DP struggling to cum

(8 Posts)
dazzlinghaze Sat 31-Oct-20 11:34:44

Hi everyone, just looking for a bit of advice.

I've been with my DP for about a year and our sex life has been great. Over the last month or so there's been a few occasions where he's not been able to climax. The first couple of times we were able to get him there by masturbating together but the last time it happened, he wasn't able to even get himself off.

I don't think he's gone off sex with me because he still initiates, he doesn't lose his erection and still seems to be really into it during. He seems frustrated that this is happening. I know he does masturbate and use porn as he's told me and it doesn't bother me because I do too. We don't live together so I think that's normal. He says he thinks because it happened the first couple of times it's in his head now that he won't be able to cum and during sex he starts to worry it's going to happen again so inevitably it does. And he says he's worried that it will hurt my feelings.

I've reassured him that I'm totally fine, I know he loves and fancies me and my only concern is that I want him to be satisfied too. I've asked if there's anything different he wants to try that he thinks would get him there etc but he says no. I'm open to some kink but he's pretty vanilla and says no he enjoys the "normal" sex that we have.

I suppose I'm just wondering if anyone's had a similar experience and how you managed to solve the issue. I'm keen to not let it turn into a big thing because I know that will make it worse if he feels stressed about it.

Thanks in advance!

OP’s posts: |
dazzlinghaze Sat 31-Oct-20 11:38:54

Oh, also I've had some gynae issues that are being investigated. Some pain and bleeding after sex. I wonder if this is in his head and he's worrying he's hurting me.

OP’s posts: |
Myotherusernamewastakenagain Sat 31-Oct-20 12:16:55

Is he on any medication?

dazzlinghaze Sun 01-Nov-20 13:33:06

No, he's not on any medication as far as I'm aware. Sod's law, after writing this post we had sex twice this weekend with no issues! Think my gynae issues may have been playing on his mind as I had an appt through the week that ruled out anything sinister and now sex seems to be back to normal.

OP’s posts: |
Boatingforthestars Sun 01-Nov-20 18:15:57

It will be pressure from the previous time, I'm a guy and have had similar, it will go away again as soon as it started if you try and forget about it.
Just dont give it any air time and focus on the fact it doesnt matter either way.

IJustWantSomeBees Wed 18-Nov-20 17:26:03

I wouldn't rule out too much porn, it genuinley does effect the brain. Is he coming over and having sex straight from his house? Could it be death grip? If not it's probably just nerves.

marchez Wed 18-Nov-20 21:07:08

Google delayed ejaculation, it's as much of a thing as premature

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dazzlinghaze Thu 19-Nov-20 23:00:00

Thought I'd update because I noticed there was a couple of replies. Since I wrote this post everything has been absolutely fine! I think the first time it happened threw him off and then he was worrying about it happening again so inevitably it did. I think me not making a big deal out of it helped. That's been a couple of weeks now and it's not happened again so he seems to be over it!

OP’s posts: |

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