No sex drive since birth of baby

(6 Posts)
Stargirl2707 Sat 12-Sep-20 21:08:04

I gave birth 11 months ago. Delivery was quite traumatic with forceps, cuts and tears (TMI sorry!)
Anyway, me and my partners sex life has never really got to how it was since having our baby. I breastfeed too so unsure how much impact that has on libido and have limited sleep due to baby waking frequently through night each night.

I don’t ever feel like having sex. I don’t ever feel turned on or think about sex. We have sex every so often but I feel almost like I’m doing this as it’s the right thing to do.
I can’t bare my bits being touched at the moment. If my boyfriend tries to touch my clit I guide his hands away. I don’t want to tell him I can’t cope with being touched there as I don’t want him to think it’s him or anything he’s doing.

I’m assuming this is all in relation to birth etc. But I just want to know, am I on my own in this situation or has anyone else experienced this? How did things improve?

OP’s posts: |
Rgy3250999 Sat 12-Sep-20 22:57:23

I experienced the same thing whilst breastfeeding. Had no sex drive, my boobs were completely off limits and felt really uncomfortable and almost wrong to touch. Thankfully, this did improve once I stopped breastfeeding and I don’t have a normal urge again and will happily let DH touch me. Hope that reassures you a bit. I think it’s your bodies way of helping to prevent another baby that would also need feeding.

LL82 Sat 05-Dec-20 19:34:15

Following as I also feel like this. My son is 20 months and I breast fed up to 15 months. I have no desire at all. I want to role model and affection relationship to my son but I can barely touch my partner. It’s getting me so down and I know he is irritated by it and generally very respectful as he doesn’t pester x

Howzaboutye Sun 06-Dec-20 01:31:53

Normal.
Lots of lube.
Talk to your partner

Remmy123 Sun 06-Dec-20 17:55:13

Nor did I - it lasted for 2.5 years 😬

xpc316e Sun 06-Dec-20 19:11:33

Mother Nature has to provide your new baby with the greatest chance of survival, and she does that by trying to ensure that you concentrate all of your resources on this one and not dilute things by having you make another competing baby. Nature does not want you to be having sex and maximising the chance of another baby being created; this is achieved by means of the hormones involved in lactation.

What you are experiencing is entirely natural. You need to accept it and not beat yourself up about it. Research it with your partner so that you can grow your knowledge. Don't push each other away physically, because you probably need support, but realise that sex is off the menu at present.

Best wishes.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in