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MNHQ please can we have an "elderly parents" section?

(94 Posts)
ssd Sat 27-Aug-11 09:17:36

this subject is so relevant to many of us yet there is nowhere to discuss the feelings of loss/guilt/anger/worry many of us have, not to mention having a discreet laugh and chat when it all gets too much

I think this would be a really useful and sympathetic section for those of us struggling with elderly mums or dads


FruStefanLindman Sat 27-Aug-11 10:01:51

I second that <gavel>

SophieRMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 27-Aug-11 11:20:14

Great idea. We do have a 'Carers' section but perhaps this is not quite that because although you are dealing with your parents you are not necessarily the 'carers'.

FruStefanLindman Sat 27-Aug-11 15:21:28

SophieRM. You are correct, many of us who are (who have been) looking after our elderly parents don't see ourselves as 'carers' - or probably wouldn't 'get' that the 'Carers' topic applies to us.

I think ssd has a good point that a new, separate topic might help.

wompoopigeon Sat 27-Aug-11 15:43:21

Another vote for this topic.

ssd Sat 27-Aug-11 19:51:09

thanks Sophie, hope you get the topic going, personally it would really help me to have some posters who would be able to discuss things that they have personnel experience of, its hard to talk about your elderly parents when most of your friends mums or dads are a good 15 years younger than yours and are at an entirely different stage

what section would it be in?

FruStefanLindman Sat 27-Aug-11 20:08:08

Hopefully, ssd, MNHQ might give us a brand new topic called 'Elderly Parents', given that it was your suggestion in the first place. smile

FruStefanLindman Sat 27-Aug-11 20:25:05

ssd. Another thought, why don't you post a thread in Chat and AIBU about this - with a link to this thread - asking for more 'votes'. I'm guessing a number of MNers don't actually 'visit' Site Stuff very often.

ChessPiece Sat 27-Aug-11 20:28:20

Another vote here.

I don't "care" for my Mum as such but have issues around her getting old and all that entails in terms of things like her not accepting help when offered, not being realistic about money, not adjusting her lifestyle to new health circumstances etc. Would be good to share experiences and ideas.

ssd Sat 27-Aug-11 20:49:27

oh fru, I'm hopeless at links!

I think even without loads of people seeing this MNHQ would probably agree it is a relevant topic to many of us , I don't really know how they make up their minds as to if and how to invent a new topic

I hope they do though, I have so many ishoos regarding this topic and theres no one to discuss it with, it kills me

FruStefanLindman Sun 28-Aug-11 05:42:37

ssd, I've just realised what you meant by 'what section'? I always look at the A-Z of Topics, I don't bother trawling through the various sections. I'm sure if MNHQ do start a new Elderly Parents topic, they'll tell us what 'section' they're going to put it in.

Sadly my Mum died last year - but I had a few years where I, too, was struggling with those 'ishoos' sad

saffronwblue Sun 28-Aug-11 05:54:44

another vote here.

hildathebuilder Sun 28-Aug-11 07:13:58

another vote here, albeit in my case its my mil.

ssd Sun 28-Aug-11 20:39:07

so MN who decides these things, is it a monday morning meeting jobby?

paulapantsdown Sun 28-Aug-11 20:43:43

I vote yes please. It would be nice to talk to someone who might have a Dad as bloody infuriating and hard to handle as mine! smile

StealthPolarBear Sun 28-Aug-11 20:45:13

Has SophieMN not been on and said it's a great idea? Does that not mean yes? confused

paulapantsdown Sun 28-Aug-11 20:48:52

On another (related) subject, does MNHQ think there might be interest enough in a section for siblings within the special needs forum. There are lots of us adult siblings of brothers or sisters with a disability, and there are lots of issues relating to the responsibilities and worries this brings. I feel sometimes that I have no one to talk to who understands. It would be great to find them here.

FoundWanting Sun 28-Aug-11 20:49:46

I started a thread in Chat this week looking for this very thing.

I was very helpfully directed to the 'Carers' threads, but my questions are much more vague and I'm not actually caring for anyone.

I bet my FIL could give your dad a run for his money, paula grin

StealthPolarBear Sun 28-Aug-11 20:52:28

Was there not a "sandwich generation" topic a little while ago, for this sort of thing?

franke Sun 28-Aug-11 20:57:49

A couple of years back they introduced a topic called "The Sandwich Generation" which was aimed at mners who were also dealing with elderly parents. I think we were a bit non-plussed by the name, cue lots of cheese and pickle jokey threads and it disappeared quite quickly.

So in principle I think (as we all get older) this would be a useful topic.

franke Sun 28-Aug-11 20:58:27

Ha, spb grin

FruStefanLindman Mon 29-Aug-11 09:03:34

ssd. As it's a Bank Holiday today, I guess it will be another couple of days before it appears.

flimflammery Mon 29-Aug-11 09:19:37

Good idea, I would read and post on an 'elderly parents' topic. My father is in a care home. sad

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Mon 29-Aug-11 09:26:00

Brillant idea, my mum has only just turned 60 and whilst not quite at the stage yet that this sort of topic would deal with things have started moving in that direction since dad died last year. Her mother lived to 90 and my mum was her main support and I can see many things heading the same way already.

So let's get this one started and established before I need it wink

AMumInScotland Mon 29-Aug-11 10:26:03

Yes, I think "Sandwich Generation" wasn't really understod, which is why it didn't get much use, but "Elderly parents" makes more sense. DH and I aren't carers for our respective parents, but there are plenty of issues all the same!

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