Needing a male prostitute...

(67 Posts)
Spiderling Tue 06-Apr-21 22:41:00

I’ve a very high sex drive, yes have some fun ‘helpers’ from Ann Summers etc - but I can’t take this any longer; I want to be touched and held.

Long story short happy married, 10 yr old son and love husband truly, but one catch - I’m 41, husband is 62....Yes, 21 year gap.

Not having erectile problems or anything, but no interest at al!!! No intimacy for a bloody long time now, have tried everything from books to advice online so now really, seriously thinking about professional escort/gigolo/prostitute - but just don’t know where to look or how to hire! I don’t want an affair - basically I just need a good fuck, so so badly!!

Anyone with any advice or ideas? Thank you ladies and sorry if I seem a bit blunt 🤭

OP’s posts: |
Credenhill22 Tue 06-Apr-21 22:50:27

PM me

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 06:31:10

Sounds awful for you, OP!!!! Impossible to live without sex and touch.

Why don’t you just find a no strings fuck buddy, as they call them?! I think there are lots of men out there who would help ... !!
I don’t think it’s an affair - the same idea as male escort but just free?

I don’t think men get attached, if they know it’s a no strings deal. You could just go on some website and say you want a guy to fuck you let’s say at least twice a week, and then you can leaf through the offers.?

I know the impersonal escort idea appeals, though. Hmm yes now I’m starting to think properly about it, it really does ... he’d pleasantly do whatever you asked, or you could just ask him to do what he thinks would be best ...

Help. I’m a morning person. Better calm down right now! 😉

Will your DH know about this?

MisterT373 Wed 07-Apr-21 10:26:29

Plenty of men looking for NSA on Fabswingers. Save your money.

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 10:41:16

@MisterT373 hm but it's the 'swingers' bit that puts me off. And the 'fab'.

I don't want a swinger. ....

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 10:42:25

Well and also only go for free love but - in the OP's situation paying for it guarantees a certain deal, I guess?

MisterT373 Wed 07-Apr-21 12:23:55

@Parkerwhereareyou i wouldn't get too hung up on the Fab or Swingers bit. Plenty of men in sexless marriages too as well as those looking for a FWB.

As for the paying and getting what you want wouldn't you rather have sex with someone who finds you attractive and sexy and wants to have you as opposed to someone who is doing it for money and watching a clock.

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AverageGuy Wed 07-Apr-21 12:56:06

All,
Fabswingers is not for the faint hearted, but at least people are open and honest about what they are looking for. Set your filters correctly, and block anyone that doesn't treat you how you should be treated.

There are some really nice people on there like me grin

You could try Killing Kittens, as that's female led. I'm on there as well!

It's possible to find a FWB or FB on any dating site - just put something like "looking for fun" on your profile, and you will be inundated! grin

@Spiderling - tread with caution. I've been where you are, and cheating can cause a marriage. I was lucky that I couldn't go through with it... We did end up getting a divorce.

I highly suggest you have an open and honest talk with your DH.

Would you both consider an open marriage? He may actually not have an issue with you seeking physical release elsewhere. Some men get off on it! shock

Also, there are a LOT of married guys looking for a bit on the side, and even more looking for notches on their bedpost - I know what it's like to be desperate for sex / intimacy (been there, done that), but don't settle for anyone! or pm me! grin

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 13:13:05

@MisterT373

As for the paying and getting what you want wouldn't you rather have sex with someone who finds you attractive and sexy and wants to have you as opposed to someone who is doing it for money and watching a clock.

Yes absolutely, which is why I said free love for me please! 🙂

I was just thinking that in the OP's situation, maybe the discipline/barriers etc. of a formal business transaction might be reassuring. Also to stop HER getting too attached.

I must have a v high opinion of myself as I imagine a male prostitute possibly feeling he'd had a great day at work if I walked through the door, and might even run into overtime without realising it!! (trust me, the clock is the last thing he'd be thinking about 😉)

But this is about @Spiderling and her sad situation. My instinct is the same as @AverageGuy - I think it would be better if open with your DH. But only you can know how he'd feel.

Also @Spiderling be careful - you might find someone who fucks you amazingly and then you won't want your DH. V possible. ...

