Name changed as this is a bit mortifying. And long, sorry.
OH and I have been together 18 years, married for 10. Sex life has been up and down over the years due to 2 kids by c section (ages 7 and 2) and various gynae issues on my part (recurrent thrush, bv, and irregular long periods all of which are now mostly fixed). Since getting back to normal after our youngest stopped breastfeeding a year ago we probably have sex a couple of times a week give or take depending on illness, teething and the exhaustion of both working full time jobs. OH is attentive in bed but less so with day to day affection -im more likely to get a slap on the arse than a cuddle. If he had his way sex would be daily and it seems to be all he ever thinks about which I find over powering. Anyway, background aside we've had a situation over the last few weeks which came to a head last night...
About 6 weeks ago OH bought 2 sex toys. It's not the first time he has done this but I thought after the last 3 went unused after an initial joint use he might have gotten the message. The new ones stayed in his bed side drawer and he would ask every few days if I'd tried them yet. Last night we had a bit of a date night with a takeaway and some relaxing after kids went to bed plus a few gins for me - he doesn't drink. Up in bed after some foreplay he started to use one of the toys on me and being drunk I thought, ok I'll give it a go for him. It's one of these remote type ones and I was relaxed when he put it in but he hit the button, it started vibrating and I freaked out. Think I said get that out of me I dont like it then burst into tears. He was very apologetic and said he just wants to make sex better for me, to which I explained I dont need it improved, I always come at least once, often multiple times. We finished what we started but I know we will have to have a conversation about my reaction.
So honestly, am I that strange to not be turned on by buzzy bits of plastic and rubber? Has OHs porn viewing made him think all women are? I dont know exactly why I'm averse but would guess it's a combination of:
Lots of internal examinations with speculum to the point that I don't like the feel of anything unnatural in there.
I am very sensitive down there and a strong vibrating sensation either internally and externally makes me feel physically sick in my stomach
My anatomy means that I have very little space down there - doctors have previously commented that I'm very narrow with a short perineum and a tilted cervix. Sometimes during sex I feel like I'm going to pooh because my passages are so close together.
I think I really upset OH last night as he thought I would like it but it's just not my thing. And never has been so why can't he realise that?
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Aversion to sex toys - is this weird?
5 replies
NannyPlumluvsWOE · 11/04/2020 17:46
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