Help me orgasm again

(4 Posts)
chickennugget501 Thu 11-Feb-21 08:36:23

I have realised I have started faking it, something I never thought I'd do. I've only been with DP 2 years, but he used to make me orgasm easily with his hand. Now it just feels like it isn't going to happen, like I have a block on it. I feel like I'm going to cum, but then, nothing.

Should I abstain from masturbation for a while? Or stop watching porn (I rarely do), or stop using toys? He'd be really self conscious if I told him, though I think he has noticed I don't get as wet as I used to too.

Any tips on where my orgasm has gone gratefully received

OP’s posts: |
Alonelonelyloner Sun 14-Feb-21 14:53:39

I had this once for a whole 18 months! Nothing. I didn't even come close even with masturbation (so possibly more extreme). I do go through spells now where I can come close but nothing. I don't think stopping the other stuff will change it as in my experience the more you cum the more you can cum.

How long does he take down there?
I think you need to tell him or at least reduce the faking to the point where it can open up a conversation. After 2 years his ego shouldn't be so easily dented for not making you orgasm. After all he's done a very good job so far.

Talk about it. Maybe try fantasy and something new. Not much help sorry, but maybe good to know that it does happen to others (most probably).

newcurtainsNo9 Sun 14-Feb-21 19:31:23

Thanks for replying. It does help!

Maybe you're right, about having more orgasms. Maybe it's men that need to abstain for a while with this problem! What do you think caused it in your case? I think longer needs to be doesnt down there. I also think he goes for it a bit too soon, with full on clit stimulation too soon, and not enough teasing, drawn out stuff. Once he starts that, I feel under pressure as I imagine it's hard work!

Whatliesbeneath707 Mon 15-Feb-21 08:36:33

If you go onto the Goop website, there is quite a long & detailed Q&A page by a sex therapist (Stephen Snyder I think) and he talks a lot about the issues you mentioned and whether using toys is a problem etc (he says not).
I’ve tried to link it but it won’t work but it’s worth having a look at the website.

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