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 13:28:18

The formatting is being very frisky today. Messing with me 😀 (bold wasn't bold, normal was 🤦‍♀️)

LipstickOnYourCollar5 Wed 07-Apr-21 15:59:59

@Spiderling - I don’t think a male prostitute is the answer, you are both clearly not sexually compatible, so wouldn’t it make sense to separate?
If you wanted to use a male escort, I think it’s important your husband is aware of this.

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 16:27:09

@LipstickOnYourCollar5
But I think @Spiderling has a family she loves, including a 10 year old son, and that’s more important than sex.

She wants to protect and keep her family. She just also needs really to find the right person to fuck her, to fit in with her life, not intrude, not get attached, be respectful, etc, and is exploring how she might achieve that.

Personally I think an understanding guy who doesn’t charge by the hour might be best. And less worry about where’s he’s been (?!! Maybe!).

I think the worry about these various hook-up sites is that people maybe go there for less vanilla needs. @Spiderling just requires someone who will love and satisfy her physically, in a fairly simple way by the sounds of it.

LipstickOnYourCollar5 Wed 07-Apr-21 16:52:10

@Parkerwhereareyou - I understand that but that doesn’t mean being dishonest and deceitful have to be part of that. If her husband is aware and agrees to this, then there is no problem but doing it behind his back is another matter. This is my personal opinion though and I’m aware not everyone shares this!

TheRealForReal Wed 07-Apr-21 17:06:45

@Parkerwhereareyou what happened to your thread about cock size? Why was it removed?

@AverageGuy where in the UK are you? Lol

Danceswithwhippets Wed 07-Apr-21 18:27:51

A bloke’s opinion here @Spiderling. I’ve been assessing the comments! This is the most interesting thread I’ve followed for some time, thanks to @Parkerwhereareyou @MrT373 @AverageGuy @LipstickOnYourCollar5 in particular.

The starting point is to validate that you do deserve a sex life and intimacy.

My view -so far -willing to change my mind -are that he is not likely to change his ways. Can we assume you’ve been together for at least 10 years, if your son is from your relationship? If so then it’s an established relationship and your life would be badly disrupted if you split up.

I suggest step 1 is to raise the situation with him, and ask if he’s genuinely interested in dealing with it. If not, then I think step 2 is to ask him how would he feel about you getting your needs sorted elsewhere? Step 3 is going your own way either with or without his approval. If with, you need to negotiate parameters. If without, you either do so openly or secretly -both ways risky for your relationship (and at some stage your son may learn of it).

My personal view is that a male prostitute is not the way to go. I haven’t sorted my thinking out on that fully, partly a moral objection but I suppose there’s probably not a risk of the prostitute being exploited as might be the case with a women. But an impact on the household finances, depending on your requirements! There will be plenty of men willing and able to meet your needs, it would then be a question of how to find a FWB. The men posters seem to be giving good advice (maybe I should take it…)

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 18:54:05

@Danceswithwhippets
But an impact on the household finances, depending on your requirements!
Hahaha I nearly choked when I read that

@LipstickOnYourCollar5
If her husband is aware and agrees to this, then there is no problem but doing it behind his back is another matter.
Yes, I agree with you - better it's out in the open, or at least agreed that OP can just get on with it (perhaps the husband won't want all the details).

he is not likely to change his ways.
Yes he so won't. He's got his slippers and pipe and that's it now, which I think is what OP is feeling too, hence her despair, and decision to explore practical solutions. (well done, by the way, @Spiderling - not very easy to sort out, but great you are thinking about how to do it)

@TheRealForReal
... long story ... (or short, wide, slimmer, whatever ;)

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 19:08:06

@Danceswithwhippets
Yes, you're right, I do have a lot more thoughts on this topic - will try not to disappoint ;)

I haven’t sorted my thinking out on that fully, partly a moral objection

For some years, I've thought there is a gap in the market here. I know this isn't quite @Spiderling's position, but what about all those single women, of any age really, who aren't with someone (either haven't found one yet, or unhappy spinsters after general turbulence) ... and it's Friday night. They may be totally delighted they're on their own, but let's consider for a moment the one's who aren't. They don't get to plan some cosy Netflix on the sofa. They don't get to go out for dinner. They don't get to open the door to someone just in on the train or plane or whatever, who has actually been looking forward to seeing them all week; they don't get to answer that door in their underwear ... what a pity.

