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My boyfriend likes to be fuc*ked up the bum!

(263 Posts)

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liliboard Sat 19-Oct-19 23:49:44

So this is a long one.

And note, I'm deadly serious.

So me and my partner have been together for 11 years. His sex drive is waaaaay higher than mine. Which is cool. But my partner loves anal. And I don't mean my bum! He likes me to fuck him in the bum with, well, anything. Dildo, carrot, orange, my fist.
This all started within a year of our relationship. He admitted he liked some bum stuff and it's just evolved. At first I didn't mind and was interested in the new and exciting sex stuff we were doing. But as time has gone on I have hated it more and more. Dreaded it every time. It's like a chore. I really hate it. When he talks about wanting to 'suck my dick after I've fucked his arse' and 'i want your spunk up me' whilst we're in the moment just puts me off him completely. We've had countless arguments over it and I've just ended up basically saying 'i don't like it but I'll do it because you do'. But it's honestly making me find him less sexually attractive. And I feel it's completely ruining how I feel about him. We've talked loads about it and we even stopped doing it for a while which made me happy but him sad!! He says it's his way of release and takes away stress. And I get that. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot get away from feeling distant from him. I don't believe he is gay. We've got 2 kids together and are engaged (although yes , I know it can still happen) but I think he's maybe a little bit gay? Bi? I dunno.
Anyway. Any advice would be really appreciated and if anyone likes this stuff too , please, let me know!!!

darkparadise1 Sat 19-Oct-19 23:54:14

Oh god that is a lot. It does sound like he's at least bi but maybe gay. If you're not into it don't feel like you have to do it for his sake - if you don't want to he's just going to have to deal with it.

Needtobuildabridge Sat 19-Oct-19 23:56:41

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

QueefLatifah Sat 19-Oct-19 23:57:21

I’d run a mile.

Closet gay.. spunk.. your dick...

He’s not just enjoying anal with you. He’s fantasising that you are a bloke.

Alarm bells.

gamerchick Sat 19-Oct-19 23:57:28

* I don't believe he is gay*

Really? hmm

There's no such thing as a little bit gay...

Jaguarana Sat 19-Oct-19 23:57:58

There's a sex topic you know. Or are you too new to MN to post there?

QueefLatifah Sat 19-Oct-19 23:58:14

I’d pack his bags and tell him to take his chocolate orange with him.

PumpkinP Sat 19-Oct-19 23:58:52

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wildorchidz Sat 19-Oct-19 23:59:02

I’d pack his bags and tell him to take his chocolate orange with him.


liliboard Sat 19-Oct-19 23:59:26

Honestly. It's real.
Well there's fully out right gay and then there's maybe a bit of dabble, bit of a fantasy but not actually wanting a relationship with a man.
I'm all for open mindedness but it's making me pretty miserable in our relationship!

ExcitedForFuture Sat 19-Oct-19 23:59:28


Pannalash Sat 19-Oct-19 23:59:35

An orange? confused

Mrsmummy90 Sat 19-Oct-19 23:59:47

You don't have to do it you know.
If you hate it, stop.

I would definitely be questioning his sexuality though.
And Ricky Martin had a wife and kids so that's no sign of heterosexuality.

Cherylshaw Sat 19-Oct-19 23:59:49

i think you are hoping he's not gay but I would disagree...
not just because of the bum fun as each to their own but saying he wants to suck your dick after...
would be a no go for me

Mrsmummy90 Sun 20-Oct-19 00:00:12

@QueefLatifah lmfao

Closetbeanmuncher Sun 20-Oct-19 00:00:48

If you told me he wanted a finger in his bum there's plenty of straight guys who like that but come on now op he's gay in neon lights, and you're what is commonly referred to as a beard.

MrsBobBlackadder Sun 20-Oct-19 00:00:58

Deletion message incoming in three, two, one...

Sadiesnakes Sun 20-Oct-19 00:01:00

Yeah if this is legit, he's gay. There are some straight men that do enjoy their prostate massaged, but what he's asking you for is him fantasizing about being with men and not just a sensation.

Mumdiva99 Sun 20-Oct-19 00:01:52

I thought you were going to break up with him last year. Didn't you leave?

liliboard Sun 20-Oct-19 00:02:04

Sorry if I posted this in the wrong catagory.
He says he doesn't imagine that it's an actual penis , but what else would he call it?
I don't expect anyone to really understand. I've been with him for 11 years and I don't. But I would like a little compassion rather than jokes

C0untDucku1a Sun 20-Oct-19 00:02:56

Posting for the deletion message.

Chocolate orange grin

A little gay grin

kristallen Sun 20-Oct-19 00:02:55

You're sexually incompatible as was highlighted when bum sex stopped and you were happy, he was not.

He's not going to change - and neither will you (nor should you try to, more than you already have).

Think very hard about whether you want this as your sex life forever, and whether in five years time when you've got no sex life left, you'll be fine finding out hers been getting bum thrills elsewhere.

Nowt wrong with what he or you like, but they simply can't work together.

QueefLatifah Sun 20-Oct-19 00:03:16

Is he called Terry

HollowTalk Sun 20-Oct-19 00:04:05


PrincessHoneysuckle Sun 20-Oct-19 00:04:12

Just choked on a steak McCoy's reading this

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