I'm quite embarrassed about this, which is why I've name-changed, but I'm posting in Sex rather than Relationships because I want to focus on the here and now situation, not the whys and wherefores.
For various reasons relating to my mental health, I haven't had sex for about 20 years. I'm now seeing a man and it's looking like sex will be on the cards fairly soon, and although I really, really want to do it, I'm worried that I won't be able to remember what to do! Also that things have changed so much in the last two decades (!) that I don't even know what expectations guys have going into a sexual relationship these days.
I have reasonable self-esteem and have had a lot of therapy and treatment, but I'm still not crazy about my body. But if I sit around and wait until I love myself before I get into any sort of relationship, I'll probably never have sex again, and as I said, I'm pretty keen on this guy!
I don't want to dump all this on him straight away, so I was just wondering how to approach it. I'm so inexperienced I might as well be a virgin, and I don't feel confident with stuff like giving a BJ or being able to go on top. If I were to say something like "It's been a while since I've done this, so can we take it gently?" (without specifying just how long) or even suggested that I'd find it really sexy for him to take the lead, would that be off-putting to most men?
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Sex
Sex for the first time in 20 years
31 replies
PanHaggerty · 14/10/2020 10:02
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