(OK don't focus on the underwear here! Whether to admonish or encourage me!! ;)

The point is: they are lonely. Nobody to touch them. To hug them close. To lie with them and let even just their toes rub together. To feel another body.

I'm not even talking sex here (perhaps better I don't for now ;). No. Just the warmth and positivity from another person. In this case, male.

But wait, all is not lost! : D They can pop online and order a lovely guy to come round! Delivery time 30-45 mins! (omg can she wait that long?!) And he can be customised!! She checks through the available Romeos, and makes her selection. She ticks boxes ... to select if she wants just to chat, if he can touch her at all, if she wants a hug (or constant hugging from the second he walks through the door), a foot massage, a takeaway, some wine (should he pour it out for her), etc. ......

She customises her evening. Her photo and details need to be on her ac. The guy decides if he's OK with it. Probably thinks aw another one who just wants a hug, a pizza and a glass of rose, bless her. And that's it! Paypal, Applepay ... everyone is happy.

It could at least be a once a month treat. Friends could do gift options.

OMG. Please don't steal my idea ; ) ....

[Disclaimer: My tone is very light and I am only joking - so please don't get cross or take anything I've said seriously! Just a little joke ...] [But I bet the site would crash on the first Friday ; ) ]

Myotherusernamewastakenagain Wed 07-Apr-21 19:15:35

What example would this set to your son if he ever found out? It's disgusting that you think men's bodies are for sale.

TheRealForReal Wed 07-Apr-21 19:19:23

I'd feel comfortable doing that @Parkerwhereareyou. I am a single 25 year old, with children. When they go to their dads on a weekend I would love some company, but have no interest in a relationship. And I worry about meeting someone through OLD, because I worry they may assault me, steal from my home, stalk me afterwards etc. I've heard horror stories from friends, some pretty serious and it puts me right off. If it were a reputable service surely it would be regulated in some way so the men would be more 'trustworthy' ? I'd rather pay someone who was almost guaranteed to treat me with respect ( as I'd be a paying customer) than take my chances with a stranger.

AverageGuy Wed 07-Apr-21 19:22:51

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Parkerwhereareyou Wed 07-Apr-21 19:43:52

oh @TheRealForReal - everything you say is exactly where my idea came from. Respectful, safe, all sides happy with the exchange. Of course, selection of the guys would be a big thing ... have to be the right, laid back sort, with no problem and empathy for the women.

And I really was only thinking the highest level of contact that could be selected would be 'hugging'.

Or face stroking. Oh yes. I like face stroking. I could order someone to stroke my face (and eyebrows in particular) for an hour. That would be amazing. So simple, so healthy! And I would return the favour too!

Perhaps I'm being very naive, but I think that if it had very clear limits, and was defined as being warmth rather than sex, then ... it would have its appeal?

@AverageGuy
- just how many women exactly are PMing you?! (even that sounds bad, now I say it)

MisterT373 Wed 07-Apr-21 19:44:21

Interesting article here about male sex workers (ok its Australia but we must have the same here )

Having read it I thought "fair play to both parties"

www.buzzfeednews.com/article/hallielieberman/male-sex-workers-feminist-consent-boyfriend-experience

MisterT373 Wed 07-Apr-21 19:47:02

And having read this one you'd better start saving!
www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/male-escort-506665

Danceswithwhippets Wed 07-Apr-21 20:14:26

@Parkerwhereareyou Sorry, it may be your sauvignon blanc talking but you’ve got a very good idea here. The Man-by-Uber, dial-a-feller thing I mean. Thinking about the detail, both parties in the transaction get to rate the other (like Uber). Toppings? free coke? (if pizza)?

Sorry but the eyebrow stroking sounds a personal quirk and I’m not sure it deserves a box on the app as an extra.

Hmmm If I can get this idea to Dragons Den first, it’s mine.

Sorry @Spiderling, this thread is hi jacked and will get silly very quickly.

TheRealForReal Wed 07-Apr-21 20:17:43

Dial-a-feller 🤣🤣🤣

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