When would you tell?

(10 Posts)
iamacyborg Sat 28-Dec-19 07:40:38

I have a new partner and sex is on the cards, yay! But I had a breast reconstruction after cancer and I haven't mentioned this yet.
I don't want for him not to be prepared and even though the reconstruction is a good one there is still a scar. How or when would you mention this, and guys, would this put you off?

OP’s posts: |
StarlightLady Sat 28-Dec-19 08:23:50

I would casually mention it over a drink, but not make a big deal of it. Many of us have had medical procedures for various reasons.

I hope things go well with the new partner. x

Justaordinarybloke Sat 28-Dec-19 08:54:41

I wouldn't be put offat all and any man that is (be v surprised if there was) is not even worth your time.
I'd be a little surprised you hadn't had the confidence to tell me what you'd been through. Just say before you take the next step I need to tell you.......... he will be absolutely fine. Enjoy.

Sparkybloke Sat 28-Dec-19 09:02:47

He will be absolutely fine with it. Well done for heating the big C....

Sparkybloke Sat 28-Dec-19 09:03:19


twinnywinny14 Sat 28-Dec-19 15:20:50

You cannot go to bed with a man who you cannot be open and honest with. Tell him sooner rather than later, if he has a problem then you’re better off knowing beforehand, but I’m pretty sure he won’t have

Jane1978xx Sun 29-Dec-19 00:09:44

I would just say over a drink did I mention that I had cancer ... and he should ask some q’s and you can then mention the reconstruction but he really shouldn’t care. He may have some questions about how he can touch you but i am sure you can work thru that together.


Welshmaenad Sun 29-Dec-19 20:18:56

I had about half the tissue in my right breast removed about 2 years ago, and it is badly scarred. I was single for ages and recently had to bring this up with the guy I am dating - I did it very early on, just told him what had happened, that it affected the look and shape of my breast and that it affected my confidence.

He's been amazing - once we became intimate he asked if he needed to be careful or avoid anything, and has been massively reassuring that he finds me attractive and he's still very happy to play with it!

Just tell him - tell him it makes you feel a little vulnerable but wanted to explain ahead of you two getting naked. I hope he's amazing about it and then immediately makes you forget you ever thought it would be a problem!

Marriedtoapenguin Fri 03-Jan-20 15:33:43

Any normal fella should be perfectly fine. It is what it is. If he's not ok then you know it's straight bin the idiot time. Big up for beating the big C!

LoopRoop Mon 06-Jan-20 18:16:48

My partner told me about her reconstruction just before we got naked. I was a bit nervous as I didn’t know what to expect but seeing her nerves and trying to understand what she had been through made me determined that this should be a good experience for her. I loved her body with its battle scars. It shows her tremendous strength. 10 years on, I love it still.

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