Fri 07-Oct-11 12:33:51

X post there a bit lubeybooby excellent name!

Hullygully Fri 07-Oct-11 12:35:43

"Toys" (vom) that are mutually fun for both partners are ok. Absolutely anything that contributes to the demeaning or objectification of women isn't. That includes films, stereotyped outfits: nurses, schoolgirls etc

It really does undermine what is good about this site and makes it look a bit shit and desperate

lubeybooby Fri 07-Oct-11 12:36:01

But nethunsreject the people who use those things are consenting adults. They are not being used as some kind of weapon - they are pleasure enhancers. Ok so that kind of thing isn't for you, and you might not be able to understand how someone could possibly find it exciting, but plenty do! and what they get up to is up to them and not for anyone else to judge it as 'demeaning'

Each to their own.

Hullygully Fri 07-Oct-11 12:37:46

lubey - the point is they come from, and contribute to, a perception and presentation of women as passive and lesser. If they are advertised here, it implies that they are accepted and condoned.

lubeybooby Fri 07-Oct-11 12:39:23

But there are plenty of things on that site that aren't gender specific, and plenty of things aimed at being used on males who are submissive in the bedroom. It isn't just items aimed at being used on females (who are submissive in the bedroom)

site needs to make money, therefore so long as a rampant rabbit dosen't strart hopping roundthe screen evey so often ala cbeebies ads I don't really care !

cloudsandwind Fri 07-Oct-11 12:42:21

Sex toys is a bit of a euphemism. LoveHoney, who've been allowed to advertise here, sell BDSM torture instruments, sub-paedophile schoolgirl outfits, medical fetish gear and as someone put it on the other thread - plastic arseholes. They also sell porn in plain wrapping. It seems like you were happy for Mumsnet to be taking advertising from shops selling this kind of stuff.

Are you happy for the Musment brand to be associated with this:

glow in the dark pussy opener speculum
ball gags
strait jacket worn by a model with blacked eyes
adult plastic baby diapers
strap on
www.petrajoy.com/shop/index.asp?prod=PJF04

It's not exactly Mark Warner or the Great Little Trading Company is it?

nethunsreject Fri 07-Oct-11 12:42:36

lubey, as Hully said, they normalise the sexualisation of women in stereotypical and utterly tasteless ways.

I would add that choices are not made in a vacuum. They are made in a societal context.

MrsKaramel Fri 07-Oct-11 12:43:32

I agree with Nuns, (and Hully). Tacky at best, unpleasant and demeaning at worst.

There must be advertisers knocking down your doors surely? Must be better companies to deal with.

Hullygully Fri 07-Oct-11 12:44:49

Dear lord. Asylum woman has a dolly on the floor too....

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